Haunted by a long gone time
by Mishka Fogolin
Summary: Continues after Hope and John's conversation at the Dimera mansion, after he questions her about the "spine-shattering" submarine sex. Stefano needs Gina again for a while, but what will the repercussions be for Hope... 2008 storyline.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

"Alone at last!" The minute he said those words, she should have known something was coming, something that will haunt her...

Forever.

Hope thinks over the conversation she had with John earlier, shaking her head from side to side.

"I have no intention of reliving it." she told him earlier, yet now he had awoken memories that make her cringe in shame..

She throws her hands into the air, then sits forward on the couch, takes a sip of coffee, then puts the cup back on the table, somewhat harshly, then exclaims aloud:

"Who on earth could've told him about that. That! Of all things, who would mention that time to him!" she pushes her hands through her hair, and sighs somewhat loudly.

His words still echo in her mind.

"Did we have fun?"

Fun?!" she gets a flash of memory, tumbling with him, on a large queen size bed, panting, slick with sweat, him on top then herself taking over, grabbing at him as if she'll never get enough....

"That wasn't me!" she says again, aloud, then softer, almost whispering, "it might've been my body, but it wasn't me."

She hears a small stampede coming down the stairs, then Bo's voice as he halts on the bottom step.

"Coming, Fancyface?" she turns around, and smiles.

"Yup, I'll be up in sec." As he smiles, then turns to go back upstairs, this time his footsteps muffled by the upwards angle, she bites down on her bottom lip, as John's last words echo in her mind, before he mercifully changed the subject.

"It's okay, I got my answer. It was hot!"

As she slips forward, grabbing her cup and standing up from the couch, the words tumble over her lips in a whisper, her mouth twitching and her eyebrow lifting with irony.

"What an understatement..."

She goes through to the kitchen and places her cup in the sink, then turns to leave, yet stays there in the middle of the kitchen, motionless, as the last part of the conversation replays in her mind.

"I told you everything you wanted to know. Back off!"

"Fair enough. I won't mention it again."

"Good, Thank you."

"You have my word."

"Good."

He passes around her as she wipes over her face. She felt so uncomfortable, passing so close by him, after telling him, no!, being forced to tell him about the...submarine."

"You believe me?" he sounded surprised.

It was an effort to face him, and sound so calm as she asked him just that.

"You sound surprised?"

"Yeah, just a little."

Perhaps she sounded too trusting? She felt like she had to explain why she trusted him. Explain to a man that was her best friend, almost a brother, her shoulder to lean on, why she trusts him! The whole situation seems preposterous, and yet, she doesn't know this man anymore.

"Look I know you are not the man you once were, and this, um," she waves her hand, gesturing to the whole person standing in front of her, " new...you..from what I can tell, like it or not, is what you see is what you get."

"The only question then is, do you like it...or not?" the way he emphasized the word you, made it seem so much more personal than the words themselves, she felt more uncomfortable than before. He has a way of doing that. Ever since he came back he has been so damn arrogant, so disdainful of everyone. Seeming so...dangerous, as if he always has ulterior motives in what he says. You just don't know what to expect. She went back to shuffling papers, unseeing, not wanting to look him in the eye.

"That is a strange question to ask." she was playing for time, not knowing how to answer, and he knew, of course he knew, how could he not pick that up!

"Well, I'm a strange guy." he swings back around, willing her to face him, still so damn arrogant as if he is enjoying her discomfort... "So what's your answer?"

"Well, let's see..." she wills herself to face him, "I would have to say that, um," she forces herself to look him in the eye, then ops for the truth, " I am starting to get used to this new...new you."

He smiled in a way that made it difficult to read what he was thinking. Pleased. Satisfied. Perhaps relieved. Could it be that underneath that shell he actually still cares what the citizens of Salem think of him?

She herself felt very relieved as Bo entered the drawing room, from searching the top part of the house. The interrogation was finally over.

It wasn't a lie, she was starting to get used to him, the way he is now, the person he has become, perhaps her memories of the sub helped her deal with this change, an advantage most other people in Salem don't have. This John is a lot closer to the man she knew as Gina than who he was before the last brainwashing...

She feels cold and realizes that she had been standing, frozen half way between the kitchen sink and the door.... How could one little conversation upset her this much? Perhaps because she can't tell Bo, because she feels too ashamed, and didn't want to hurt him with the memories of that time. John certainly had no qualms in mocking her about how Bo would feel about their conversation.

She makes a sound, very much like a grunt, then takes off, up the stairs, after Bo, where she will once again feel safe and warm, held in his strong arms.


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

A month and a half later....

"I'm going to have the disk repaired." Marlena states, simply, her hands resting limply in her lap.

Hope arch an eyebrow, stifling a groan. She exchanges a look with her husband, Bo Brady, then she speaks up.

"Do you think it'll work? What if the disk is irreparable?"

"It has to work." Marlena states with determination.

"Bo, Hope." The look up at the door where Commissioner Carver has just entered the office at the precinct. "Can I talk to you?"

"Yee-ah..." Bo says in his long drawn out way as he stands up.

"Sure." Hope leans forward and takes Marlena's hands in hers, giving them a soft squeeze. "Hang in there." Then she follows Bo and Abe into his office. Marlena stands up to leave, remembering her earlier conversation with the mad scientist-turned-butler, Rolf.

"It has got to work." she whispers before leaving.

* * *

They all file in and make themselves comfortable, as Abe shuffles some papers behind his desk, then proceeds to talk.

"The package from Paul Hollingsworth before his...disappearance, hasn't turned up much. Are you sure you have gone through everything?"

"There wasn't much to work with, just the letter to Morgen really, when you get down to it. It didn't give us any more leads..." Hope answers, going through all the case facts in her mind. She feels convinced they are missing something....

"Bo?" Abe looks over at his long time friend and colleague.

Bo rubs over his chin, then sits forward, staring straight ahead.

"Yee-ah.... There just isn't more to work with...."

They are collectively silent and then Hope sighs dispondantly.

'Yeah, I know how you feel." Abe sympathizes, "It is cases like these that make our work a lot less enjoyable. Two suspects, the one is family," he holds a hand up in Bo's direction, "and the other feel, or at least felt, like family..."

"I think it is time, not just for Marlena, but for us as well, to say farewell to John. Again. We grieved, we were starting to get over his death, and then..." the sentence hangs in the air. Hope continues, "Look, we have to accept the fact that the John we knew and loved is dead, and he is not coming back. The man walking around the Dimera mansion, basically taking over Stefano's life, is not John. It may be biologically, but..."

"Yes, but that doesn't mean he did it..." Bo interjects, a little forcefully.

Abe and Hope looks at him strangely.

"Are you saying that you think Philip did it?" Abe asks.

Bo looks up a little startled.

"No." then collecting his thoughts, he continues..."I just think we have to try and be objective. The fact that he walks around acting like a Dimera doesn't necessarily make him one."

"Even though he nearly killed you that time you all went to Ireland?" Abe sounds, skeptical.

"Yeah, well..."

Hope looks a little perplexed as well. Sure, she does still feel a certain amount of affection for John, whatever he may be like, he was her best friend, they have spent many years supporting and helping one another, but still, this is a possible murder case, and he is a whole different person now. What ever their relationship was with him in the past, that cannot taint their objectivity towards the case, and right now, most of the evidence seems to be pointing straight at him...

* * *

"Hollingsworth?" John calls through the basement door as he opens it.

Paul looks up at the man standing like a soldier in the doorway, his face unreadable as he hands him a plate of food.

"We have to talk about this, My daughter..." Paul doesn't get to finish his sentence, as John interjects.

"Later. Ava is upstairs, and she can be a little follower. I don't want her down here."

He turns around, marches out, closing the door in one smooth motion. Paul sighs and eyes the plate hungrily. He doesn't know what to expect. Is it safe to eat? Is John using him only to discard him later, or is he safe for a longer time than John's interest in him will hold?

"Time will tell." he sighs, then he slowly takes a bite of a baked potato.

* * *

Bo Brady sits. That is it. He sits. He doesn't want to think. When he thinks, the situation falls on him like mountain turned...

"You tampered with evidence. YOU TAMPERED WITH EVIDENCE!" His mind screams at him. And the worst part of it is: Apart from Victor and Philip, Kate is now involved as well!

He hits himself against the head.

"How could you be so stupid?!" he exclaims at himself. It is too late now. The tape has been destroyed, and chances are John is going to go down for murder – a murder he most probably didn't commit. Perhaps they can get him off by pinning it on Ava? She's going to prison soon in any case?

No! What is he thinking? He isn't going to go compounding his lie with more lies!!!

He lets his head fall into his hands, sighing, feeling miserable. Trapped.

"Brady?" Hope's soft voice interrupts his thoughts. He looks up and around to see her standing at the foot of the stairs, dressed in a silk pajama suit, and big fluffy slippers that looks more like something that should be in Ciara's bedroom than on his wife's feet in the lounge. A warm glow fills his heart. If anyone can pull of that look, it is his Fancyface. She looks concerned though and he realizes the picture he must make...

"Hey, Fancyface." He walks over to her, and pulls her into his arms, resting his chin on her head. She feels so tiny and frail..."It's just the case, it just feels like we're not getting any where." he explains, hating himself for lying.

She pulls back and smiles up at him as she drops a kiss on his lips. "Come to bed." As she turns, holding his hand, pulling him after her as they mount the stares, he smiles to himself. All he has ever wanted was to make her happy and the surprised he has planned will definitely make her very happy. At least they have that....


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"What a mess!" Bo Brady sighs, pushing his hands through his hair.

He thinks over the last month-or-so. It started quite well, Hope loved his surprise. They renewed their vows, and re-did their first wedding, carriage and all... She loved it. He can still remember the way her eyes shown that day. He came clean about the evidence he was with-holding, and she understood. She was mad, but she understood. then Hollingsworth turned up alive, Ava took off, their was an investigation launched on him about the evidence, which was all still handleable. Then came the kicker. Dimera, Stefano awake and well, with revenge on his mind. And he managed to get himself out of jail-time, yet again. And that is why everything is a mess.

"You sure you want to do this partner? What about the good fight and taking on Dimera..."

"That's just it, Bo." Abe interrupts. "I'm not getting anywhere. In fact, I am starting to think I, we, never will. We do everything by the book, and he still manages to get off. Every single time!" Abe slams his fist into his desk for affect.

Bo shakes his head, looking doubtful. His brother, Roman Brady sits forward, wearing the same expression.

"And seeing as you two won't budge on taking over my position, I have contacted the mayor with my final recommendation." Abe sits forward, and pulls on his jacket as he stands up. "He'll be making the announcement in a about an hour. I want to get home to Lexie, so I can watch it on TV..."

As he walks out the door the two brothers shake their heads again.

* * *

"Hope Williams Brady." her name keeps repeating in her head... Then she realize that she has been staring into the camera like an idiot, and tries to look normal. The camera moves on, and someone shouts "Cut!", and then every one is around her.

"Congratulations!"

"You go girl!"

"Good goin'!"

Everyone's voices mingle into one big tidal wave. And all she wants is to get away.....

* * *

"Hope turned down the position but she wants me to apply." Bo Brady is sitting at the precinct, sharing a pizza with Roman.

"So go for it....Oh, this is good." Roman reaches over for another piece.

"I don't know. Maybe I should give it a shot... I didn't want to at first, but maybe it'll be the only way to put a stop to Dimera...."

* * *

John Black walks down the stairs of the Dimera mansion. His mansion. And he will do anything to keep it that way. He thinks back to his earlier conversation with Stefano where he hasn't gotten any where. And this thing with Blondie is also eating at his mind. Now the damn woman wants a divorce. He was willing to give it a shot, and he told her so, but she's not budging. He doesn't quite understand why he feels so set against the divorce. Maybe because it means he is part of them. Them being every one that has rejected him, just because he isn't like the old John. Well, damn them all then, if they won't accept him for who he is, then they can all go... But then, if he gives her the divorce, Stefano has won. Perhaps only a battle, he can still win the war, but he refuses to accept even a lost battle.

As he reaches the foot of the stairs, he hears voices.

"I promised Marlena she will never have John again, and that is a small price to pay for what she did to me!" Stefano's voice booms, then turns more proud.

"But that will change, right Rolf? We have the key to keep John away from Marlena, and there is nothing any one can do. Plus! Haa-ha! It will wreak havoc on those damn Brady's as well." John frowns, so that is the plan! Blondie can go stick those divorce papers where the sun don't shine, in fact, maybe he should organize a date. Yes. Somewhere where Stefano is sure to catch wind of it.

"Have you taken our lovely lady home Rolf?"

"She is safely home, Sir."

Damn that Rolf! John grimaces. He hates having lost his own servant to Stefano.

"Oh Rolf! This plan will so work. Our lovely lady will spend all her time on getting John to remember her - and that after I told her expressly to stay away from him! Haa-ha! She has no idea she'll be playing straight into my hands. And at the same time I get absolute power of the whole damn police force as well!"

John frowns and turns back towards the stairs. What Lady could Stefano be talking of? What is he up to? He himself will just have to guard himself when there is any woman around and concentrate on getting his relationship with Blondie back on track - or at least, let it seem back on track. He stops dead in his tracks as an image of two slick naked bodies tumbling in bliss hits him. It couldn't be? Could it? Would Stefano chance it, again?

* * *

Bo Brady walks into his house, shrugging off his jacket and closing the door.

"Hope?!" the house is silent.

"Where can she be?" he mutters under his breath. The whole day he has been trying to reach her. She left the precinct that morning, saying she wants to follow up a lead on the Trent-killing, and just said, it's probably a long shot, but she's going to chance it. The rest of the day he kept calling her cellphone and getting voice mail. Lexie hadn't seen her, neither did Marlena. Chelsea was suppose to meet her for lunch – no doubt wanting a woman's advice on her twisted love life, but Hope never showed.

"Hope?!" he decides to check up stairs, but has an eary feeling that something is wrong. He cannot sense her presence in the house. He rounds the bedroom door and stops dead in his tracks. Hope is..sleeping. She's out like a light, at 8pm. He goes over to check if she has a fever, but she feels quite normal. He feels her stirring, then her eyes open slightly, blurred with sleep.

"Fancy face, 're you all right?"

She puts her hand to her forehead, and smiles slightly.

"Yes." swallows, "I'm all right. I just had a terrible migraine so I took some tablets and came to lie down."

"You feelin' any better."

"Actually, no, not really. Why don't you just let me sleep it off?"

"Okay, Fancy face. Where's Ciara?"

"At Caroline's. I asked her if Ciara could spend the night..."

"Okay, go back to sleep. I'll join you later."

At the door he turns.

"I love you Fancy face."

In the darkness he sees a slight smile at his words.

* * *

"Why didn't you wake me?" Hope calls rushing downstairs and past Bo standing at the foot of it.

"Thought I'd give you a little extra time, seeing as you don't need to get Ciara ready as well."

Hope storms past picking up her bag, then rushes back to the other side to get her jacket she threw over the back of a chair when she came downstairs.

'That's not for you to decide."

Bo throws his hands up in the air.

"Well, sorry."

"I have an urgent meeting at eight which I cannot mis." Hope announces before opening the door.

"Love ya!" Bo calls after her.

Hope turns back, rushes over to him, drops a quick kiss on his lips, then rushes out, calling. "Love you, too."over her shoulder.

Bo has a bewildered look on his face as he stares after her.

"Oh-kay.. Good thing she hadn't taken that Commissioner job, then she'd have had to rush off every morning to some meeting." He throws back his head, and downs his coffee.

* * *

Hope steps out of the car, and looks up to see the Mayor ordering his coffee. She breezes over and sits down.

"Ah! Mrs. Brady. Sorry I had to make it so early, when you phoned yesterday, I knew my day was booked so I figured I'll slip you in over morning coffee."

"It's no problem." she looks up as the waiter arrives with his coffee. "Tea, not too strong, with some lemon, please and hot milk." she orders, smiling at the waiter and staring after him as he leaves, deep in thought, thinking over the reason she is sitting at a table in a coffee shop, meeting the Mayor at a time she would normally still be having breakfast with Bo and Ciara.

"I take it you have taken my proposal in to some consideration. It is still on the table."

She turns her attention back to him, and smiles as she sits back, surveying him.

"Yes. Yes, I have, and I have decided that I shall take the position after all."

"Great! You have made me a very happy man. May I ask what changed your mind."

"One man can be particularly persuasive." she smiles, a smile not quite reaching her eyes. An image of Stefano Dimera in her mind.

"Well, thank him for me, will you?" he says as he raises his coffee in a salute, before downing the rest.

"Perhaps one day I shall...'

He smiles, holds out his hand, she takes it and they shake on it.

"Welcome aboard Mrs. Brady, I am very pleased we had this meeting."

"Thank you." She watches him until his car disappears around the corner, then she sits back to enjoy her tea, feeling satisfied.

* * *

"The case has been re-opened." Roman Brady states.

"Why?" Bo Brady asks. "Things have been sorted now..."

"Stefano I think... He must've pulled some strings and got the Hollingsworth case re-opened as a kidnapping case."

"So, you think this is Stefano's way of getting rid of John so he can have his damn empire back."

"What else?"

They both look up as Hope enters.

"What did I miss?" she sits down and crosses her legs.

"State is re-opening the Hollingsworth case – as a kidnapping case against John."

"But that was settled?" Hope looks alarmed.

"Yeah, but Dimera must've re-opened it, trying to oust John and get his empire back."

"We've already drawn straws, and seeing as ours is the same length, the short one must be left for you. You get to tell John the bad news." Roman states, lying with a straight face.

"Ha-ha-ha, there is no straws. But I'll go... If I'm not back in two hours send out the search party – I have a feeling the messenger may just get shot today."

* * *

Hope rings the doorbell at the Dimera mansion, feeling a bit apprehensive.

The door swings open and Rolf appears. She pushes past him, putting her bag down in the foyer on the small round table, then turns, announcing.

"I need to see John."

Rolf shrugs as he closes the door.

"He isn't here." Rolf says as he closes the door. "And no I don't know where he is." He answers her before she can ask the next question.

"In here, Rolf!" Stefano calls.

Hope roles her eyes at Rolf who shrugs and goes through to the drawing room. After a couple of seconds, she picks up her bag and follows him, leaving it on the sofa.

"Rolf I need you to find me these books – they're somewhere in the old library."

Rolf looks at the list, then questioningly at Stefano.

"They're for the twins, not for me." Stefano explains a little impatiently.

As Rolf leaves, Hope speaks up.

"Playing the doting Grandpa, Steffi?"

"And actually enjoying it." he answers, closing the file in front of him as he stands up. "So what brings you here so early?"

"I need to see John."

"John? What for?" Stefano swings around, faking anger.

"You tell me, you re-opened the case against him, did you not?" she walks up to him until they are just inches from one another, as she pushes her chin out challengingly.

"Oh, Official police business, is it, Gina, or just an excuse to see him?"

She roles her eyes at him, the puts her hands on his lapels.

"Oh Steffi, you really do have a one track mind." she turns away from him and pours herself a drink. "Actually no, Bo and Roman sent me, the dutiful, hardened cop."

"But not for much longer, right?" Stefano pours himself a drink as well.

"No, I'll be Commissioner by the end of the week."

"So you took the job like I told you."

"Off course." she moves over and puts her hands on his chest again, looking up from under her eyelashes. "Oh, Steffi, we didn't part on very good terms, the last time you brought me back.. I'll follow all your orders this time. I won't repeat the same mistakes again." she pouts as she looks up at him.

"All my orders?"

"Yes, all of them."

"And yet you are here to see John,"

She drops her hands and walks a slight distance away before facing him again.

"Won't you ever trust me again?"

"After that damn fiasco with John and later with my Renet?"

"So why did you bring me back then?"she challenges, looking hurt.

"Because I have a use for you, and you'd do well to bear that in mind Gina."

"And when you have no further use, back comes Hopey-Dopey?!" she looks outraged at the idea.

Stefano walks over to her and puts his finger underneath her chin, lifting her face just enough to look her straight in the eye.

"Just make sure that you stay useful to me, and we'll get along just fine, huh? Come, " he swings her around, takes the glass from her hand and starts marching her to the door. As they pass the couch he scoops up her bag and hands it to her. Then gives her a kiss on each cheek. "You still have to play the dutiful cop until you receive supreme power..."

As Gina leave and Stefano retires to his chair, John Black retreats back into the garden from the open terras doors. Gina! He should've known after the last conversation her overheard. He just never thought Stefano would risk bringing her back. He thinks back to what Sami told him, and later Hope, when he gave her no choice but to fess up. Then a lone memory hits him again. Her soft body as he picks her up and places her on the bed, the way she feels beneath him as their limbs tangle with one another, the adrenalin coursing through his veins as the tumble around, their lips locked with passion, the feel of her lips and hair as she teases him, having taken the top position, overpowering his senses.... He shakes his head to make it go away. In all the months he has had one memory. Why couldn't it have been something nonthreatening, or boring, something that wouldn't create such a temptation? Just watching her mannerisms and hearing that articulate accent... He must avoid her at all costs. Stefano will not win, not this time. It is time for him to set up that date with Blondie.

On the other side of the house Gina breaths a sigh of relief. An excuse to see John, Stefano had said. Not in the least. She just wanted the first meeting to get over and done with. This new John unnerves her completely, she's afraid he might see right through her... And if he had such an unnerving affect on Hope, what will his affect be on her?

She shakes her head, willing the anxious feeling away. She's off the hook, for now. Rather rush back to Hope's boring little life at the precinct, it might be boring, but it's safe. Bo and Roman is a lot easier to face, or to fool. After all, she has done it once before...


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"You got everything ready, Bo?"

"Yep, passport, tickets, luggage. Where the hell is Hope?"

"Right here." they look up as she enters. "Where are you going?"

"France. We may have a lead. Melanie's life may be a little more... interesting... than we initially thought... Will you be okay here?"

"Yes..yeah, sure."She dips her head, then smiles up at him. "I think that migraine may have been the on set of a cold. I think I'd better go home and get into bed... If that's okay with you, Roman."

They look instantly concerned.

"Yeah, sure, Hope, you just rest and get better so we can get on with this case."

* * *

"Ah! Freedom!" Gina smiles as she relaxes her body in a hot bath, then reach for her cellphone.

"Hi, Caroline? Listen, I'm a little under the weather, and I was hoping Ciara can stay with you another two or so days...? You have enough of her clothes and things right? Yes, I'll be fine. I'll just stay in bed and be right as rain in a little while. Bo had to go to France, so he also won't be here to watch her. Thanks so much... Yes I'll see a doctor if I don't feel better in a couple of days...Okay, thanks, Bey!"

She places it back on the basin, and sinks back into the bubbles.

"That takes care of any distractions, and since I'll be sick until I start as the new commissioner, I'll have some time to relax..."

"We have to find some way to get Gina back to the mansion. If she doesn't see John, our plan will fail..."

"But how, Stefano?" Rolf asks.

"Leave it to me..."

Stefano picks up the phone, and dials Hope's number.

"Gina, listen I am on my private jet, going over to Ireland to check up on my shipping companies and I need some documents. You have to go over to the house and get them so you can fax2mail them to me. Their in a folder marked Dimera shipping. Yes it is urgent. Gina? There's a good girl..."

Rolf looks up.

"But Stefano I have made sure that we have all the documents you'll need."

"Yes, my dear Rolf, you know that and I know that, but Gina doesn't"

* * *

"So much for my life of leisure .." Gina grumbles as she lets herself into the Dimera mansion, making very sure that there is no-one in the foyer. She tip-toes to the drawing room door and looks in. John is there, smoking a cigar and looking over some papers. Her heart starts to beat faster at the sight of him, and she rushes past, only breathing again when she slips into Stefano's study.

So far so good. The last thing she needs is John distracting her with his unsettling presence. With shaking fingers she unwraps a new packet of cigarettes. Lord knows she needs one! She lights one, then opens the first filing cabinet.

A, B, she skips a few, M, N and then no more.

She closes the drawer and opens the second one.

O, P... She takes a drag from her cigarette.

"I hope you have a warrant." she stiffens as John's voice rings out through the office.

Damn! Damn! Damn! How is she going to explain the cigarette, then she decides to act as if the cigarette might be normal behavior for Hope. It's not like he'd know, right?

She straightens, then face him.

"John. Relax, It's Stefano I am investigating not you."

"You expect me to believe that after the case against me have been opened again? Ol' Steffi took no time to gloat about your visit this morning." he moves over to the desk and puts on the desk lamp. "There. Now you may be able to see the evidence you are gathering about me." He moves toward her, then takes the cigarette from her fingers. She is frozen to the spot as he looks at the logo next to the filter.

"Gauloises. Quite an expensive brand for someone living on a cop's salary."

"I don't smoke permanently, only when I am stressed..."

He takes a drag.

"Not bad, but I think I'll stick to my own brand." he stubs out the cigarette and lights up a cigar, leaning against the desk, looking very much at home.

"Now why don't you tell me what you're really doing here before I have you arrested for breaking and entering."

He wouldn't do that, would he? With this new John you never know...

"I told you I am investigating Stefano"

"In regards to what?"

"That is... classified."

"Convenient." he puts his cigar in the ashtray to smolder, and pushes himself off the desk, coming towards her. The fling cabinet slides shut behind her as she backs up.

"You have a secret." he states, as he puts a hand on either side of her, blocking any escape. She can feel his body heat, he is so close. A warning flashes through his mind that he should leave, but he dismisses it. He is master of the situation, right?

"Of course." Trapped in a corner, agitated and losing her cool, Gina can't concentrate on acting like Hope. This is survival, and Gina can survive only by using her own tools. She lifts her head, looking him straight in the eye. "And as I just said, John, it is classified."

She puts up her hand against his chest, applying slight pressure to motion for him to move, The affect is like a lightening bolt as she takes a short, stifled breath.

"Stop crowding me John, this is quite unnecessary, don't you think?" She throws everything into acting unaffected.

"No, I don't. You have a secret and I intend to know what it is."

"It's none of your concern." with only a desire to escape and be able to breath again, she puts both hands on his chest and pushes with all her might. He looks surprised as he stumbles about two steps backward. She turns to run, but he catches her by the wrists, twirls her around her around and slams her into the wall next to the door, both arms pinned on either side of her head, and her body pinned by his own. She can't breath with his eyes boring into hers just inches from her own. There is a strange glow in them, very close to madness. Then his voice comes soft and gratingly.

"Don't ever try that again!" then seeing the fire in her eyes, matching his own burning hunger, the same memory flash hits him, only this time it is followed by another where he had her pinned just as now, only on the soft confines of a bed. He has lost his ability to breath as the electric current sweeps through him. The he surrenders.

"No!" she breaths, fearing what will come next as she sees him closing the gap. Then his lips are burning on hers, and his right hand leaves her wrist to bury itself in her hair as he pulls her head closer. She opens her mouth bigger to allow him more access, drinking in every taste of him, encircling his waste as she pushes her hands up under his shirt and up his back to his shoulders as his other hand leaves her wrist to roam her body then to lift her leg up to his waste, pulling her harder against him.

A door slams hard downstairs and EJ and Sami's angry voices fill the air. The spell has mercifully been broken as they pull slightly away, fighting for air.

"You have to go Gina, before..." the unspoken thought hangs in the air as they disentangle themselves and she escapes through the door, leaving him with his head resting against the wall.

As she exits through another room's window, expertly climbing down the side of the building, running to her car a block away, he collapses in the study, sitting prodded up against the wall, trying to make sense of the alien feeling of totally losing control

It's only as she starts up her car, trying to catch her breath, that she realizes the impact of his last words. He called her 'Gina'!


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Upon waking up the next morning, Gina is faced with a new problem.

Stefano's shipping documents.

If she doesn't get it to him soon he'll know something is up, and he may just guess it would be John...

She dresses and leaves for the Dimera mansion, but on the way stops at Salem place, to re-group and get over the anxiety of seeing John – again – and this time being able to explain her presence...She needs than damn documents – staying useful to Steffi is the only way she'll have the freedom to live.

She sips at her tea, then feels a hand on her shoulder. She starts. Who can it be? Abe, Roman? She's supposed to be sick in bed, then she feels warm breath in her neck and John's voice whispering, with a threatening note.

"Why don't you just tell me what your up to, Gina?" For a second she is frozen at hearing her name on his lips again, then life returns to her lips.

"Have a seat and perhaps I'll tell you." his hand lingers for another second, while she refuses to turn around. He is too close for comfort, then his hand slips of and he rounds the table.

"Well?" it's so strange to hear him asking the question, yet no eyebrow arches, in fact there is no movement in his face at all. Only his eyes are alive, taking in everything around him.

Then she makes her decision. Truth is all that can save her now. She tilts her head, looking at him from under her lashes.

"Well, what? You are obviously aware of half of my situation."

"Mmm, the Gina half, so why don't you tell me the rest? What were you doing in my house?"

"Looking for Stefano's shipping documents."

"Shipping documents?" he gives a humorless laugh. "You expect me to believe that?"

"It is of no concern to me what you do or not believe." she puts down her cup, stands up and leaves, then feels herself being pulled back rather forcefully by her upper arm.

"Shipping documents?"

"You may not understand this John, but if I am to stay around, and not go back to being Hope, the only way is to stay useful and if Steffi wants his shipping papers, then that is what he gets." She preys his fingers off of her arm and shoves his hand back at him. "Now, if you'll excuse, I am going over to _your_ house to fetch it."

As she reaches her car and get in, she sighs with relieve as she looks back to see him still standing exactly where she had left him, then she starts up the car and drives off, messaging her tender arm.

John moves back to the table and sits down.

"I see what your playing at Steffi, and I won't let you win."

Stefano won't forget his shipping documents, of that he is sure, Rolf will make sure of that. Sending Gina over to the house with her whole existence hanging over her head if she disobeys is just a way to get them together. And he may have been weak last night, but he won't be again. And Gina will definitely not be the one to tell Stefano, she has too much at stake.

He checks his watch, in the meantime, he needs to set the wheels in motion for operation Blondie, and seeing as Stefano will probably return by Friday night, the best place is to have her over to the mansion, and have cook prepare something special. Wine and dine her until Steffi gets home. Perhaps even make love to her? She isn't bad looking, in fact, for her age, she's quite a knock-out.

His plans made, he heads over to the hospital.

* * *

"More wine?" John asks as he pours himself another glass.

"I'm still busy with mine, thanks." Marlena replies taking a sip, thinking with sadness of the papers in her handbag, and at how she still dresses her best at the thought of spending the evening with him. But they have no future, she is finally seeing what everyone else has been telling her. This isn't her John, this man she doesn't know at all, she doesn't even know what he is thinking. And this date, and him wanting to try again? He doesn't even act like a man in love. No, now that his plaything had left town he's just looking for a warm body to fill his bed, that's all there is to it, and even if he doesn't realize it himself, she can feel it. And she refuses to be a substitute. She deserves better.

"What is the point of all this John? What is the point of trying, you don't love me, you don't even know what love is."

Damn woman! The evening is not going at all as he had planned, and he can hear noises in the hallway. No doubt Stefano and Rolf is listening in on every word. He needs to step up his performance, but how is he supposed to act in love when she doesn't show him how. He has nothing to mirror.

He leans forward and takes her hand. Out of the corner of his eye he can see the door move slightly, just big enough for a crack to peep through.

"Your right, I don't know what love is, I don't even know what I am feeling when I am with you, but I know I care for you. I know I never want to see harm come your way." he sighs, slightly with relieve as the clincher comes his way. He saw this one on TV sometime... "All I want, is to see you happy."

He sees tears in her eyes.

"Prove it."

"Just tell me how."

"Sign the divorce papers."

She unfolds the documents and puts a pen on top of them.

"That is the only way I can prove to you that I care? It kind of defeats the purpose." He feels annoyed. Then remembering his audience, he speaks up.

"Fine, I'll sign them – on one condition."

"And what is that?"

"That we start over. You and me, we get to know one another. No pressure on either of us."

The tears in her eyes spill over as she smiles.

"I'd like that."

He picks up the pen and starts signing. Behind the door her hears a muffled sound, sounding like Dammit! And then footsteps.

Round one goes to John Black Dimera. Steffi – zero.

* * *

"I thought you said Gina is infallible. Why did she have to pick now of all times to start obeying my orders?"

"Patience, Stefano. John and Marlena just got divorced, not re-married. There is still lots of time for Gina to spin her web."

"I promised Marlena that she will never have John again! And for all the annoyance John is causing me I want him to lose everything. Even the chance at regaining his former life, with or without his memories."

John frowns behind the door he is eavesdropping behind. It is an alien feeling, hurts his eyes. Perhaps he will be normal someday. He smooths the area that got wrinkled up from the frown. His skin actually hurts with the strain of it. So the key to win this war is to regain his former life, is it? But that means giving up the Dimera empire, half of which is rightfully his. It may give him some time to play with if he let Stefano thinks he is considering it.

But how to go about acting as if he is regaining his former life? Gina will have to help. Perhaps it is time to get Gina in on the game? She can drop pieces of information he wants Stefano to hear, she can even teach him how to at least act human again. But can he chance it? Getting involved with Gina in even the remotest sense can be playing right into Stefano's hands.


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"It's amazing what can happen in two weeks." Bo sighs as he sits back at the precinct.

"Sure is. The mayors assassination, Sami in witness protection, John and Marlena's divorce."

"Funny you should mention that, it's not as if it came as a shock – we could see that coming a mile away. You thinking of getting back together."

"No, I love her, she's my first and truest love, but she needs to be on her own right now. I have no idea what may happen in the future, but for now, I'll keep supporting her."

"Hey, put up the news, the election results should be in any minute now."

They watch the news, then smile and applaud. Then Bo takes out his phone.

"Hey, Lex, can I speak with Abe. Hey, partner, how does it feel to be the new mayor?"

* * *

John light a cigar, then sits back. The salem inn isn't exactly the mansion, but it'll do. All in the name of looking as if he is regaining his former life, but he has no-one to help. Gina avoids him like the plague, there is just no way to get hold of her.

His phone rings, and he answers.

"John here."

"John?"

He sits up, looking interested.

"Gina, you have been avoiding me."

"So? Listen I am just giving you a heads up. Get out of Dimera shipping as fast as you can."

"Did Dimera put you up to this?" he takes a pull from his cigar. Figures. Trust no-one.

"No, our new Mayor. Abe is re-opening the investigation into Dimera shipping by using the cocaine bust as an excuse."

"You're serious?"

"Yes, get out, he means business. The only reason he ran is to have full authority and get at Stefano, and if your smart, you won't be going down with him."

"It's so heartwarming to know you still care, Gina." John replies, dryly.

"Yes, well, I'll probably be saddled with getting him off, but I can fail, can't I? However, I'll need your help, if I do."

"Figures, nothing for nothing, right?"

"Just get control of Rolf. With Steffi out of the way and Rolf unable to do his bidding, I'll have a couple of years before Hopey-dopey comes back." then he hears a click as she hangs up.

She hung up, damn woman! Who does she think she is? He is tempted to call her back and tell her off, but if there is one thing her has a lot of, it is self control. And logic.

He picks up the receiver again, and dials the mansion.

"It's your lucky day, big brother. I'm regaining my former life, piece by piece, and your damn empire is standing in the way of getting what I want. Call EJ and have him set up the papers. I'm signing back over to you."

"I'm not up to anything, well, except perhaps annoying the hell out of you. You can have your company, and I'll be getting back everything you stole from me. And there is nothing you can do to stop me."

He hangs up in much the same way Gina hung up on him.

That'll at least have Stefano furious, as grateful as he may be to be rid of John on the business side of things. And he will sit back and watch the infuriating man self destruct.

He smiles to himself, satisfied.

* * *

John walks out of the Dimera mansion, feeling agitated. That look of triumph on Stefano's face as he signed the papers! It infuriates him beyond anything he had ever felt, but the in the end he'll be the one laughing back at him through jail bars...

Where to now? Salem inn is out, if he had to sit another day in that room he'll go crazy. Loneliness. That's one emotion he knows. It took him a while to identify it, but that is it. And it is not fun, but what is the alternative, go out there and try to function like a normal person. Constantly ignoring the stares when he talks. Dammit, what is it with these people? Don't they know what it is to say what is on their minds? No, of course not, they tip-toe around bloody anything they talk about!

He drives around, aimlessly, his thoughts distorted. It doesn't give him reason to worry, this is as it has been ever since he can remember. The only time his thoughts focus is when he has a goal to work towards. Getting his old life back just to annoy Stefano isn't enough of priority to have that affect... Is it true what they all say? That he is heartless? He spots Gina sipping a cup of tea at Salem place, and stops. Perhaps he can talk to her? But she is giving him the complete cold shoulder. He watches her wipe a drop of tea that spilled over her lips and has a flash of champagne dripping over her face, her shoulders, her bosom, and him pulling her closer, drinking it in, from her skin. He clears his mind, sighs, then drives on. He is getting quite good at that – clearing his mind, he's had a lot of practice since she's been back.

* * *

"How's Hope?" Roman asks Bo as they take a break from poring over the old cocaine bust files.

"Fine, I suppose. She's been so busy lately, with the new job and everything. You've seen her. She's constantly in her office, now and then takes a break, going over to Salem place, and then back to work. In the evenings she's so tired, that we maybe watch an early show on TV before turning in. She's being distant as well, but refuses to talk about it."

"Abe thinks she's doing a good job. Apparently the drug bust last week would never have been possible without her research and input. It'll pass, you'll see, once she gets used to the pressure..."

"Yeah, I know, that's why I haven't said anything. She needs my support now, not more pressure."

They grow quiet as Gina walks in, smiles a little distantly and goes through to her office. Then the door opens again and he head sticks out.

"Call me if you guys see anything interesting in those files. You know how slippery Stefano can be."

Then she disappears again.

"It must be hell of a pressure."

"What?" Bo looks over at Roman questioningly.

"Knowing you will have to be the one to answer if Stefano manages to get away again."

* * *

Gina sighs and sits back.

She feels sorry for the criminals out there Abe wants investigated. What these people don't know is that she knows every trick in the book – after all, she's wanted all over Europe... The drug bust last week was child's play. She laughs softly to herself. If Hope ever returns, she'll have one hell of a reputation to live up to! Then her face sobers up. God, she needs to get out! Using all her tricks of the trade against the criminal minds in Salem is quite a power rush,, but she needs to have some fun. If she doesn't get a break from playing Hope for just one evening, she'll take a hacksaw to the whole place!

She checks the time, then leans forward to pick up the handset of the phone. She'll have to tell Stefano about the new investigation before he hears it from anyone else...

The phone is ringing on the other side, then it stops and he answers.

"John here."

"John?"

"Still avoiding me, tell me, do you really find me that repulsive or is it just that you don't trust yourself around me?" On his side, John feels like slapping himself. What made him say that? Then again, he needs to toy with someone, seeing as he has nothing else to do.

"Flattering yourself John? Must be lonely if you have no-one else to help you with that."

"I'll say." John thinks to himself. Damn woman!

"Are you denying it then?"

"Off course, I've been over you for years... but that is beside the point, I phoned to check if you made your escape." she changes the subject.

"Signed the papers this morning."

"And Steffi knows nothing."

"Off course not."

"Good. I'm phoning him to break the news."

"Prove it."

"Prove what? That I'm phoning him?" John can see in his minds eye how she must look confused at first, and then how she is rolling her eyes. Which is in fact what she is doing as she says it.

"No, that have the guts to join me on a pub crawling spree. I need to get out." he bites his tongue. What the hell made him do that? Invite her, and show weakness. No-one needs to know that he's dying in that damn room!

Gina is silent for a while, then makes up her mind.

"Fine. I need to get out as well – Bo Brady isn't exactly someone I can drag around while trying to have a taste of freedom."

"It's settled then. I'll meet you at the pier, we can take my car from there."

She is staring at the phone in silence before reaching and dialing Stefano's number.

"Stefano."

"Yes, Gina?" he sounds annoyed.

"Abe is opening an investigation into your shipping line."

"What? On what grounds?!"

"The cocaine bust earlier this year."

"Dammit! We'll have to discuss strategy. Not today, EJ is here with Nicole, who happens to be pregnant. Damn gold digger. I'll let you know when the coast is clear." Click.

Gina stares at the receiver. Nicole? That explains why he is so annoyed. Then she smiles. His day may have started out really well, but it must've gone all down hill from there...

* * *

She checks her watch. 6pm.

She grabs her bag, then waltzes out.

"Where's Bo?" Roman looks up.

"Filing room."

She checks her watch again, just for show.

"I''m running home for a bath. I'll be late back tonight. I have a strong lead I'm following so I don't know when I'll be back."

"You shouldn't burn yourself out, you look tired already."

"Don't worry about me, a warm bath and I'm ready for the whatever the night may bring."

Walking out, she goes over the conversation. It's true, she is tired. Tired of pretending to be sweet little Hope. Just one night of freedom, that is all she needs, just to blow off some steam.

* * *

At 7:30 pm she stops her car at the pier. Halfway down the stairs she spots John, he looks up and meets her half way.

He moves around with a steely hand on her upper arm.

"Let's go."

She pulls back.

"Let's get one thing straight. I'm going out tonight to relax, to just be myself and let my hair down – not to get pushed and pulled around by you." They size up each other, then John breaks the silent contest, standing back and holding his hand, palm upwards toward the top of the stairs.

"After you."

"Thank you." she walks up the stairs stiffly, aware of him following close behind.

At the top, they each get into the black, low Porsche.

As he starts up the car, she looks over at him, arching a brow.

"Porsche?"

He shrugs.

"I'm bored, with way too much money, so sue me."

She rolls her eyes, and sits back. The interior is comfortable, but inside she still feels a little wound up. His presence is filling the whole car. That magnetism that has been so part of him since he came back is smothering her.

Nearly a half an hour later at a very high speed, he pulls into a pub that looks more like a place where teenage "goths" would meet than a respectable place.

They get out and look the place over.

"Our fist stop." he motions with his hands as they walk closer.

Out of the confines of the car, and away from Salem, Gina suddenly feels an excitement bubbling. She spins around with her arms spread wide, takes a deep breath and smiles.

"Ah! Just what I need, freedom, completely incognito."

Her happiness and the glow that illuminates as she gives a genuine smile in weeks hits him like a lightening bolt.

God, she's beautiful!

She turns to him, and saunters over, and puts her hand on his chest, then looks up at him.

"Truce?"

He tilts her head back.

"Truce."

"You won't be sorry." she playfully pokes him on the chest, then twirls around, then half way to the door, she swings around.

"So? Are you coming?"

He gives half a smile, then follows, as he reaches her she starts pulling him after her, as if to rush him along.

"Let's go have some fun."


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Once inside, they survey the gloomy area. Smoke is hanging thickly over the interior and youths in Gothic clothing hang around with droopy eyes. Rock music is playing in the background, loud enough to create an ambiance, soft enough to talk over. Gina arches an eyebrow, as she looks over at John. He is also surveying the area.

They order themselves some drinks, some strange looking cocktail the kid behind the counter recommended, and then find themselves some non-sticky seats.

"This crowd makes me feel old...."Gina observes sipping.

"You're telling me." John agrees.

Then making a decision, Gina throws back her drink, slamming the glass back on the table. John jumps.

"Careful with that."

She gets off of the high chair and saunters around him, then leaning over him her face only inches from his, she speaks, her eyes gleaming from the impact of the unknown drink.

"Whatever for, John? You're driving."

He lifts his glass to his lips, almost seeking refuge in the drink. Her face so close by his is making him contemplate doing things he promised himself he'll never do again. As he sips, Gina lifts the glass at the bottom, forcing him to down the full glass.

"Good, now that you're done, we can get out of this dump." She takes his hand and pulls him after her, he pulls her back with such force that she stumbles back against him. He puts his hand around her face, pulling her cheek closer against his own face, until she can feel his breath playing over her skin, she can feel the repressed strength in his arm muscle where her hands are pulling at his arm to free her. She wants to run away and succumb at the same time.

"Never, ever, tell me what to do..." his voice is low and threatening in her ear. The words came out harsher than he intended, but she's playing havoc on his emotions. It feels like he has no control over the situation, as if the tidal wave that is Gina has bowled him over and is now pulling him in according to her own tides. He releases her slowly, realizing that he himself is his own worst enemy, not her.

As she feels herself being released, Gina turns around. She knew he was different, but it never occurred to her, that he is so different, he could perhaps even hurt her. Then looking into his eyes, she saw a glimmer of menace, then fear, before the curtain closed over his soul again. She knows only one way to deal with these types of situations – charm.

She puts her hand on his chest, and looks up at him, pouting.

"John, please, let's get out of this dump, I can't stand this boring place, with it's dirty doped-up teenagers and that boring music being played." She draws back a bit, both her hands on his chest, her face now mischievous, imploring him to surrender to her wishes. "I want to go have some fun!" she pokes him lightly with her fingers, as she see an indulgent smile starting to form on his face. "Come on John! Let's go..." she grows quiet for second while she thinks, then twirls around, landing against his chest, and taking his hand again. "Let's go dancing!"

His hand tightens around hers as he feels himself going soft, his resolve crumbling.

"How on earth is anyone suppose to resist her?" he wonders, already feeling his legs starting to follow her into the general direction of the door. 'She truly is the most exciting woman I have ever met."

* * *

Torment.

This is what they call torment, John thinks to himself, his face steely and unreadable, making sure that he doesn't betray the emotions he is feeling, as he turns Gina, moving to the fast paced music at nightclub for a more mature crowd at the next town. He steps back as he turns her the other way, then pulls her back into his arms to throw in a couple of steps that ends up rocking their bodies in a rather sensual rhythm together. He pushes her away and turns her again, in an attempt to stop the growing hunger it generates, at the end of the song he pulls her back in his arms, and with his hand on her chest tips her backwards until she straightens again, landing with both her hands on his chest, breathlessly, on the last powerful cord of the song. Her eyes are shining with exhilaration.

He leads her back to the table, and orders himself a double scotch on the rocks and a martini for her. His head is reeling with the mix of alcohol and excitement.

He looks up to see her looking at him with a devilish smile and her head cocked to the one side.

"So? Are still mad with me, or do you agree that I have been right?" She asks, referring to her pleading him earlier to leave the Gothic teen hangout.

"You were right, this is much more fun." he agrees, then as the waiter brings their drinks, he lifts his to a toast.

"Salutè." he says in Italian.

"Salutè." she clinks her glass to his, with a nod of her head and a genuine smile.

"I needed this." Gina sits back, and gestures with her hands, making a circle, indicating the whole club. "Getting away..." then she sits forward and takes John's hand. The electrifying sensation it causes him, almost makes him pull his hand back. Then he looks up into her face, and sees that her face has lost the mischievous grin, and is now serious.

"Thank you. I'm sure you also needed to get away, get out with some one who won't judge you, and I sincerely hope that I had made a difference, however, I must thank you for this... wonderful opportunity...to let my hair down."

Seeing the sincerity in her eyes, makes him feel grateful that he didn't pull his hand away.

"Now it's my turn to thank you, Gina."

She laughs.

"For what? Bulldozing you out of that dump?"

There is no smile on his face, as he battles to put into words what he is feeling.

"No, for... treating me like a normal human being."

Gina looks surprised, then lifts an eyebrow.

"But you are a human John, a man, and having no memories don't make you less of a person. I've been there, and it can be frightening not knowing anything about your life, however..." she picks up her glass to take a taste of her drink, then continues while lighting up a cigarette, "it can be very liberating not having all these preconceived ideas about what life is supposed to be." Then she shakes her head, her ringlets hair shaking with the motion, then she smiles, shrugging. "Do not take to heart to much of what I'm saying, I'm just feeling trapped with all Hope's life's restrictions, and maybe I had little too much of these" She pushes her martini into the air then finishes the last bit.

Realizing that he is still holding her hand, he releases it as he mulls over her words.

Then he speaks up slowly while signaling to the waiter to bring them each another drink.

"Perhaps it is liberating in a way, but.... having no emotions, or no, I won't say I have no emotions... not being able to understand what emotion you are feeling, that is not liberating at all. In my life there is only one thing that I understand. Survival, power, having control. Being in control is what keeps my sane."

The waiter places their new drinks in front of them then discreetly disappears.

She ashes, thinking about what he says.

"That's sad, really, you cannot have control ALL the time, then you'll never have any fun... "she lifts her hands skywards, "experience life..." Then her mind wonders back to the submarine, and without thinking talks, "... experience love or at least the expression there of..."

He sips his drink, their thoughts and conversation so honest and serious that the sensual affect it could create doesn't register with either. He thinks back to his time with Ava. Okay, so it wasn't love, not even really lust, he knew he had a need for a release, and he took it. And he stayed in control, he was the master of the situation, and she was eager enough to let him have the control.

He shakes head, without realizing then speaks up.

"I beg to differ. You can make love and not loose control."

Gina looks at him, suddenly feeling very sad for his sake.

"You are unawakened, then, and it really is sad. Losing control when making love is being alive, and you still have a long way to go before being fully alive."

At her words, a blind fury takes hold of him, and he slams down his empty glass.

"What do you know?! You said yourself that you don't judge me, and yet now you want to tell me that I do not live? That I'm unawakened, as you put it." He jumps up, going out the nearest door to the balcony.

Gina follows him and swings him around to face her.

"Yes, I'm saying that, and I am not judging you. You need to learn that controlling everything around you leaves little room for change, for growth... How do you expect to feel anything ever again, if you don't open yourself up to it." she bounces back at the rage in his eyes, then decides to push on. If he doesn't want to loose control, she'll make him, dammit! She grabs his hand and pushes it against his chest. "Feel your heart beating like this, getting angry is losing control, feel how your body is getting hot, and how you strain to breath. This is living!"

He pushes her away, and hangs onto the railing, cursing her under his breath, fighting to gain control of himself, then turns back, his face unreadable again.

"All I have is my control." the simple way in which he states the sentence, and the quick way he had undone what she had done, makes her feel as if she can just reach out and slap him, instead, her eyes narrow as she walks closer to him.

"Control this." then she pulls his head down and kisses him, forcing his lips apart with her tongue. She can feel his restraint and the way his breathing goes completely rigged, trying to hold back. In his mind hundreds of tiny warning bells go off telling him to just push her away and leave, but he can't get his arms to give more restraint than the gentle push on her shoulders. His breathing seizes and his whole body feels like pinpricks, then all his carefully build control breaks as he pushes his hands into her hair and pulls her closer as he fires back with a more fierce assault on that damn mouth that's been teasing him all night. It's like an explosion in Gina's mind as she suddenly feels herself being pulled closer, and her kisses being answered with a more intense heat than she remembers him to possess. He pulls her head back by her hair and leaves her gasping for air, as he takes his lips from hers, and pulls at her jawline with his teeth before moving onto the crook of her neck. Her whole body's on fire, and in his fevered mind John wonders if the air around them has suddenly turned hot, as he can feel the heat making him feel lightheaded. Without a clear thought he wonders where the nearest space is for him to throw her down on.... Somewhere in Gina's own fevered mind a little voice tells her that she's playing with fire, that forcing him to abandon himself to her has affectively forced her to do the same to herself.

"I want you..." his whisper envelopes her in a cloud of euphoria, so thick all she can answer, is "Yes...yes, John, yes..." She pulls his head closer into her bosom where her top's straps had at some point been pulled down by him, and his moist tongue had found a small tender spot just an inch or so from the still-covered, burning-hot nipple. There is a roaring in her ears, and drops falling on her hot skin, slowly it comes through to her clouded mind that it is raining. She pulls his face up to hers, and through dropping kisses on his jawline, she whispers.

"Not here, it's raining." Slowly her words sink in, and a detached part of John's mind wonders how it is anyway possible to feel this hot with rain soaked through to his clothing. At his incredulous look as he looks up into the rain, smiling for the first time, she can't help giggling, as she pulls him back inside, out of the rain.

He looks over to the table and the curious onlookers, then drops a couple of hundred dollar bills on the table, then grabs her purse and steers her out the door, saying.

"Let's duck."


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Back in the car, the atmosphere is strained. Him battling to come to terms with the fact that she so easily got him to loose control, she wondering how all this will end. It's still there. He doesn't even remember her existence, and yet the spark is still alive... She thinks back to the time, a couple of months ago when he questioned Hope about the "spine-shattering" sex they had on the submarine...

Why on earth did he question her about it? Did some one really tell – a little birdie as he put it, or is there more to it? Did he remember something? Then she starts laughing softly... She still owes him an answer...

"What? What's so funny..." with his nerves in tatters and his temper starting to rise the more he berates himself over letting go of his self control so easily, he had managed to convince himself that she is laughing at him.

"Yes, it was hot!"

"What...when... now?" he sounds confused.

"You asked Hope a couple of months ago if we had fun on the submarine, and then assumed that it was hot, well, it was..."

Damn woman! He thinks to himself. With one little sentence she had managed to recreate the whole thing in his mind, rekindle the heat in his loins...

Will it really be such a big deal if he gave in, just once, to feel her softness envelope him, hear her screaming his name from underneath him, with her nails raking down his back, just once? One more time?

He clears his throat as he tries to clear his mind, then he speaks up.

"Where to now?"

She sighs, not yet ready to return to Hope's world.

"I don't know.... I'm soaked, I can't very well walk into the Brady house, and let Bo see me like this..." she pulls at her soaked top where it is clinging to her abdomen.

"Are you trying to get me to invite you to my room at Salem inn?"

"Are you looking for an excuse to do so?" she counters.

He shrugs.

"Perhaps."

"Why?" she plays with her finger on his shirts button, slowly slipping her finger between them to lightly touch the hairs on his chest. "So you can throw me down onto your bed and ravage me like there's no tomorrow?" her silky voice, turns his resolve to liquid as he imagines in his mind's eye what she is proposing.

"Well, you can't exactly sit around naked, waiting for your cloths to dry, when there are better ways to spend our time?" his voice betrays none of the inner turmoil she had unchained inside him.

Her eyes darken at the prospect, and she needs to catch her breath as she realizes what they are planning? What will it be like, making love to John, after all these years? What would it be like, making love to this new John, who in ways remind her of his manner so long ago, but is as unpredictable as a hurricane? Will it be the same sweet passionate moments they used to share, or hungry and feverish as the kisses they shared on the balcony. She always thought that their lovemaking cannot be more intense, she was wrong, it can be much, much worse, with a heat threatening to consume her completely.


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

With the time coming closer, she suddenly loses her nerve, she pulls her hand back, and turns in her seat to face him.

"Let's get something to eat first, my head's reeling from all the drinks we had..."

He shoots a look over to her side, silently relieved. Is this fear? Or nerves? He doesn't know what to call the knot in the pit of his stomach. He has this intense sensation that he is standing on a cliff and that when he lets go, he'll fall right over and will never be able to return, unscathed.

They stop at a teenage hangout and walk past the shops looking for a take-out place that is still open. Gina looks up to see a tattoo parlor.

John immediately follows her train of thought.

"Your not thinking...."

She swings round to him.

"Of course I am. What's wrong, can't your self control handle a little needle?"

His eyes narrow as he tries to resist the challenge in her goading. Then he fails.

"Of course I can handle it!"

She lifts an eyebrow as she doubts him, then sets off towards the parlor. John follows at a distance, wondering why he cannot resist the excitement she projects.

Once there, Gina sees a perfect rose, about two inches in length, and falls in love immediately. She points it out to the guy behind the counter.

"Where do you want it?" the youth with the colorful hammock asks her.

"Somewhere where it won't be too visible."

"I can tat it to yur ass if you like."

She lifts an eyebrow.

"I don't think so. How about..." she tries to think of a place that Hope's damn work cloths will hide... " What about here?" she points to a place just where the swell of her left breast begins, thinking that a well chosen bikini can still hide it, but it's not too on her breast for Bo to be too offended, if she ever decides to let him get that close. This way she can still blame it on an under cover stunt done for work. Mercifully they don't work on the same cases any more, many of the stuff she works on is a little more classified – like the drug bust she did the week before.

"And you, mister?" The youth throws at John who had been silently appraising the situation.

"Oh, never mind him, he doesn't have the guts." Rage fills him as his eyes lock with Gina's.

If he has to get a tattoo, it might as well be one that has some meaning. He had a phoenix before, they told him, that had been surgically removed. This was somewhere on his shoulder.

"A phoenix. Have you got good ones?"

As Gina bites down on a handkerchief, to keep from crying out, the youth got her top pulled up just enough to do his job, John finds the perfect phoenix. Wings stretched out, fire leaping at it's feet.

"You want some color on that?" The youth asks after wiping the drool that formed on the side of his mouth as he had been concentrating.

"Some red on the petals." Gina states in a soft voice, after un-clenching her jaw.

"If I do the petals now, the color'll bleed."

"Perfect, just blend it well." Gina re-rolls the handkerchief, and clenches on it again. Another guy comes through the back door, with a big heavily tattooed guy.

"Thanks, Jimmy." the guys says, as the Jimmy person drops the money in the till, then faces John.

"What'll it be mister?"

John looks over to Gina to see if she has any new smart remarks, but her eyes are closed, her jaw still clenching the handkerchief, and tears are slowly running down the sides of her face. Stubborn woman. Then he faces the youth and hands him the file with the picture he selected.

"This one, across my shoulder blades."

"Sure, thing, that'll be perfect. When you move your arms it will look like the wings are moving as well. Any color?"

"No, plain black."

He follows the youth into the back.

Minutes later, clenching his jaw and clearing his mind from the pain, he can hear the till being operated out front.

"John?" It's Gina's voice, unmistakable, no one says his name they same way she rolls it around her tongue...

He grunts, not knowing if she can hear him. He assumes that she did as she continues.

"I'm fetching us some Chinese, I'll be back." Another grunt in response.


	10. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

"Don't you think Hope is acting strangely?" Bo asks Roman across the desk at the precinct. Roman looks up, and puts down his pen.

"Strange how? She has been under a tremendous amount of pressure..."

Bo frowns, rubbing his face.

"Yee-ah.... I know, but..." he sits forward prompting Roman to do the same, "...she came home this morning around three, and she smelled like she had been drinking, and... and... I smelled mens cologne on her clothing."

Roman frowns, then shakes his head.

"This is Hope we're talking about, she's not gonna sneak of with some man, I'm sure it's work related. Undercover work, or perhaps trying to just hold her own with the big boys. I wouldn't worry about it."

The both sit back, Bo still frowning.

"Yeah, your probably right."

* * *

Gina stifles another yawn, writing her final report on the drug bust the previous week. She should've came in a bit later, sleep in a bit, but then again, the quicker this report is handed in, she can start looking for a more interesting case. She smiles to herself, then stifles another yawn, being on this side of the law can be fun when you know every trick there is.

Then the phone rings.

"Commissioner Brady."she sings into the receiver.

"Gina, I need you over here. Now!"

"Steffi? Is something wrong."

"No matter. Just be here." Click.

Gina stares at the receiver then replaces it, rolling her eyes.

"What ever can be wrong now?" She grabs her jacket and sends the report through to filing. Then she heads out, not even looking in Bo and Roman's direction, looking very annoyed.

"See what I mean.. Pressure, that's all it is." Roman states.

* * *

Gina rings the doorbell at the Dimera household, and almost immediately the door opens. Nicole and EJ looks startled to see her.

"Hope? Is there any problems."

She shakes her head.

"No, well, not yet, we'll still see.."

"Well, see you." Nicole hastily pulls EJ after her. "We're late for a doctor's appointment..."she calls over her shoulder.

Gina rolls her eyes, then enters and closes the door behind her, as she walks into the living room she takes off her jacket, to find John and Stefano glowering at one another.

"There is nothing you can do John. Half of Dimera shipping is now yours. Legally, the only way you can get rid of it is to sell, and I doubt you'll be able to find a seller." Then Stefano looks up, looking pleased.

"Ah, our new Commissioner, you are just in time to know that your investigation will now include our dear old John here. So if I go down, you..." and he turns to John, "go down right along with me."

Gina lifts an eyebrow and decide to do a Hope Brady impression of note. Steffi mustn't know that John is aware of her...situation.

"Of course John has to be included in the investigation, after all the drugs were on his ship at the time..."

"Who do you think your fooling Gina?" Stefano walks forward, looking menacing.

Gina takes a step back, he knows? No, he is trying to get her to betray herself. He couldn't know.

She does her best shocked impression.

"Really, Stefano, I think you are suffering from delusions. Gina is dead."

"Nonsense." Stefano raises his voice. One way or another Gina will get closer to John and play into his hands, and if she decided to be a good girl and stay away from John, he will just have to enlighten John to the situation, and have them work closely together, making it impossible for Gina not to have an affect on him.

"You tipped him off, didn't you? That is why John so conveniently signed his part of the company over to me."

"You have no idea what you're talking about Stefano... I had no idea John wasn't part of the company anymore."

John walks over until he is about midway from both of them. The one good thing about not having any facial expressions, is you don't need to know how to act.

"What the hell is going on here."

"Please, John... You can drop the act."

"What act. And why are you calling Hope Gina?"

Stefano raises an eyebrow. "You truly have no idea?"

John swings to him – "How am I supposed to? You made sure that I have to learn everything from hearsay and other people's memories." The accusation hangs thickly in the air between them.

Stefano shrugs, then offers John a cigar. Then to Gina.

"No thanks, I'll stick to my own. You've really done it now. You might as well tell him." Gina frowns as she lights up a cigarette. Things aren't going her way at all. Now things will just go back to how it was all those years ago, back under Stefano's control for both of them... Then again, they never really escape it, did they?

"Here is the deal – the short version, I'll let Gina fill you in on the details, Hope is gone, the woman standing in front of you is Princess Gina von Amberg, and she is the only person who can save us now, so I suggest you help her with anything she needs to get this operation looking as legit as is possible."

John takes a pull from his cigar.

"Another brainwashed victim of yours? Figures. What do you need?" he directs the question to Gina.

"Accounting books stretching the last ten years." Gina answers, a little unwillingly, then follows John who motions to her to follow him. She shoots a deadly look over her shoulder at Stefano.

* * *

In the study John switches on the computer, takes the chair behind it and pulls an ashtray closer. Gina goes to sit in the end of the desk next to him, able to see the screen clearly.

She stubs out a cigarette, frowning.

"Do you also get the sense that Steffi planned this?"

John looks up, waiting for the software to load.

"Off course he did..." then he sits back, deciding to let her in on what he has been over hearing, "he promised Blondie that she'll never have me, and decided that you are just the person to make that happen."

Things are starting to become clear. Stefano has been sending her over here at all hours, hoping for her to run into him.

"Well, we won't give him the satisfaction." she frowns crossly, her lips set in an angry line.

"Right, it'll be that easy." John's sarcasm brings a warm glow inside her. "You know what makes me feel like I can bash in his head, is that he knows exactly how to play with our minds. I know what his plan is, and the only way to defeat him is to get back the life he took from me, or at least to make it seem that way, and still I go... rendezvousing with you."

Gina leans over, a teasing look on her face.

"Oh, but your the king of self control, remember?"

"Well, that was the plan, but you just have a way of interfering with my plans." John accuses.

Gina sits back, an excitement bubbling inside her. He has had the guts to admit it to her face, but it cannot be. He is not her John. Her John is gone – and also he never was her John, he was the real Princess' lover, and she'll do good to remember that. Perhaps if she keeps reminding herself, they can still win Stefano at his own game...

"Yes, well, I promise to be a good girl from now on."

"You know how to do that?" Then John turns his attention back to the screen.

"We're using Accpac. Rolf has been doing the accounts all these years. I don't know how good his skills are at covering up things."

"Not very good, trust me on that. I know him well enough to know his little secrets..." Gina says it matter-of-factly as if it is nothing out of the ordinary.

The she pushes at his shoulder.

"C'mon, let me take over here, then you go out and go make like you are getting old life back on track. Oh, and John..." he turns back to her, his shoulders erect, his face unreadable, and she feels a stab of pain, it may only be the real princess' feelings lingering, but when he looks at her like that, she wants to just pull him closer, pull his face down to hers.... She dismisses the thought.

"You'll have to come for classes later to act more like the old John, that'll throw Steffi right over the edge.

"Sure thing."

Gina stares at the screen for another couple of minutes not seeing anything. Steffi will probably turn her back into Hope once he is done with her, unless he has another problem to solve. Perhaps pushing John into Marlena's arms, as painful as it may be, will keep her around longer, until Steffi gets fed-up and gives her orders to go after him point-blank... And if she succeeds, will he keep her around to ensure John stays away from Marlena? The whole concept is too painful to contemplate. She still wants him, for herself.... She still thinks back to the time when she tried so desperately to get him to remember her, or at least, the real Gina. She feels sympathy towards Marlena, she had been there before, she knows the desperation, the pain, the feeling of helplessness, thinking that the next thing may be the key, then trying something new. She shakes her head to get rid of the memories and emotions. She lost her head then, her perspective. She isn't the real Gina, and she will not turn out like her. Not because of a man. Even if it is John Black, now with an added Dimera edge....

* * *

Gina returned to the precinct at three in the afternoon, and by five when it was time for Bo to knock off she stopped him.

"Fancy face? Is everything okay?" he looks at her, and sees her tired eyes looking back at him.

"Perfectly fine, I just think all the late nights are taking there toll. I was thinking... what if we rather left my car at the precinct and I drive home with you tonight. If I need my car, it'll be here tomorrow." Gina's voice is tired, all she can think of is a hot bath and a good sleep. The late night with John left her slightly hung-over, her day with Steffi and John left her emotionally drained, and the fact that she had finally admitted to herself that no matter what she thinks or feels or remembers, biologically she is not, and will never be, Gina, also took it's toll. That, and she has to admit that she's not exactly getting younger...

"Of course, Fancyface."

Bo puts his arm around her, and together they leave the precinct.

A few minutes later Bo peers over at the passenger seat as he is not getting a response from her. Then he smiles. She's asleep. A little snore escapes as she breaths. Parking the car, he shakes his head, as he touches her hair ever so slightly. Then he gets out, climbs out and rounds the car.

John Black watches from the shadows as Bo carries his sleeping wife into the house.


	11. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

"No, no, no!" Gina sighs impatiently, "Can't you feel the muscles in here..." she taps John's head in frustration, then pulls at his eyebrow. " In here, there where you feel the stinging, contract those muscles. Like this." Gina lifts her eyebrow, not in amusement but as a demonstration.

John opens his eye even wider.

"God!" Gina exclaims, throwing her hands up in the air, and turning away from him, to light a cigarette.

It's a week later, most of Dimera shipping's accounts and records had been altered by Gina, and Stefano with his keen mind is going over every possible angle, contacts and activity that may be a liability. Gina has been giving John the promised lessons for the last three hours.

"Gina?"

"What?!" Gina swings around, very much annoyed, only to look into John's very much amused face and – arching eyebrow!

"Yes! God! Thank you! Finally, we're getting somewhere!" she rejoices, pulling his head down and planting a kiss on the infamous eyebrow that she's been working on for the past couple of hours.

"Now do it again."

John starts smiling – smiling, like she hasn't seen him doing for almost a year, then he wiggles both his eyebrows and finishes of the performance with a Mexican wave starting on his left brow and working it's way to the right.

"Success!"

"I feels weird." he observes, playing around with his eyebrows, like a kid who learned a new trick.

"You'll get used to it – so much so, you won't even realize you are doing it." Gina states, pulling out a bottle of champagne. "Open it, so we can celebrate." She pushes the bottle against his chest, and as he takes it from her, she rounds him, her hand trailing over his upper body, until, on tiptoe she gushes in his ear. "I'm proud of you." Then she saunters over the couch and sits down with a flourish.

"I truly am good, if I say so myself." she leans back, content, then looks around pouting. "You really need to get an interior decorator."

"For the moment, Salem inn will have to do." John shrugs, uncorking the champagne and pouring them each a glass. He turns around with them and motions for Gina to join him, handing her a glass. Gina holds her glass close to her face, tilting her head to one side, and raising her eyebrow..

"To you." she simply states, holding her glass towards him.

"No, "he lifts in eyebrow, giving her a mischievous grin that makes it obvious that he is still concentrating on doing it, "To us, taking on Stefano."

She smiles, clinking their glasses.

"To us then."

As she sips she reflects on the deja vu feeling that he inspires, without even remembering. It is almost like starting over. Just like the first time between the real Gina and John, the spark is there, and they constantly, consciously try to act like it isn't, playing the parts assigned to them. Partners in crime.

The emotion is over whelming, Gina suddenly feels weak with nostalgia. She turns away, and goes to the window to look out. Inside her, her emotions are in such turmoil, she cannot identify the sadness she feels within. Then his hands rests warmly on her shoulder.

"Gina?" there is a hoarseness in his voice that she remembers so well. He turns her around. He has no idea why he turned her towards him, he has no words. Instead he just says her name again, while lifting her face to look into her eyes. She keeps her eyes, averted, the pushes his hand away, and pushes past him.

"I have to go."

He catches her by the wrist and pulls her back.

"Why?"

"Because it will never work. It can never work." She knows she's babbling. She turns her wrist free, grabs her purse and makes for the door. As she opens the door, his greater force suddenly slams it closed from behind her. She leans with her head against the door, refusing with every fiber in her body to turn around. The heat from his body filters through her clothing and into her skin. His mere presence is making her head spin.

"Why not?"

"Because you can remember any day, or never, because you will be taken away from me again, as surely as we are standing here. Because I'm not Gina. I'm just an impostor operating on her memories..."

He swings her around violently, his eyes boring into hers.

"Who cares about all that. All we have is the present. My past is a mystery, yours a jumble of lives, our futures are as certain as any other person's. We could all die tomorrow."

Her breath has died in her throat, listening to the wisdom of John Black. He makes it sound so simple. She closes her eyes as she exhales, leaning her head back into his hands, now encircling her head. As John lowers his head, a little voice tells him to stop, everything will be lost, if he doesn't. His body doesn't respond to his thoughts, instead he presses his lips against her soft ones. She feels his lips burning on hers.

"How on earth is it possible to experience so much physical torture from a simple kiss, a peck, not even more?" Gina wonders, then inhales sharply as his hands pulls her with more force. As her lips open with shock, John dives in, without thought, it's like his mouth and tongue has a life of their own. Warm, moist tongues collide, and then he breaks the kiss, pulling her head back by her hair. The intensity was about to burn him up alive, so instead, he gets hold of her ear lobe, then moves onto her neck, right in front of her earlobe. As her breathing become more rapid and his restraint weakens, she pulls his head up again to capture his lips with her own. He buries his hands deeper in her hair, pulling her around, and pushing her over the side of the couch until they fall onto it's soft confines. Gina opens her eyes as he pulls his hands from her hair, rubbing down over her shoulder and pulling the thin strap of her top down in one smooth motion, only for her eyes to roll back in sockets and close again, as he moves his lips down to the start of the mount of her breast. Her own hands wander over his back, pulling up his shirt, to roam the strong muscles of his back and shoulder blades. His own hands journey down from her strap to push her breast up in an effort to get access to more of the mount, then it roams down the side of her body to stop on her hip to pull her closer, then to her leg that is pressed into the couch by his body. He pulls it free and Gina swings it around his waist pushing herself closer. He captures her hand on his shoulder and pushes it back against the couch above her head, signifying total dominance, before his hand roams back down the length of her arm. The they tumble over onto the floor, Gina pulls his shirt free and over his head, then leaning forward she pushes her hands against his chest as they move up and onto his shoulder, to encircle his head, as their lips meet again. John can feel his breathing becoming ragged, and his hands that were pulling at her hips once again pulls her face even closer. The limited access to her body frustrates him, as he groans then rolls her over onto the carpet. Blindly he starts removing her jeans, and then as he pulls them free he captures her leg with his hand and softly bites into the soft flesh just above the inside of her knee. Gina squirms with the sensation. As she moves upwards she starts as his warm breath crosses over her groin and his warm tongue starts to explore her naval, moving upwards. He curses softly under his breath as he encounters another obstacle in her top, which he almost violently discards of. Gina pushes him backwards to get at his own jeans and fumbling with unseeing eyes, her skin burning from his touches, she finally gets rid of it. He pulls her down again, and as he rolls her over, pushing against her, her fevered mind registers that their undergarments have at some point been discarded of as well. His hand on her breast, there legs pushing at one another, his hand traveling up to her face, his thumb pulling at her bottom lip, her eyes blind with passion. He gently kisses the small rose under her breast, thinking how special that little rose is to him, her hands roaming his back, exploring his muscles, in her fevered mind she registers bumping against something, then she sees the big, oval mirror toppling over and rolling off the side, coming to a standstill against the door, with fascination she looks into her own fevered eyes, then to the phoenix on his back, the wings spread over his shoulder blades looking as if they're flapping as his hands roam up and down her already sleek and wet body. She'll never forget that image as long as she lives, she thinks feverishly as she closes her eyes again, lying back and arching her back, until she can feel him probing at her entrance. She pulls at his buttocks with her hands, his lips against her neck, his ragged breathing in her ear. Then as his resistance breaks, she feels him entering her wildly, groaning, and a moan escapes her lips, as he thrusts, she pulls his head up, and their mouths collide in feverish kisses. She can feel her whole body coming alive, wanting more and more, he pushes harder and harder, hoping for more, more of her. Then as it feels as if her head will explode with the intensity of the wave rocking through her body, and her fingers raking over his shoulder blades, he groans wondering if his body will be able to handle the explosion within, if he'll survive the jolt traveling through his heart and brain.

The rooms is quiet for a few minutes, then Gina's voice, softly whispering.

"John?" she can feel herself wanting to fall asleep.

"At peace." is all she hears as he drifts off to sleep. Giving up fighting the amazing feeling pulling her under, she sighs as she fall off to sleep as well.


	12. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

"It can't be! You are lying to me…" Marlena Evans' voice climbs with desperation. The private detective she hired sitting across from her, is managing to look helpless and smug, at the same time…

"Afterwards they fell asleep, but I have a recording of them discussing the whole cover up this morning. Stefano Dimera won't know what hit him… I brought all the recordings and photographs with if you want too see them."

Marlena's head snaps back as if she's been slapped.

"No!" she whispers hoarsely, she know what she needs to know, the cover up, the police investigation being controlled by Stefano Dimera, making everything look above board, and the woman involved is sleeping with her husband! Okay, ex husband. The last thing she needs is to see the photographs of John with this other woman.

"Perhaps you know the person."

"If I do, I don't want to know… We'll take all these evidence through to Stefano Dimera – he'll give me my John back, or they will all go to jail, even John if it has to – he has been playing me, all this time, pretending to want to get back together, when in fact…" Her voice trails, and again she hears the investigator's voice…

"_I ain't never seen two people more hungry for each other…I very nearly starting jerking off, takin' those photo's…"_

Her lips set in an angry line, Marlena motions for the PI to join her, as she gets back in her car to head over to the Dimera mansion.

* * *

"Well done, well done." Stefano Dimera raises a glass to John and Gina, "to a job well done… It is almost like the good, old days…"

He turns his back to them to pour them each a celebratory drink, at that moment, Gina feels John's tongue flicking at her earlobe, and his breath. When do you think we can get outa' here…" he whispers, a finger trailing up her arm to her shoulder. His intention, clear as a bell, creating a shiver of excitement running up Gina's spine.

Stefano turns back, handing them their drinks.

"Salutè!" they agree, and clink. To Gina it feels like they have gone back in time, Stefano toasting their success, herself and John hoping to get away as soon as possible, fantasizing about what they'll do to one another when given the chance of being alone…

"Well, Gina, you certainly have not lost your touch… These reports are done so thoroughly, even a handwriting expert will not be able to find a shadow out of place in it…"

Gina smiles: "Off course, Steffi, I _am_ the best at what I do, after all…"

"Touché. And I have a surprise for you, both of you, I am sending you to Naples for the weekend – all expenses paid…"

Gina rolls her eyes – Steffi couldn't have been more obvious if he wrote in capital letters on the wall "I want you to reconnect, as part of my revenge on the Brady's and Marlena"

"Well, I didn't expect that! Seems I have some plans to make…" She finishes her drink, and sets down the glass with a flourish. "I have to get back to the station, get the report in and the case officially closed, so we can be on our way…"

She gives Stefano a kiss on each check, then turns to John.

"I'll see you to the door."

In the entrance hall, John peers back to the living room, Stefano is now on the phone.

"I'll see you in Naples, Riveirra Capri?." Then he leans forward, and lifts her chin with one finger, and gives her a long bone-melting kiss. Slightly dazed from the impact, she smiles back, before leaving.

* * *

"Where is Hope off to?" Roman asks as Bo joins him at the desk, after saying goodbye to his wife.

"The Dimera case didn't turn up anything. It's closed. She's going to Naples to follow a lead that may lead to a new investigation."

"A new lead?" Roman looks intrigued.

"Ye-ah." Bo pushes his hand through his hair, "She didn't say what about, said she's following a hunch, might be nothing…"

* * *

Standing in front of the plane, Gina suddenly feels nervous, while boarding. This thing with John, can only end badly, they have no future, and yet, she cannot stop herself, as her feet leads her onto the plain and to her seat. John is taking another airline – they didn't even need to discuss it, before they always traveled separately, leaves less of a trail, if some one might be interested in sniffing around…

Her mind wonders back to the previous night. She is still scared, she knows that she will get hurt, but John's logic is still running around in her mind…

"_Who cares about all that? All we have is the present. My past is a mystery, yours a jumble of lives, our futures are as certain as any other person's. We could all die tomorrow."_

She sighs, then remembered his kisses, his caresses and a low ache starts deep within her. Did she honestly think she was strong enough to deny herself this? As badly as it will end, as much as she is going to hurt when this is all over, she still can't stay away…

* * *

"Rolf? They are off? Both of them?"

"Yes, Stefano, bose of them…"

"And you will confirm once they land and meet up?"

"Yes, Stefano."

"Ah, the taste of success is so close…" Stefano lifts his glass and salutes into the air.

"I am glad you think so, Stefano – that will make what I have to say so much sweeter." Stefano quirks an eyebrow, and turns to face Marlena in the doorway, accompanied by a guy in a brown coat, that can only be a private investigator.

"Marlena, welcome, can I pour you a drink?"

"Oh, wipe that smirk off you face. You are changing John back, tonight!"

"Oh, and what makes you think that is going to happen?"

"This." Marlena motions for the PI to hand Stefano a copy of his report.

Stefano takes out and reads it – a tale of John and an unidentified female, covering Dimera shipping's tracks under Stefano's strict instructions, as well as details about their relationship….Everything about the last three weeks, since Gina's resurrection. Everything, except her identity. He looks shocked. He has been trying everything to get them together, but it seems they've been ripping each other's cloths off for days.

"We have recordings, and photo's, if you think you're going to wriggle out of this…"

"Photo's? So tell me Marlena, how did it feel to see your beloved John tangled up in a passionate rendezvous with another woman?"

Marlena closes her eyes and involuntarily swallows.

"You haven't had the guts to look at them, have you?" Marlena's face contorts with pain, then goes painfully empty of emotion.

"No. I haven't. I prefer to not know, seeing as you will be returning him to his former self tonight, and this will all be forgotten by himself and me… The woman, you will just have to get rid of, somehow." Marlena realizes that what she is saying, in itself sounds violent, but she doesn't mean it that way – she just wants the woman out of both John and her own lives, like she never existed.

"Oh, and what makes you think that I will be doing that?"

"Because I have nothing to lose – unless you turn John back to his former self, I have lost him for good – that is pretty obvious from that report, so if you refuse to co-operate, I'll give all this information through to Abe and the DA, and you'll all go to jail, You, John and his…(sniff) whore…" she can't believe she called an unknown woman a whore, but she's just so angry…

"Revenge?"

"Yes, on you and him, if it needs be. But I am willing to forgive him, if in his mind, it never happened…" she sound insane with the logic she is spouting.

"Well, I can't cooperate tonight, John's out of the country, until Monday, so you will just have to wait…"

"You have until Monday at noon." She states, then leaves, slamming the front door behind her.

Stefano sits back, looking at Rolf.

"Well?"

"You don't mean? You are going to do what she says?" Rolf looks incredulous.

"Rolf – I have two options, we all go to jail for fraud, and I lose my empire – I will not let John be the cause of that – it will please him to no end – or, I give Marlena her precious John back, I have my empire in tact, I am rid of my brother, Hope lives happily after with no clue what happened, and I can take revenge on Dr. Marlena Evans at a later stage – and this time it'll be good." Then he starts laughing softly… "You know what is really funny Rolf, Hope will go on with her life, John will go on with his former life, and both will have no idea that Marlena is laying awake at night because of the fact that they cannot control themselves…." He chuckles some more " It's so ironic, it is almost revenge.. Almost, but not quite…"


	13. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Gina sighs happily as she sinks even lower into the bubbles.

"Ah....the Rivierra Capri... wonderful." she sighs and smiles again, then she feels a hand on her shoulder, and her eyes fly open.

"So beautiful...' John breaths, "So sexy..." he pulls her face to him, and they kiss. The impact of that one kiss leaves her breathless as she stares up at him.

"I let myself in, I hope I didn't scare you." she shakes her head, then a naughty little smile creeps over her face as she looks at him sideways, from under her lashes.

"Why should I be scared? What do you intend to do with me?" John quirks his infamous eyebrow, which is getting easier every day...

"How does a week-end hostage situation sound – and you are allowed no clothes..."

"Oh, what would be the fun in that, I'd have to wear something for you to take of..."

Gina's wet hand has already undid most of the buttons on his shirt, and is now playing softly with his chest underneath, leaving little bubbles of lather in their wake.

"Like you are doing to me now."

Gina retracts her hand, giving a little laugh...

"Exactly...Why don't you get the champagne ready, while I dry off and put on something?"

"You're teasing me."

"Of course."

"Fine, I'll play along, only until I have you in my arms..."

His words sends a tingle of excitement through her body.

* * *

Minutes later Gina appears in the doorway, the negligee she chose is long and flowing right down to the floor, but transparent enough to show off every curve of her magnificent body. John gasps audibly as he looks up.

He pulls the bottle closer, pouring her glass, noticing that his hands are shaking.

"I waited for you before pouring, less it loses its effervescence..." he holds the glass out to her, as his eyes devour every movement as she saunters over to capture the glass, and his hand, with her own.

"Thank you, I do so hate when it loses it's effervescence."

"To us." he holds his glass up to toast, she clinks back with the glass and his hand still attached.

"To us." , they taste, then as she loosens her grip on the glass, John puts both glasses down on the table. Gina turns around, secretly wishing that their time in Capri can last forever, after the re-enactment just now, she is certain that her remembers a lot more than he is admitting. She walks over to the open glass doors, listening to the waves, until she feels John's warm breath in her neck feel his hands kneading her shoulders, and gently pulling her around to face him. As their eyes connect, she lets out an audible gasp at the passion mirrored in his eyes, then his control breaks. He was intending to tease her as she teased him, but the idea is forgotten as he roughly shoves her up against the door post, and his tongue starts delving into her mouth as if he has never tasted it before.

Her arms pull at his face, his hands pull her into the crevices of his body and then they both let go and fall back, light headed from the impact of their embrace.

For a few seconds they stare at one another, desperately trying to regain control.

"I don't think you're good for my health at all..." Gina sighs, shaking her head, John moves forward, catches her hand and pushes it against his hammering heart.

"I tend to agree..."

They stand their for some moments, then it's over. The longing, the waiting, the anguish. They both stop breathing as their bodies become one, and they sink down onto the carpet. Gina's intention was a slow burning seduction as they peel off each others cloths, when John pulls the straps of her clothing over her shoulders, it makes waves within her, however this time nothing went according to plan... Before either of them has noticed much, their clothing were discarded over the floor and their damp skin sticking to one another as if they belong.... Her nails raking down his back, the blood rushing in their ears, his hands pulling at her thighs as if to gain even deeper entry, a overwhelming thought that she will be the end of him, that no one can survive intensity like this, breaks in the back of his mind, then he realizes how wrong he was as the waves washing over him , become even wilder and more stormy. As her shriek fill his ears, he feels like he is falling with her, down the edge of the cliff, and he realizes with a slight madness that the groans he is hearing is coming from somewhere deep inside him... As he opens his eyes fighting for breath, his eyes unfocused somehow manages to catch hers, a mirror of his own emotions...

Some minutes later, Gina opens her eyes with much trouble, her brain is foggy, yet strangely alert and yet still reeling from the rush of emotion that took complete control of her body.

"John?"

"Mmm?" he murmurs into her hair, then kissing her earlobe, softly.

"I'm feeling slightly dizzy."

"I think we might have died and gone to heaven." he shifts his body weight a little to the side so that he isn't lying right on top of her, then pushes himself up on his elbow to look into her eyes.

"I could stay here with you forever. How did you do it?"

Gina laughs softly, her eyes shining happily.

"Do what?"

"Capture my soul with just a look."

"I could ask you the same thing, I promised myself I'll stay out of your way, but here I am..." They smile into each other's eyes, then he kisses her softly and they embrace. Over John's shoulder, Gina's eyes grow sad. In her very soul she knows that this is to perfect to last, she can feel forces outside their control conspiring to pull them apart...

"John, I'm going to loose you."

He pulls back, looking at her with surprise at her change of mood.

"What are you talking about? You'll never lose me."

A tear runs down her cheek as she puts her hands up against his face, willing his certainty to convince her, to no avail.

"Yes, I will. I can sense it... Stefano..."

"Shh." he puts his finger onto her lips, the follows it with his lips. "No-one can keep us apart, I will kill for you Gina." she smiles ruefully.

"You have promised me that before, you know, but there are things we cannot control..."

"Gina, that will never happen. Trust me, I'll do whatever it takes, even if we have to work for Stefano for the rest of our lives to appease him, or even if we have to run away from Salem..."

"Oh, God, John..." a soft sob escapes her lips as she pulls him close trying to believe, and yet knowing that even in the past, he couldn't make good on that promise as much as he wanted to with his whole heart....

* * *

"It's just one more day, Marlena. Tomorrow when John returns I'll get you what you demanded, okay?" Stefano sighs as he slams down the phone.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Stefano?" Rolf asks, looking skeptical.

"I'll get everything I want this way, and I'll be able to tie up some loose ends."

"Well, the satellite for Hope's new chip is in orbit, when she lands here in Salem tonight, the chip will automatically be activated. And her breaks have been weakened enough to cause a light accident, light enough for her to survive, but affective enough for her to bump her head and explain the sudden memory loss."

"Beautiful, Rolf, perfectly planned as usual. I'll summon John to come to the mansion immediately after he lands where we can do the transfer, with Marlena watching. Damn woman. But she will suffer a lot more than she realizes. Every night when John has to work late or go somewhere without her, she will wonder, wonder about this mystery woman..." Stefano chuckles. "Human nature is just so predictable...

* * *

John opens his eyes to the sun shining brightly through the window, then looks down at Gina still sleeping soundly. Her face is moved away from him, but he can see the swollen trace of her lips, a dead give away of their passionate lovemaking that morning. He feels his body stirring as he remembers her lips on his as he drowsily woke up this morning, only to become wide awake as she climbed on top of him to kiss his chest, it didn't take long for him to get so frustrated with the strain of not having more of her. Soon after, he pushed her off him, only to claim her body with his own...

He pulls the sheet down her body, determined to wake her in the same manner, he can feel the blood starting to beat in his ear drums again as he gently lower his head to suckle the exposed nipple, then as he lifts his head to move lower down the curve of her breast, his eyes fall open the little rose tattoo. It's so perfect, just as perfect as she is, he can feel the hardening between his legs, but chooses to ignore it as one little thought overwhelms his senses. He is in love, irrevocable and unconditionally in-love. There is no way he will allow anyone to take her from him! As the thought overwhelms him, he realizes that even just lying here looking at her is enough, even though he desperately wants to make love to her again, over and over again, just being with her, is enough. He closes his eyes, feeling thankful and fearful at the same time, then feels her stirring, then her soft lips pushing against his. A slow, lingering kiss, until he pulls her head closer and kisses her with so much power and passion that it scares even himself. As their lips part for a second, the words form themselves.

"I love you."

He hears her delighted gasp, and then her own answering whisper. "I love you too, you have no idea how much." He smiles, and then they kiss again. As he opens his eyes to look into hers, he sees the tears running down her cheeks, her eyes shining with joy.

"I love you, Gina. And nothing will change that." he repeats, then laughs softly...

Gina looks surprised.

"What's so funny?" she pulls his face closer, and gives him a light kiss.

"Not bad for a man who is supposed to have no emotion, hey? Three weeks ago I would never have imagined i could feel this way, and feel so much!" He pulls her closer for another kiss, as their breathing become more rapid and their kisses hotter...

* * *

"Gina and John should be boarding any minute now, just a couple of hours and they'll be back in Salem."

"Everything in order?"

"Yes, Stefano, just the car that needs to be sent to the airport to collect John..."

"I have already taken care of that." Stefano looks up from his chest set as the doorbell rings.

"That must be Marlena...not another word about Hope or Gina, I don't want her to know, she can..." he chuckles, "...find out in her own good time..."


	14. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

As Gina gathers her vanity case and small suitcase to get off the plain, she sighs, sadly. Capri is over, and even though her heart soared as John declared his love for her, she has this nagging feeling that the magic is over, it is now back to the real world. Traveling alone also doesn't help... but they cannot be seen together, she realizes that.

Minutes later, she has had all her documents cleared and her luggage in the boot. She starts the car, and sighs, looking ahead, but seeing nothing. Sighing she puts the car into gear and reverses.

"Is it just my imagination or does the breaks feel like they're slipping?" she puts the gear lever into first and pulls off, slowing for the bend takes much more strength than it should.

"I'll stop at a gas station on the way and get the break fluid checked." she's talking to herself, if for no other reason but to hear the reassuring sound of her own voice.

As she pulls over the hill, she can spot the service station in the distance.

"Almost there..."

She slows down to a lower speed, just in case.

Her thoughts return to John and Capri... Their time together was truly magical... She can still hear John's voice, the tremor on his lips, as he spoke those three little words... she looks up to see a man in the middle of the road. She slams on the breaks, realizing there is none, as he comes closer, she swerves. Rolf? It looked like Rolf, then there is the tree spiraling closer, she pulls at the wheel but knows it is too late, she's going to hit that tree! As she feels the pull on her body, and hears the crash of metal, she remembers John's words... "I love you..."

Everything goes dark..

* * *

As John emerges from the jet, a man in a chauffeur's uniform greets him at the foot of the stairs.

"Mr. Dimera has sent a car for you. He has urgent business to discuss regarding the shipping line.." the man explains as he takes John's small over night bag, and opens the back door for him, to get in.

John shrugs. He might as well go to the mansion immediately, he has a lot to discuss with Stefano, especially about Gina – there must be something that Stefano wants badly enough, to negotiate a future for him and Gina. At this point he couldn't really care less what Stefano's price will be, he has to find a way to ensure they have a future. Gina... Where is she now? Probably home.. Jealousy, as sharp as a knife cuts through him, yes, home – with Bo. He doesn't want to hate the man, but he cannot help it. That night that he saw Bo carrying Gina into the house, after she fell asleep in the car, is still fresh in his mind. Who does this man think he is with his paws all over her? A spiteful little voice whispers to him: Her husband. Gina will have to get him out of the picture, he'll never survive the night knowing she's over their with _him_, sleeping next to _him_...

His face is set in a determined line as he emerges from the car, entering the foyer of the mansion.

"Stefano, we have to talk..." he starts. Then a blinding headache hits him, and he collapses to the ground. Behind him Marlena stands, holding a vase, looking a little shell-shocked.

"Are you happy now?" Stefano asks, calmly, grimacing.

When she doesn't answer, he directs his next order to Rolf who had just gotten back.

"Get him to the basement, so we can start the data transfer."

"Yes, Stefano."

* * *

A light tear runs over Marlena's cheek as she watches John pulling this way and that, back in the same chair she found him in, less than a year ago, the cyclops-like goggles covering his eyes.

"I'm sorry..."she mutters under her breath, ''but it is the only way to get your life back, the only way you can regain everything Stefano stole from you, and us."

She jumps as the lights flicker then goes off, the whining of the computers goes silent, then starts back up, together with a louder noise.

"What is it? What happened?" Marlena ask, looking like a deer caught in headlights.

Rolf re-enters the room.

"Nothing to worry about, just a power failure, the back-up generator switched on."

"Oh...." Marlena returns to her post, staring at John. She looks at his mouth... so sensual, that mouth had been whispering words of love to another woman for the past couple of weeks, and his hands so strong.. those hands were making love to someone else... She shakes her head, willing the thoughts away. It doesn't matter now – if he can forget, so can she....

* * *

"Hope!? Hope!?" slowly she opens her eyes to see Bo's worried face leaning over her. "Fancyface? Are you okay?"

She blinks. Everything is so bright and white, is she in a hospital? Incredulously she opens her eyes trying to focus them.

"Bo? Brady, what happened?"

"You don't remember?"

"For the life of me, I can't imagine what have happened to put me in...in... hospital." she stutters, looking around.

"You were in a car accident."

"When?"

"Tonight."

"Tonight? What time is it?"

"Ten to twelve. Your breaks gave in on your way back from the airport."

"Airport?" She lifts her head to look at him, then groans and let it fall back into the pillow.

"My head hurts..."

"You bumped it against the steering wheel and the it bounced back into the head rest... The doctor said you should be fine, but you'll be a little mixed up, and your head will ache for a while. He has prescribed you some killer pain killers, though, unfortunately they couldn't give you any painkillers until you woke up... 'Said something about inducing a coma..."

She closes her eyes, and then painfully opens them again.

"You'll be okay, Fancyface." he lifts his hands to wipe a stray hair out of her face, then thinks better of it, not knowing exactly where the pain is and not wanting to cause her more.

Her eyes slide closed again.

"I love you Fancyface."

She smiles softly.

"I love you, too, Brady."

* * *

"All done, and as good as new. Happy now?" Stefano asks, though his teeth.

"How do I know he is himself again."

"He'll come round soon. Now get him out of here. Take him home"

Marlena smiles at the thought of taking him home.

"Wait. How will I explain why his memory is back. I don't want anyone else to know of our arrangement."

"Then take him back to the Salem Inn, no doubt he'll come looking for you once he wakes up, and for no apparent reason has his memory back." Stefano's sarcasm is lost on Marlena as she watches Rolf place him in the car.

"One last thing..."

"What more could you possibly want from me?" Stefano growls.

"I want to borrow Dr. Rolf, to help me get him back to his room.."

Stefano throws his hands up in the air, as if to say, that he couldn't care less, then re-enters the house.

As Dr. Rolf gets into the car with Marlena, he speaks...

"Seems that you didn't need to repair the damn disk..."


	15. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

"Are you comfortable, Fancyface?" Bo asks as he pulls out of University Hospital's parking lot.

"Yep...Bo?" Hope looks up at him, a question in her eyes.

"Yes, Fancy face..."

"What did you mean last night when you said I was on my way back from the airport.?"

"Don't you remember? You went to Naples, said you may have a lead..."

"A lead. What? To the Trent killing?"

"No, " Bo chuckles, "you're really behind the times, no, to get Stefano."

"Stefano? For killing Trent?"

Bo looks over at her, and looks a bit alarmed.

"No, the Trent killing has been solved, remember? Nick..."

"Nick?!"

Bo pulls over, and turns in his seat.

"Fancyface, are you sure you are okay?"

"Well, I don't know...my head still hurts, but that is nothing compared to what you are telling me..."

"Okay, Fancyface..."Bo reaches over, and takes both her hands in his..."What is the last thing you do remember?"

Hope frowns trying to think back...

"I remember leaving the station – I still told you I may have a lead to the Trent killing... and then.. I was on my way to the Dimera mansion to see if maybe John or Stefano had something to do with it..."

"And then...?"

"I don't know..."

"Did you ever reach the Dimera mansion."

"I don't think so..." somehow the rest is just a dark cloud to her.

"Hope."

She looks up at the urgency in his voice.

"That was three weeks ago."

"Three weeks!"

"Yes, the next day you met with the mayor and accepted the position as police commissioner."

"I did? But I was never going to accept that position..."

"I know, I thought it strange as well... Do you think... Perhaps you did reach the Dimera mansion and something happened to make you change your mind?"

Hope thinks this part over.

"It's possible. If anyone can drive one into taking a position of power, if only to destroy him, it's Stefano."

"Well, you were kinda' hell bent on getting Stefano the last couple of weeks, you have been working so late, at times you came home in the morning hours..." Bo's voice trails off remembering her smelling like men's cologne...

"So, then that must be it.. It obviously hasn't gotten us any where if I went all the way to Naples to follow a lead..."

"Don't worry Fancyface, we'll get him, eventually..."

He moves back in his seat, and starts the car.

"Let's get you home. I'll even make you a cup of hot chocolate, make you a bed in front of the television, and let you hog the remote. I'm so happy your alright."

Hope smiles happily.

"You'd better remember what you said..."she smiles as puts her hand on his leg, "...especially the part about the remote."

* * *

"Well, Rolf..." Stefano pours himself a scotch, "here is to the end of John and Gina, again... And more importantly, here's to Marlena's suffering to come..." he salutes into the air, and downs his scotch.

"Uh, Stefano..."

"Oh I hate it when you use that tone. What is wrong now, Rolf?"

"I'm a little worried about the power outage."

"The back-up generator resumed the power, did it not?"

"Yes, but there has been a break in the current for at least 2 seconds, who knows what that could do? Not just to John, Hope's transmission was at the same time, so there might have been a break in transmission from our satellite to the one in orbit..."

"Nonsense, Rolf, Bo and Hope would've been on my doorstep first thing this morning if anything went wrong, not to mention John..."

"I see your point. The transfer must've been a complete success..."


	16. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

"Ugh." John groans, then reaches for his head.

What is it with these Doctors, they know he is in pain, why don't they give him something to not feel it... Wait a minute. Marlena, Sami, Hope... Everyone came to say goodbye, he remembers them all crying, the doctors saying there is nothing they can do. He reaches up to his head. With this blinding pain there is no way he could be dead.. But then, where is the beeping, the constant hospital buzz, the noisy announcements over the PA system?

He rubs at his eyes, forces them open.

Wait a minute, he knows this room decor...What the hell is he doing in the Salem Inn?

He battles for a minute, then finally he sits upright. His head is reeling. Then he reaches for the phone, and punches in his home number.

It rings, then:

"Marlena speaking."

"Doc?" he inquires.

At the sound of his voice, his OWN voice, Marlena starts smiling, then she tries to contain herself. If this is gonna work, she must act like she has no idea what happened, her reaction must be in line with everything the rest of Salem will be telling him about the last couple of moths. She swallows back her glee...

"Oh. John. What? No 'Blondie' or name calling this morning?"

"Doc? Name calling? What's going on? How did I get outa' the hospital?"

"Hospital? What were you doing in hospital?" She tries to keep her voice as cold as possible.

"Dammit, Doc! The accident.. You and Sami and Belle and Hope and Bo all came to say good bye like I'm dead already and now you act like it never happened."

"John? John? Is that really you? You remember!"

"Doc? What are you talking about?"

"John, that was nearly a year ago, we found you in...in.. Stefano's basement at the beginning of the year, you were totally different..."she allows some of the bitterness to come through in her voice.

"Different? How? Never mind, stay there, I'm coming over." then the phone goes dead...

Marlena looks at the phone and smiles.

"John is back. MY John is back!" she drops the phone and hurries upstairs. She will put on her best outfit before he arrives and do her make-up like never before...

* * *

"Marlena speaking." Marlena sings into the receiver.

Stefano frowns, it seems it worked perfectly...

"I take it the procedure went fine?"

"He's on his way over. He called me "doc"!"

Stefano rolls his eyes.

"Good, now you can get rid of all those evidence you have on me, and we can all go on with our lives." He slams down the phone. Marlena's glee fills him with an all consuming rage, then he calms himself... It is just a matter of time before reality will catch up to Marlena. John may not remember the last year, but she sure as hell does...


	17. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

Hope smiles and stretches, then turns around to face the TV. The painkillers has her feeling wonderfully drowsy, and the warm chocolate Ciara brought her had just made her day... Granted, it was a bit weak and lacking in sugar, but it's the thought that counts.

She turns over as Bo enters the room.

"Marlena phoned, she wants us to come over. John regained his memory."

"John? What else did I miss the last three weeks?" Hope asks, surprised.

"Nada – seems it happened last night... She is overjoyed and frantic and..well, you can imagine."

Hope moves her legs off the couch to make space for Bo to sit down.

"I can definitely imagine..."she says with a smile as he pulls her into his arms for a long lingering kiss... Afterwards they sit, just holding one another, then Hope sighs.

"I suppose I should get dressed, so we can go." she sounds reluctant, it's so warm and cozy in his arms.

"Ye-ah" Bo says with a laugh as he pushes her away, just enough to kiss her. "You can't walk around in your pj's all day..."

"Says who?" Hope jokes back, as he pulls her deeper into his arms, and sways her as they hug. Finally, they break the hold, after a short kiss, Hope walks up the stairs to get dressed.

* * *

"I just don't get it, Doc." John sighs and rubs over his face, trying to wipe away the emotional fatigue he is experiencing. "Why give me my memories back after a couple of months? Maybe I was working for Dimera, and now that the job is over, he can get rid of me..."

Marlena moves over to sit next to him, and places her hand on his shoulder.

"I don't think so – maybe he had to get rid of you to keep his empire..."

"You mean, I knew too much.."

"Well, no.." Marlena realizes she needs to choose her words carefully, seeing as he is bound to hear everything from everyone else later. "...I thinks it's more like you.. wanted... too much."

"Wanted? What? His empire? His illegible businesses?" John's tone is skeptical.

"Well, yes, I believe your exact words were... "I want what is rightfully mine.""

"Rightfully mine? What the hell does that mean?"

Marlena takes a deep breath, wondering how to tell him of his mother, and her death... Then the doorbell rings.

She sighs, somewhat relieved as she announces.

"That must be Bo and Hope, I asked them to come over.."

John watches her, as she opens the door, a million thoughts running through his mind, as he tries to come to terms with what she told him. He has a feeling that it's but the tip of the iceberg. Marlena greets them, and John sees them eying him suspiciously, as they come closer. Was he really such a monster?

He stand up and reaches a hand to Bo.

"Hey, Bo." Bo hesitates for a second then they shake on it.

"You really back, buddy?"

John gives a rueful smile.

"I'm not quite sure what you mean, but, yeah..." he shrugs, then turns to Hope.

"Hope?" Hope has been staring at him ever since they came in. He can see her eyes searching his face for something...

Then she smiles, the first genuine smile he has had since he wake up in this nightmarish situation.

"It really is you.. Welcome back." relieve floods him as she steps closer, into his arms to give him a welcoming hug.

"Coffee, anyone?" Marlena breaks the silence, as they all move over to the couches.

"I'd love some, thanks, Bo's been feeding me hot chocolate all night..."

"Yeah, me too." Bo answers before pulling her into his arms, "I'm just glad she's alright, her breaks failed last night and she drove into a tree..."

"Hope? Are you alright?" Marlena asks, alarmed... A guilty little voice reminds her of where she was and what she was doing while her friend was in danger...

"Yeah, I'm fine, bumped my head a bit, but other than that I'm fine..." she feels somewhat unwilling to admit, that she has lost some memories in the process – in a couple of days, she'll start remembering, and everything will be fine. Bo seems to be following the same train of thought as he changes the subject, addressing John.

"What happened, man?"

John shrugs, looking a little confused...

"Well, I don't know... I woke up this morning, and couldn't understand where I was... The last thing I remember is you all coming to say goodbye at the hospital. I felt so sure I'm going to die, that there is nothing left, and whoop..." he slams the back of his one hand into the other... "here I am in the Salem Inn off all places...."

"Stefano must've grown tired of trying to fight you for Dimera shipping..." Hope guesses.

John sits forward, looking slightly uncomfortable.

"What exactly went on with me and that damn company...Marlena says I... wanted it for myself... that I felt entitled to it. Why on earth would I..." he trails off, leaving the question hanging in the air between them.

After a pregnant silence, Bo answers.

"He's your brother. Stefano. Santo's was your father. Colleen was your mother. She told you herself, when we...went to Ireland."

"My Mother...Colleen? She's alive? I met her?" John asks incredulously.

"Well, she was. She died soon after.. Pop... died a little while later."

John is silent as he digests the news.

"I'm a Dimera?"

"And a Brady." Hope pipes up, trying to sound positive, "Colleen and Shawn were brother and sister."

"I can't believe I finally met my mother and I cannot remember!" John looks crushed. After so many, many years... it runs through his mind.

"John, I'm so sorry..." Hope reaches forward, taking his hand. John squeezes it back, then drops it as he jumps up.

"Of all the things, the memories, the lives, Stefano has stolen from me, this takes the cake!" he screams, then spins on his heels to walk to the door, only to turn back, not knowing where to run to, or what to do.

Bo, Hope and Marlena, who had been standing in the doorway with the tea tray, exchange worried glances.

"There's more, isn't there?"John directs the question at everyone..."I saw how you all looked at me, was I really such a monster?"

"Sit down." Marlena says gently, "and we'll tell you everything."


	18. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

"You really think it's wise, going out to celebrate tomorrow night?" Hope asks Bo, as they are getting ready for bed.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't it be?" Bo asks.

Hope gets into bed next to him, and after making herself comfortable in his arm, she continues thoughtfully...

"Well, John doesn't really look like celebrating – not after everything he heard today..."

"Yeah, I see your point... but he didn't object, so maybe it'll be a good thing..."

"I suppose, could cheer him up a bit... I'm just wishing for John and Marlena to be happy again.." she snuggles closer, "... as happy as we are."

Bo chuckles softly, then with a satisfied grunt, lifts himself so he is half hanging over her.

"And we are..." he moves closer, and they kiss, a soft lingering kiss. "It's been a while since we've been together long enough to do this.." he murmurs. "Perhaps this accident of yours was a good thing, it forces you to slow down, you've been working way to hard."

Hope smiles happily.

"Oh, and you know exactly how to fill my lazy, empty days..." again they kiss, slowly at first, then as Bo deepens the kiss, pushing her into the bed, there is a flash, and image in front of her consciousness...

._..with fascination she looks into her own fevered eyes, then to the phoenix on his back, the wings spread over his shoulder blades looking as if they're flapping as his hands roam up and down her already sleek and wet body. She'll never forget that image as long as she lives, she thinks feverishly..._

She freezes, her eyes opening in shock. _What the hell was that? _

"Hope? Fancyface? Are you okay." Bo asks, pushes her hair back from her forehead. Instinctively her hand goes to her head.

"N..nothing. The accident, my head.. I just don't feel so good."

"Awww...poor Fancyface." Bo kisses her softly. "Stay here, I'll get you some warm milk and those tablets the doctor gave you." As he disentangles himself from the sheets, Hope smiles at him weakly, gratefully.

As the door closes behind him, she sits up right, rubbing over her eyes...

"What the hell just happened?" She looks into the mirror uncomfortably, seeing, in her mind's eye, a phoenix's wings flapping as if in flight...

* * *

John sits on his couch in the Salem inn. That's it, he is sitting, just sitting, and thinking, forever thinking about everything he has learned since that morning... Marlena sent him 'home', saying that a lot of things have happened and that they will have to get back to where they were slowly. Yeah, only problem is, "where they were" is where he is at – to him it is like yesterday. He shakes his head, as if to clear it.

He met his mother – his mother, finally the mystery of his past has been solved and he has no memory of it! Irony. Murphy's law... Stefano.

He has to find out what happened between him and that man... his... brother. The thought sits uncomfortably on his mind... it must've been massive if he changed him back – gave him back everything he took. Well, not everything, Marlena is still looking strangely uncomfortable around him.

He sighs, loudly, in the silence of the suite, then goes through to the bedroom, then the bathroom. He turns on the shower.

He pulls his shirt over his head, and looks into the mirror as the water in the shower starts to warm up. He does look a bit older, it must've been a hard year if he can even see the difference... He sighs, and wonders for the umpteenth time what exactly had gone down between him and Stefano the last year. The steam from the shower is slowly starting to fill out into the bathroom, he sighs again, and turns to get in. Something catches the corner of his eye, and he looks back over his shoulder catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror. He gasps as he sees the huge wing crawling up his shoulder blade, the evil looking beak and eyes staring back at him... Foreign. That cannot be him. His face is drawn, thinner, and this... thing... on his back. A phoenix. He must've been obsessed. Obsessed with being a... Dimera!

He swears under his breath, and balls his fist, ready to slam it through the mirror, but seeing the frightful image he projects in it, decides against it. He went through all the trouble of getting rid of the phoenix tattoo he had before, and now this... it's way to big to get lazered off. He will have to live with it, a constant reminder of the poisonous blood that runs through his veins.

After a very short shower, he gets into bed, stares at the ceiling, readying himself for a very long night...

* * *

At midnight, Hope slides out of bed. Out of the warmth of Bo's embrace, and silently make her way down the richly carpeted stairs, through the living room and into the kitchen... She fiddles, unseeing behind the microwave on the counter, takes out a packet, slips out a lone cigarette, and lights it out on the porch. She stares into space...

"Thump!" She startles, looks up, seeing her surroundings for the first time, her gaze following the cat that bumped against a potted plant, as it jumps the wall... She exhales, a cloud of smoke escaping into the night.

Surprised she looks at her hand, throws down the cigarette, just in time realizing that she is bare foot and regains her balancing after almost stomping on the brightly glowing bud. Her breathing is low and fast, rasping over her lips as she back away from the offending glow...

"What the.... hell is she doing outside in the middle of the night – smoking, of all things...?!"

Spooked she runs back in the house, closing the door softly, with practiced ease behind her....

Then falls down on the couch... sitting and staring as her mind races....

* * *

John tosses and turns, yet again, lying on his back, his head moving from side to side, his breath coming in slow rasping sounds through his throat.

"_His breathing seizes and his whole body feels like pinpricks, then all his carefully build control breaks as he pushes his hands into her hair and pulls her closer as he fires back with a more fierce assault on that damn mouth that's been teasing him all night..."_

He groans, turn over, pushing his face into the pillow._.._

_He pulls her head back by her hair and leaves her gasping for air, as he takes his lips from hers, and pulls at her jawline with his teeth before moving onto the crook of her neck. In his fevered mind John wonders if the air around them has suddenly turned hot, as he can feel the heat making him feel lightheaded. Without a clear thought he wonders where the nearest space is for him to throw her down on...."_

With a cry like a wild animal's, he punches the pillow, pushing himself up, and over until he is sitting up right in bed, fully awake, gasping for air...

"What the...?" he breaths as he pushes his hands through his short black hair... The he stands, and starts pacing.

"Was that just a dream?" he asks aloud, then thinks silently to himself, "Or even worse, could it be a memory? And if it is, who the hell is the woman with him...?

He strains to bring back details that could identify her, but all he can pull from the memory is a fall of dark hair over his face as he... devours... her neck, the bottom of her earlobe... and a white strap, as he pulls it down her shoulder...

He grows instantly pale as a thought strikes him, A thought too unbelievable to be possible. The only other time he had felt that... burning... passion... was with... Gina... Hope.. on the sub. He shakes his head. There is no way, Hope was here, she was herself, no Gina.... No Gina!

He gives a humorless laugh...

He's going nuts...

But what if... what if it really is a memory... Who the hell is the woman? And how could he have betrayed Doc like that?! No wonder she sent him back here, instead of welcoming him back home, their home, his home....


	19. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

The following day started as normal as possible. Bo finds his wife asleep on the couch, sitting in an upright position, John finds himself sitting on his window sill where he eventually dozed off after spending most of the night in turmoil and pacing and Marlena finds herself groggily waking up after the potent sleeping pills she took to drown out the voice of not just her own conscience, but also of that damn PI describing John's lovemaking to another woman....

Yes, just another _wonderful _day in Salem....

Hope spends the morning with Ciara, grateful that the little girl is constantly keeping her mind from wondering... John spends the day with Bo at the precinct, learning of everything that happened the past year, and Marlena spends extra time with her patients, feigning intense interest, to keep them each there a tiny bit longer so she doesn't need to think of her own life....

"He'll come around... I'll come around eventually..." she tells herself, hoping feverishly that it is true.

At four pm the phone rings.

"Dr. Marlena Evans, How may I help you?"

"Doc? We're still on for tonight, right?" there is a haunted sound in his voice that she remembers so well from the past year. What could've happened to cause it? Is Stefano playing games? Is this really her John?

She tries to answer as normally as possible.

"Yes, of course, I don't know about Bo and Hope, though."

"Bo's still in, Hope probably as well.... I spend the day at the precinct. Seems I'm still a suspect. A suspect in Drug laundering – Me! Can you believe it?!"

Oh, so that is what is causing the strain...

"Yes, well, a lot happened this past year..." she says, a little more bitterly than she had intended.

"Doc? Was? Did I...? Did I cheat on you?"

She is silent for a while.

"We are divorced, John, cheating would mean we would have to be in a relationship..." then she thinks of Ava, "but yes, there was a woman before we got divorced as well..."

"As well? How many where there?!" John's shocked voice careens through the phone lines.

"I'd prefer not to know." Marlena states flatly. "Besides, we're starting over, right? That's what we decided last night. I'll...a... meet you at Tuscany."

"I'll pick you up..."

"No, it's fine. I'll meet you there."

"It's everything but fine." John says to his impersonal room, still holding the receiver....

He sighs, loudly in the empty room. It is a sound he is starting to become accustomed to... then goes through to the bathroom. He stares at the phoenix on his back as the shower warms. He looks like a Dimera with his face so stern and the evil image staring back from his own flesh. What kind of man was he this last year? This is what Hope must've felt like when she was saved from the touret so many years ago... except there was worse to come for her. He'll never forget the anguish as he told her that her baby was his...

Is this year going to have as much repercussions on his life?

The images from the flash he had the night before replays itself in his mind. Who is that woman?

Then a new flash follows.

_He pulls her down again, and as he rolls her over, pushing against her, her fevered mind registers that their undergarments have at some point been discarded of as well. His hand on her breast, there legs pushing at one another, his hand traveling up to her face, his thumb pulling at her bottom lip, her eyes blind with passion. He gently kisses the small rose under her breast, thinking how special that little rose is to him, her hands roaming his back, exploring his muscles,_

He gasps as he comes back to reality. The fire just from the memory is making him burn up....

He turns around, walks in a tight manner to the shower, turns off the warm water and instead get in under the freezing water, gasping with the intensity of the memory he just experienced.

From that memory it is pretty obvious that he much more than kissed or fondled this woman, they had to have made love at some point. Considering the state he was in, there would be no way he could've stopped before....

* * *

An hour later, John walks into Tuscany, scanning the crowd. In the back corner he sees Hope sitting alone, rubbing at her head, a painful look on her face. He scans the crowd again, no Marlena yet, no Bo... He shrugs and walks over. Hope looks up as he sits down.

"Hi."

"Hi." Hope answers, then rubbing at her forehead again, sighs.

"Hope, it's me."

She looks up, surprised.

"I know."

"So stop acting so awkward around me. It's like the whole damn Salem clams up the minute I draw near."

Hope reaches over and take his hand.

"John, It will get better." she squeezes his hand, then drops it. "Just give it some time." She rubs at her forehead again.

"Are you okay?" John asks, gesturing toward her forehead.

Hope gives a half smile.

"Headache, from the accident. Bo's run home quickly to fetch the pain medication."

"Yeah, he mentioned the head aches today."

Hope looks up.

"Is that all he mentioned?"

"Yes. Why?"

She shakes her head, waving with her hand in the air.

"I've just been feeling a little off lately."

Hope berates herself. She nearly gave herself away, but for a moment she thought Bo might've said something about the memory loss.

"Hope? Can I ask you something?"

"You sound serious."

"I am. This last year... was there a... woman in my life."

Hope looks at him surprised.

"Well, there was Ava... If there was anyone else, I wouldn't know. You and me weren't exactly... friends..."

"What kind of woman was this... Ava?"

Hope gives a dry laugh....

"You don't wanna know.... She was demented, at first obsessed with Steve, she mistook me for Kayla, kidnapped me and well, shot me."

"Shot you?!"

Could this be the woman in his memory. Would he feel that strongly about such a type of woman?

He sits forward.

"Look, Hope, I know we haven't been friendly over the last year.... but we have always been close, I've always been able to trust you with anything. I.... have been having memories.... Of a woman... It's pretty.... personal. I need to know who she is. If it could've been this Ava... and I can't talk to Marlena, for well, obvious reasons."

"I'll help you any way I can, John.... but I don't know if I am able to help..."

"Just answer me some questions... like.... like... what color hair did she have?"

"Well, darkish, but not brown, more of a dark blond....."

That doesn't sound like the woman in his dream... it was dark, it might've been.... He looks up. But the woman in his dream's hair was more the color of Hope's hair... That is one of the reason's his first thought was of Gina.... she had a gift of making him loose control like that.

He sighs.

"Hope... from what you could tell... Who had the upper hand in the relationship?"

"I don't really understand what you mean.... My thought was always... why the hell are you keeping her on? Like she is tagging along with you and you are allowing it." she shakes her head, "Of course I wouldn't know what you guys were like when you were alone, it's just the impression I got. You were unemotional, John. It was like you didn't have emotions... You tried to kill Bo, you tried to kill your own mother.... It was like you were a robot. Even you yourself at one time said that you didn't know what emotions were, and that you didn't need 'em..."

This certainly doesn't sound like the person he was in that memory... If it even is a memory...

The a flash hits him again....

_He pulls her down again, and as he rolls her over, pushing against her, her fevered mind registers that their undergarments have at some point been discarded of as well. His hand on her breast, there legs pushing at one another, his hand traveling up to her face, his thumb pulling at her bottom lip, her eyes blind with passion. He gently kisses the small rose under her breast, thinking how special that little rose is to him, her hands roaming his back, exploring his muscles,_

"John?! John?!"

As he comes back to reality, he looks straight into Hope's worried face. His eyes move down to her earlobe and her jawbone....

_He pulls her head back by her hair and leaves her gasping for air, as he takes his lips from hers, and pulls at her jawline with his teeth before moving onto the crook of her neck. In his fevered mind John wonders if the air around them has suddenly turned hot, as he can feel the heat making him feel lightheaded. Without a clear thought he wonders where the nearest space is for him to throw her down on...."_

It might as well have been her.... the similarities.

Her hand on his shoulder is shaking him...

"John! Are you alright?"

"John?!" Marlena crouches down next to Hope.

He shakes his head...

"Yeah, yeah, I'm here..."

He will have to refrain from asking more questions until… What? Until what? It's not like she even has any answers for him – and the only other question he can think of to identify the woman, is whether she had a tattoo or not. And Hope wouldn't know. No one would, considering the spot it is placed in.

Another loud sigh.

He sits back, trying to smile as Bo arrives as well, handing Hope her painkillers.

Let the party begin….


	20. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

John yawns as he wakes up from a deep, alcohol induced sleep.

The night before at Tuscany's was fun, he admits to himself, but Marlena's awkwardness around him is still a strain. It's one of the reasons he had a little too much to drink. Well, that and the fact that he knew it would help him sleep well when he finally went to bed.

Hope seems to be the only one that is completely comfortable around him, perhaps because she knows what it feels like… In fact for her it was worse. She was pregnant when they found her, and as everyone was scared that she could lose the baby, no-one wanted to tell her anything, least of all himself. At least he knows what he has been up to this past year…

Bo seems relatively comfortable around him, but there still is times when Bo stares at him in a strange way.

Will the citizens of Salem ever trust him again?

He stands up and walks over to the bathroom, looking in the mirror for a long time before brushing his teeth and shaving. He does this a lot lately. Staring at his face, seeing changes that show a year has gone since he looked in the mirror, wondering what he acted like over the past year…

After a quick shower, he picks up the phone and dials his home number. No answer.

Right. He forgot. Week day. Marlena's at work.

He puts down the receiver, then picks it up again.

No. He can't spend another day with Bo at the precinct…

Again, he replaces the receiver.

Hope? But he doesn't want to bother her as well. They danced together a lot last night, due to Marlena's awkwardness around him, keeping up a good stream of conversation, until she got this blank look and started complaining about her head again. It would probably be better to leave her alone to recuperate. With Hope at least, she doesn't hold back. She told him about some other cases they suspected him to be involved, how he ran Dimera shipping, how he treated Marlena, Belle, Shawn… "Note to self: Phone Tink" and herself, Bo and the rest of the Brady's, Hortons… oh, and the Kiriakisses… He should probably pop by Victor's and apologize for the business war…

Dressed, groomed and ready with no where to go and a feeling of being trapped between four walls, he eventually leaves with no real destination….

* * *

Hope wakes up to the phone ringing…

She reaches over, her head still hurting , and answers.

"Hey, Hope? Is Ciara still coming over? Today is the annual ice cream festival and I know she would wanna go?"

"Oh, Caroline… Sure, I'll drop her in… half-an-hour?"

"That's fine dear. See you soon."

"Okay"

Hope grabs another pain tablet, washes it down with the last bit of water left in the glass next to the bed, and heads out in search of her daughter, only to find her in the lounge, fully dressed, waiting to go. Hope smiles to herself. She must be so excited, just a pity mommy forgot about the festival, right along with all the rest of the happenings of the last three weeks…

"Ciara? Mommy will take you to Granma's now, as soon as I'm dressed."

Ciara looks up…

"Mommy? Hurry, we're going to be late!"

Hope smiles top herself as she heads back up stairs to finish.

* * *

"Well, your lost in thought…" Hope comments as she sits down across from John at the Java café, after dropping off Ciara. This place's coffee can cure anything.

John looks up, then smiles… He's grateful to have someone to talk to.

"Yep, that's cause I have so _much_ to think about…" he smiles ruefully.

"Yeah, it must be a lot to take in…"

John nods, while Hope orders her coffee.

"I went past Victor's this morning…" John gives a humorless laugh, "At first he thought I was having him on, trying to con him into thinking that the "war" is over and that I am me again… Took me a while to convince him its really me… Philip took even longer to believe me."

Hope reaches over and takes his hand.

"It will get better. Another week or so, until everyone gets the news and knows your back and then everything will be just as it had been before. You'll see…"

John looks up at Hope's sincere face.

"_I needed this." She sits back, and gestures with her hands, making a circle, indicating the whole club. "Getting away..." then she sits forward and takes John's hand. The electrifying sensation it causes him, almost makes him pull his hand back. Then he looks up into her face, and sees that her face has lost the mischievous grin, and is now serious. _

"_Thank you. I'm sure you also needed to get away, get out with some one who won't judge you, and I sincerely hope that I had made a difference, however, I must thank you for this... wonderful opportunity...to let my hair down."_

_Seeing the sincerity in her eyes, makes him feel grateful that he didn't pull his hand away._

John pulls his hand back, shaking his head as if to clear it.

"John? John, are you okay?" Hope asks concerned.

John looks up.

"Yeah…. Yeah. I… uh… have been having these moments lately where I just space out for a couple of seconds…"

"Mmm. Memories. But usually in the beginning they're just jumbled images that make no sense… well, at least that is what it was like for me when I started having memories from my times as Gina… I'd say it's a good sign that you'll eventually remember meeting your mother"

"Glass is half full, right, Hope?"

She smiles…

"Yeah, okay, but what's the point in being negative? It never got anyone anywhere…" she shrugs, as they both smile, John acknowledges her logic with a nod.

"True."

Hope looks up, over his shoulder.

"Ah, here comes my coffee…"

As Hope receives her coffee and has a short conversation with the waiter, John gets some time to think about the last memory. Hope said they weren't exactly close during the last year. Then why the hell are they sharing a drink at some really fancy nightclub? Her words are even more confusing. Who would be judging her? She is as comfortable as usual around him, surely nothing could've happened between them, she wouldn't have been acting this normal. Unless…. She doesn't remember. Which brings him back to the Gina theory.

"John?"

John looks up startled.

"Okay, I am starting to get worried. You were a million miles away again. Just don't go turning into that other RoboJohn again."

He starts laughing.

"RoboJohn? I'll remember that one."

Hope starts laughing as well.

"Yeah, well. What else are we supposed to call it?"

"Point taken."


	21. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

* * *

One month later…

* * *

"Dammit, Doc. Will we ever get back to where we were?" John exclaims, in a raised voice.

Marlena is crying, quietly. She does everything quietly.

"Doc?"

Hiccup. "I don't know… this past year…" How can she make him understand without him knowing about that woman he spent the last three weeks of his other life with? Why is it so difficult for her to forget? Just forget. It should be so simple. He's back; he wants to get back together. He has no idea about that other woman. So why can't she just let it go? Every time he touches her, her mind immediately goes to: Did he touch _her_ like this? Did he hold _her_ like this? Apart from one or two kisses, things haven't been able to progress…

John turns on his heel, slamming the door, leaving Marlena still in tears on the couch.

* * *

Hope stares into space, ticking with her pen on her desk. The open case files in front of her completely forgotten.

_Phoenix._

For the past month, every single night the same dream comes to her. The one with the phoenix's wings, and each time she wakes up, hot, flustered and confused. Why? What does it mean? And the effect it has on her?

"Hey, Fancyface. Ready to go?" Bo asks as he enters her office.

Hope guiltily looks down at the report she finished earlier.

"Yeah, I need an early night… Let me just get this to filing."

* * *

As John enters his room at the Salem Inn, slamming the door with frustration, the phone starts to ring.

He looks at it, coldly, wondering if this phone call will make his night better or worse. Then with a defeated sigh, he answers.

"Ah! John. How is my dear brother lately?"

John frowns.

"What do you want Dimera?"

"Now, now John, is that any way to talk to your only brother?"

John snorts.

"Just say what you have to say Dimera, before I hang up."

"Fine, fine. Relax, will you? I am contacting you in regards to Dimera shipping."

"What about Dimera shipping?" John asks, only half listening as he looks around the room for his sleeping tablets. He has been taking them for the last month, hoping to stop the dream-like memory flashes. As much as he wants to know what he has been up to the last year, he needed a break, just until he feels up to facing it all.

"Well, you still own half my company John, and as you are not the man you have been for the past couple of months, I was hoping that you will sign back to me, after all, you hate your Dimera roots."

John tunes back to the conversation, realizing that there might be more business he conducted in the last year that he doesn't know about. The most frustrating thing being that: no-one can tell him about it, since the man he was then was very secretive.

"Funny that you should acknowledge my hatred only now that it suits you Dimera."

"Well, can we set up an appointment with my lawyer?"

John, feeling a little more than frustrated, the earlier scene with Marlena, and generally the last month's strain finally catching up as he locates his sleeping tablets only to find them empty, curses under his breath, throws the empty pill bottle across the room, and then remembers Stefano on the line, waiting for an answer. A spiteful look crosses his face.

"Whatever. I'll be in touch." Bang.

John stares at the phone he has just banged down. Seems he will have to make do without the tablets tonight. It is way too late for any drug stores to be open, plus he needs a script.

Then, as he pushes himself back from the telephone table, he sighs.

Perhaps this is a sign that he needs to face his demons, once and for all. Perhaps if he has more memories and can piece together the whole picture, he would know how to approach Marlena so they can put this all behind them.

* * *

As the phone dies at Stefano's end, he starts chuckling. Rolf looks at him questioningly.

"Oh my dear Rolf, it seems Marlena may have gotten her way, but this is not over by a long shot. For one, John is in a very foul mood, and my guess is, Marlena put him there, and the fact that he still answers on the land line at the Salem Inn, clearly shows that he hasn't moved back to the townhouse. I told you before Rolf… Human nature is just so predictable."

* * *

"Fancy face? 'r you coming?" Bo calls from the shower.

"In a minute." Hope answers back, shrugging off her jacket and hanging it neatly in the closet, playing for time. She hates feeling like this. She loves Bo, always has, always will, and yet, sexually she cannot bring herself to be close to him. The minute anything starts to develop, that flash/image of the man with the phoenix takes over her mind, and she pulls back, feeling guilty and dirty, especially since it… does… turn her on. There. She admitted it to herself. And what bothers her even more? Those three weeks are still a blank. Does that mean this flash is a memory? But how on earth could she betray Bo like that. It just simply cannot be.

Then her cell phone rings. She sighs, relieved and rush to the bed side table to answer it.

She checks the caller id. It's Abe.

"Hi, Abe. What's up?"

"Hi, Hope, sorry to bother you at this time."

"Oh, don't worry about it. How can I help you?"

"Dimera shipping."

"Yes?"

"We are going to take another stab at trying to pin down Stefano through that company of his."

Another? That must be the case she worked on when Bo said she was hell bent on taking down Stefano.

"Ok. So do you want us to try a different angle?"

"Yes. With our previous investigation, we focused on the books, trying to see if anything was out of sorts on the financial side.. Tax evasion, fraudulent purchases etc… Now we have decided to focus on the international side of their business."

"Ireland?"

"Off course, that is the main offices, however also Rome, Paris and New York… ok, New York isn't exactly international, but it is far from Salem, so he may not think that we will go there…"

"I see your train of thought…"

"Also, I gather that John is still part of the company… Hell, I don't even know if he knows that he owns half of it, might be a good idea to inform him. Also, when you contact him, ask him for his help, if we can spark his memory in a way, he can be very valuable to the investigation. Besides he will need some kind of deal from the DA's office not to go down with Stefano when we land him, and then at that time we can mention his involvement with the investigation. That way we can save John and hang Stefano."

Hope has silently been listening, nodding and taking mental notes as Abe had been speaking.

"Sure Abe, will do."

After hanging up, she looks up at Bo in the doorway.

"Sorry Brady. Tomorrow night?" silently relieved, she feels guilty looking at his disappointed face.

"Yeah, I couldn't stay in there forever…"

Hope walks over and plants a kiss on his lips.

The picks up her phone…

"I have some stuff to sort on the new case, then I'll have a shower and join you." She closes the door behind her as she starts dialing John's number while walking down the stairs. Since Bo is not part of the investigative team, she cannot tell John what Abe said in front of him. Sometimes she really miss working together with him as a team.

The phone is ringing, then John sounding very annoyed, answers.

"This has better not be you again, Dimera…"

"Not since the last time I checked…"

"Oh, Hope. Sorry. Did you know I apparently own half of Dimera shipping? "

"Okay, how strange. That is why I am phoning. When did you find out."

"Just now, when my _dear brother_ phoned to inform me…"

"Well Abe phoned me. We are launching a new investigation into Dimera shipping, and have been hoping you can help us."

"I don't see how, but I can try…"

"As long as you're willing. I'll meet you at the Java café tomorrow morning. We can go over the details then."

"No problem, see you then Hope."

"Bye!"

As John replaces the receiver he gives a little smile. Maybe they can still take Stefano down after all. And he is grateful for a friend like Hope. They have become even closer over the last month than ever before. He can ask her anything and get a straight forward answer – not like everyone else who keeps trying to laugh off the last year. He doesn't know what he would've done without her on his side.


	22. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

_Gina turns away, and goes to the window to look out. John rests his hands on her shoulder, wondering about her sudden change in mood _

"_Gina?" there is a hoarseness in his voice He turns her around. He has no idea why he turned her towards him, he has no words. Instead he just says her name again, while lifting her face to look into her eyes. She keeps her eyes, averted, then pushes his hand away, and pushes past him. _

"_I have to go." _

_He catches her by the wrist and pulls her back. _

John rolls over onto his back, his head, jerking from left to right and back again.

"_Why?" _

"_Because it will never work. It can never work." She babbles. She turns her wrist free, grabs her purse and makes for the door. As she opens the door, his greater force suddenly slams it closed from behind her. She leans with her head against the door, refusing to turn around. _

"_Why not?"_

"_Because you can remember any day, or never, because you will be taken away from me again, as surely as we are standing here. Because I'm not Gina. I'm just an impostor operating on her memories..."_

_He swings her around violently, his eyes boring into hers._

"_Who cares about all that? All we have is the present. My past is a mystery, yours a jumble of lives, our futures are as certain as any other person's. We could all die tomorrow."_

John is gasping for air, kicking off the covers.

_She stares at him, then closes her eyes as she exhales, leaning her head back into his hands, now encircling her head. As John lowers his head, a little voice tells him to stop, everything will be lost, if he doesn't. His body doesn't respond to his thoughts, instead he presses his lips against her soft ones. _

John groans in his sleep, a pained expression on his face.

_Gina inhales sharply as his hands pulls her with more force. As her lips open with shock, John dives in, without thought, it's like his mouth and tongue has a life of their own. Warm, moist tongues collide, and then he breaks the kiss, pulling her head back by her hair. The intensity was about to burn him up alive, so instead, he gets hold of her ear lobe, then moves onto her neck, right in front of her earlobe. As her breathing become more rapid and his restraint weakens, she pulls his head up again to capture his lips with her own. He buries his hands deeper in her hair, pulling her around, and pushing her over the side of the couch until they fall onto it's soft confines. Gina opens her eyes as he pulls his hands from her hair, rubbing down over her shoulder and pulling the thin strap of her top down in one smooth motion, only for her eyes to roll back in sockets and close again, as he moves his lips down to the start of the mount of her breast. Her own hands wander over his back, pulling up his shirt, to roam the strong muscles of his back and shoulder blades. His own hands journey down from her strap to push her breast up in an effort to get access to more of the mount, then it roams down the side of her body to stop on her hip to pull her closer, then to her leg that is pressed into the couch by his body. He pulls it free and Gina swings it around his waist pushing herself closer. He captures her hand on his shoulder and pushes it back against the couch above her head, signifying total dominance, before his hand roams back down the length of her arm. Then they tumble over onto the floor, Gina pulls his shirt free and over his head, then leaning forward she pushes her hands against his chest as they move up and onto his shoulder, to encircle his head, as their lips meet again. John can feel his breathing becoming ragged, and his hands that were pulling at her hips once again pulls her face even closer. The limited access to her body frustrates him, as he groans then rolls her over onto the carpet. Blindly he starts removing her jeans, and then as he pulls them free he captures her leg with his hand and softly bites into the soft flesh just above the inside of her knee. Gina squirms with the sensation. As he moves upwards she starts as his warm breath crosses over her groin and his warm tongue starts to explore her naval, moving upwards. He curses softly under his breath as he encounters another obstacle in her top, which he almost violently discards of. Gina pushes him backwards to get at his own jeans and fumbling with unseeing eyes, she finally gets rid of it. He pulls her down again, and as he rolls her over, pushing against her, his fevered mind registers that their undergarments have at some point been discarded of as well. His hand on her breast, there legs pushing at one another, his hand traveling up to her face, his thumb pulling at her bottom lip, her eyes blind with passion. He gently kisses the small rose under her breast, thinking how special that little rose is to him, her hands roaming his back, exploring his muscles, she closes her eyes, lying back and arching her back, until he can feel him probing at her entrance. She pulls at his buttocks with her hands, his lips against her neck, his ragged breathing in her ear. Then as his resistance breaks, he feels himself entering her wildly, groaning, and a moan escapes her lips, as he thrusts, she pulls his head up, and their mouths collide in feverish kisses. He pushes harder and harder, hoping for more, more of her. Then as it feels as if his head will explode with the intensity of the wave rocking through his body, and her fingers raking over his shoulder blades, he groans wondering if his body will be able to handle the explosion within, if he'll survive the jolt traveling through his heart and brain_…

With a start John wakes up, gasping… He feels like he is suffocating. As he stands up and opens the window to breath, he takes in his bed. It looks like the battle ground of world war three…

"There you have it, John. Mystery solved." He says out loud, knowing full well that his life will never be the same again.

Desperately looking for something that can calm him down, he takes out the lone cigar and matches he found going through the "other" John's things.

"I really hope you can help" he addresses the cigar, before lighting it and taking a seat in the window sill. It is going to be a long night. And the question that bothers him the most: How is he supposed to face Hope at their meeting tomorrow?

* * *

As Bo and Hope are getting ready for the new day, the phone rings.

"Brady." Bo answers, "Oh, hey, John, just hold on, I'll get her for you."

Hope downs her last bit of coffee, then takes the receiver.

"Hey, John."

"Hey, Hope. Listen… about today's meeting… I don't really see the point. I don't remember anything about Dimera shipping and the inner workings."

"So, we'll hypnotize you…" Bo looks up questioningly, Hope turns around speaking more softly… "Look Abe has a proposal he wants me to present to you… I can't talk now, since Bo is here, and it's supposed to be classified… Oh how I miss the days that we use to work on the same cases… anyways, just hear me out, and then tell me if you want to try and help. Okay?"

"Hope, I…"

"Mommy?" Ciara's crying down the hall.

"Coming, Honey… Ciara's calling me and somehow we have all managed to run late this morning, we'll speak again. I'll see you at the Java Café in an hour…. I have a report to finish at the precinct, and I need to get the previous case file, so we know where the dead ends are… See you then!"

"Yeah, see you."

Completely defeated John stares at the phone.

This is going to be a loooooooong day!

* * *

John looks up from his coffee just in time to see Hope approaching from the other side of Salem Place.

_Gina inhales sharply as his hands pulls her with more force. As her lips open with shock, John dives in, without thought, it's like his mouth and tongue has a life of their own. Warm, moist tongues collide, and then he breaks the kiss, pulling her head back by her hair. The intensity was about to burn him up alive, so instead, he gets hold of her ear lobe, then moves onto her neck, right in front of her earlobe. As her breathing become more rapid and his restraint weakens, she pulls his head up again to capture his lips with her own. He buries his hands deeper in her hair, pulling her around, and pushing her over the side of the couch until they fall onto it's soft confines._

When could this have happened? She didn't say a word about missing any memories? Perhaps this time Stefano is really just playing with his head?

Hope spots him, smiles, breezes over, and slaps the previous case file down on the table as she sits down.

"Coffee, please. Or no, I feel like some tea today, with lemon please." She smiles at the waitress.

John spaces out.

"_Why don't you just tell me what you're up to, Gina?" John asks, looking down at Gina's hair, where she is sitting, sipping her tea at Hope's usual table at the Java Café._

"_Have a seat and perhaps I'll tell you." his hand lingers for another second on her shoulder, while she refuses to turn around. Then his hand slips off and he rounds the table._

"_Well?" he asks, waiting for an answer._

_She tilts her head, looking at him from under her lashes._

"_Well, what? You are obviously aware of half of my situation."_

"_Mmm, the Gina half, so why don't you tell me the rest? What were you doing in my house?"_

"_Looking for Stefano's shipping documents."_

"_Shipping documents?" he gives a humorless laugh. "You expect me to believe that?"_

"_It is of no concern to me what you do or not believe." she puts down her cup, stands up and leaves, then he pulls her back, rather forcefully by her upper arm._

"_Shipping documents?"_

"_You may not understand this John, but if I am to stay around, and not go back to being Hope, the only way is to stay useful and if Steffi wants his shipping papers, then that is what he gets." She pries his fingers off of her arm and shoves his hand back at him. "Now, if you'll excuse, I am going over to __**your**__ house to fetch it." _

_As she reaches her car and get in, she looks back to see him still standing exactly where she had left him, then she starts up the car and drives off. _

"_So that's the game you are playing, dear brother." John mutters under his breath, staring after her taillights._

John gasps, as he comes back to reality.

"John? Are you okay?" Hope's hand is on his arm. He looks down at it, alarmed at the electrifying affect it has, then shrugs it off, scraping his chair on the floor as he backs away.

"I'm fine." He answers, gruffly.

"Ok…" Hope doesn't sound convinced.

"So, what's this proposal of Abe's?" he asks, hoping to get down to business so he can get back to… well, not the Inn, but at least away from _her_…

"Ok. I'm getting there…" she smiles at the waitress bringing her order, "Thanks."

John sits forward as she opens the file, and also sits forward.

"I went through the report this morning and skimmed the file of the previous case… The previous investigation into Dimera shipping was done on all the finances. There is no fraud, or any other illegal activities that can be identified through the company's books. So Abe wants us to broaden the investigation, hoping that Stefano will not expect that and cover his tracks as well as he did with his Salem branch…"

"So, where do I come in?"

"Well, you still, currently, own half of the company, and even if you were to sign over to Stefano, as the investigation will be into the past couple of years, that will include the time that you owned the company as well as the times that you owned part of it, which would make you prosecutable as well. Now, and I am quoting Abe, if we can in some way hypnotize you for inside information, and have proof of your full cooperation, we can fake a deal when the case goes to trail, in other words, as Abe said: Save you, while still taking down Stefano."

John nods, looking thoughtful.

"And if I don't remember?" John feels uneasy with the whole hypnotizing thing. If they hypnotize him, they'll probably get the answers they are looking for, but they could be opening Pandora's box, what with all these strange memories of Hope… Gina.

"At least we can say that you gave your full cooperation, and were helping us, the investigators."

"When exactly was the previous case conducted?"

Hope opens the file and reads the dates back to him.

"That's just before my memory returned. Do you think that might've been part of the reason?"

"Could be…"

"Hope, did you notice anything during the time you conducted the investigation, between me and Stefano, I mean?"

Hope gets a blank look, then looks down, and answers vaguely.

"As I said before, you and I weren't exactly close, so I don't know."

"She's hiding something…" John realizes, then before he can question her further, her phone rings.

"Oh, Hi, Abe. Yes, I am sitting here with him now… Okay, will do."

She hangs up.

"I have to get back to the station, and get the ball rolling. Abe says not to worry. We'll make sure Stefano doesn't pull you down with him."

* * *

John sips at the take-away coffee he ordered after Hope left, and peer out, staring at nothing in particular. He is sitting on a bench, in the park, hoping to organize his thoughts in a way that starts making sense.

He goes over the conversation with Hope earlier.

"Hope was being very vague… Did she see something between myself and Stefano that last week that she didn't want to tell me?"

Then he goes over the rest of the conversation. Hope said she went through the report this morning, and yet on the case file it says that she was the investigating officer… and when he asked her when the investigation was conducted, she checked the file for the dates.

"She doesn't remember." The realization confirms his worst fears. Needing something to calm himself, he lights the cigar he bought that morning. Not exactly the fancy stuff he found in his drawers, but it will do.

And that is why she couldn't give him an answer, why she had been so vague. She doesn't have a clue if she noticed anything different during that time.

A new memory hits him.

"_Well done, well done." Stefano Dimera raises a glass to John and Gina, "to a job well done… It is almost like the good, old days…"_

_He turns his back to them to pour them each a celebratory drink, at that moment, John flicks his tongue over her earlobe, and whisper: _

"_When do you think we can get outa' here…" His finger is trailing up her arm to her shoulder. His intention, clear as a bell, creating a shiver of excitement running up Gina's spine._

_Stefano turns back, handing them their drinks._

"_Salutè!" they agree, and clink. Déjà vu. He has been here before… Stefano toasting their success, Gina and himself hoping to get away as soon as possible, fantasizing about what they'll do to one another when given the chance of being alone…_

"_Well, Gina, you certainly have not lost your touch… These reports are done so thoroughly, even a handwriting expert will not be able to find a shadow out of place in it…" _

_Gina smiles: "Off course, Steffi, I am the best at what I do, after all…"_

"_Touché. And I have a surprise for you, both of you, I am sending you to Naples for the weekend – all expenses paid…"_

John gasps, shaking his head, then takes a deep, deep drag of the cigar.

"Off course no-one can find anything out of place with the finances, since Gina fixed them when she was supposed to be investigating it! Damn you, Dimera!"

John throws down the rest of the cigar, stomps on it, and walks off, determined to face Stefano for the first time since he had regained his memory.

* * *

"Rolf, please open that door before the police are called in for "disturbance of the peace"…" Stefano orders, staring at his chess board.

Rolf makes his way to the front door where someone is hammering, really loudly.

He opens it, and steps aside as John blazes in.

"I need to talk to you." He proclaims loudly as he enters the drawing room.

"Yes, John? How can I help you now? Are you signing my company back to me?"

"To hell with your company. I have come here for answers."

Stefano shakes his head.

"John, John… Haven't we had this conversation at least a dozen times over the years?"

"Depends, if you give me some answers, this will be a first."

"What are you going on about now?" Stefano sighs, turns away from his chest board, and faces John. "Cigar?"

No answer.

"What? A couple of weeks ago you were rubbing it in my face that you are smoking my cigars."

"Oh? Was I? And then what happened to change that?"

"You got your memory back." Stefano states simply. "Is this a trick question?."

"Yes, but why? Where did my memory suddenly appear from? Why did you change me back?"

"Change you… My dear John, you give me far too much credit."

"Bull. You know and I know, you have done it so many times, you must've perfected your technique by now.. What I want to know is: Why? To get your company back? Did I know too much? Why?" By the end of John's questions, he has Stefano by the lapels of his Jacket.

"Temper, John."

John exhales slowly, and regains control of his emotions. Slowly he backs away, leaving Stefano to iron out the creases of his jacket with his hands.

Stefano starts smiling as he realizes that he is in the perfect position to take revenge.

"You really want to know how you got your memory back?"

"Yes. That is why I came here…" John's voice is climbing again, with frustration.

"Well, then, why don't you ask your dear Marlena about that?"


	23. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

"Hi, Hope… I haven't heard of any progress on the case yet. When will John being going for another hypnoses session?"

Hope sighs into the phone.

"Abe, to be honest, I don't know. John has been avoiding me the whole week. Whenever I ask him, he backs away. It is almost like he is scared to remember, if you ask me."

"Well, you know he _has_ been through a lot, but he will have to do the session at some point, even if it is just for us to have something to make a deal with… If Stefano takes him down as well, Stefano will win again."

"I know what you mean Abe… I'll try him again, see if I can get an answer out of him. You know, if I didn't know any better, I would say that he is avoiding me, specifically. I just can't imagine why…"

* * *

Hope dials John's number at the Inn.

No answer.

She tries his cell next.

Not available at present. Not even a voicemail box.

"Okay…. What's next Hope?" she mutters to herself.

"It's weekend, maybe he's with Marlena?"

Hopeful, she dials Marlena's townhouse's landline number.

Marlena looks up as the phone starts ringing, then carries on reading the file in front of her, trying to concentrate on her notes. Defeated, she sighs, and goes to answer. It doesn't look like whoever it is. is going to give up….

"Marlena Black."

"Hi, Marlena, it's Hope."

"Oh, Hi, Hope. How have you been?"

"Oh, Fine, just fine… Except for this new case I am working on. John isn't there by any chance?"

"John? No. I think he has been avoiding me… we..ah.. . I have been battling to come to terms with him being back, and…"

"I'm sure it can't be easy after everything… but don't lose hope, things will get better. You know he loves you."

Yes, but you don't know what I know, why I am battling to accept him back in my life… About that little question. If he got his memory back, without the last year disappearing, would he have chosen me, or _her_? Would he still be making love to that… Marlena shakes her head, trying to clear the silent conversation in her mind…

"Yes… Have you tried his cellphone?"

"Yes, and the landline at the Inn, I think he's been avoiding me as well. This case I'm working on, it involves Dimera shipping and Abe wants him to get hypnotized again. I think he's afraid of what he might remember…"

"Hypnotized?" Marlena sounds alarmed.

"Yes. He may have information, inside information, that's still locked in his mind."

"Sorry, Hope, I'll tell him you're looking for him – that is _if_ I see him…"

"Thanks Marlena…"

After hanging up, Hope stares at the phone. Marlena reacted very strangely to John being hypnotized again.

"Why is everyone acting so strangely?" Hope wonders out loud.

* * *

Bo is wondering the same thing, as he bites into a slice of Pizza…

John is missing in action, Marlena is strangely tense, and Hope… well, now Hope is on a whole different planet of strange. It has been over a month since her accident, and for some reason, their love making has dwindled down to a couple of kisses over the past couple of weeks. She loves him, he knows that, but she seems to be avoiding spending time alone with him. He looks up as she leaves her office and heads over to him.

She sits down, looking miserable.

"Fancy face, 're you alright?"

She smiles, looking really tired.

"Yes, I suppose. I'm going to take off early, have an early night. This case I'm working on at the moment seems to be going no where." She sighs… "I'm just so tired."

Bo looks at her and realizes that there are bags under her eyes.

He reaches over and takes her hand.

"Okay, Fancy face. I hope you are not coming down with something. I'll see you tonight."

* * *

With a frustrated sigh, John leaves his Doctor's office.

"Okay, so if he won't help me, where can I go?" he wonders out loud.

His Doctor is refusing to give him more sleeping pills, mainly because of the fact that he has a history of getting addicted to painkillers, and sleeping pills could produce the same problem. But he has to get some. He has to have one night of sleep, no memories, just heavenly, knock-out, no memory, sleep.

For the past week he has had to cope with memory flashes, night and day, sleeping at night has turned into a journey of the past year… It is amazing the amount of stuff that can happen in one year. You don't realize until you start having flashes. He remembers a lot. He remembers some details of Dimera shipping's inner workings, Hope will be happy to hear, not that he knows how he can face her, be alone with her, have an actual conversation with her….

He remembers Ireland, trying to kill Bo… another person he has been avoiding out of guilt, his mother… and the most painful memory of all, how he treated her… Throwing Marlena into a door…. He is starting to understand why she is battling to accept him… Ava… he has had a couple of flashes, giving him a pretty good idea of their relationship, how it started and ended. Hope wasn't kidding when she said it looked like he was just keeping her on, allowing her to tag along, that is what he was doing. That is the kind of man he was, keeping a broken woman on for , well, entertainment. Ava wasn't exactly without pain, and he used her, just because she wasn't part of his own, real life, looking for the the 'real' John... Hollingsworth. Yep, he even kidnapped a man, bribed a customs official, threatened Philip on numerous occasions. He is starting to understand why everyone was so mistrusting of him when he first got his memory back. What he still doesn't know… How did things with Gina end? Did it end, or were they both transformed back at the same time? Why was he changed back? Will he ever know? And why did Stefano tell him to go ask Marlena? He can't face her. The guilt of what he was feeling with Gina is making it difficult to even imagine facing her, knowing what he knows, and keeping it a secret. But what scares him the most of the memories, is how alive he felt in those last couple of weeks with Gina, compared to all the other memories he had of basically taking over Stefano's life, and enjoying it in a malicious, evil, cold kind of way…

Reaching the park, John walks idly through the trees. He has nowhere to go, and besides he is still trying to solve his more immediate problem… getting a full night's rest. As he rounds more trees, he says Marlena talking to a strange man.

"Why is something telling me this guy is a PI?" John mutters under his breath, and sneaks closer to hear the tail-end of the conversation.

Marlena: "...that woman?"

PI: "Isn't hypnosis something you as a therapist can manipulate? Only ask him the questions that are relevant."

Marlena: "But what if he remembers everything? I can't forget, and I haven't even looked at the pictures or tried to identify that... that..."

PI: "Look lady, I am just the paid snoop, I can't solve your problem, now I get that you can't talk to anyone else, since you want to keep things like hush-hush, but I have work to do..."

The PI swings around looking very annoyed, Marlena stays behind looking like her life has come to an end. Then her phone rings...

"Hello? (pause) Oh, I am So sorry, please tell the patient to give me 5 minutes, I'll give her discount on the session." Then she hurries off.

John arches an eyebrow. He is starting to feel uneasy, as if he is stuck in the twilight zone. Something is definitely not right... He checks the time, and heads for the Townhouse that, by right, should be his home...


	24. Chapter 23

A/N hi' Guys! I want to appologise for the lack of editing in the story going forward. I am uploading from my phone and editing is close to impossible. A/N end.

Chapter 23

Hope sighs, pushing her hair back, and not feeling better, fluffs it a bit and let it fall forward, then pulls it back in a mock ponytail with her hands, all the while staring with unseeing eyes at the computer screen in front of her. She sighs again, then drops her hands, letting her hair fall where it may.

"This case is going nowhere." She mutters, silently contemplating, driving around Salem, and throttling John once she finds him. They need him for this investigation. At this point they don't even have a starting point.

Earlier, she and Abe decided that she should go undercover as an employee at the New York branch, but for her to be assured that she would be hired, they need someone pulling the strings from higher up in the company, and in this case, the only person they can ask, is John.

Again she tries his cell phone.

She smiles as she is met with ringing on the other end, then her mouth falls open with indignation as the ringing dies again. He cut her off! He actually hung up on her!

With a look of determination, she picks up the phone and dials.

"Salem Inn, front desk. How can I make your day?"

"Hi, This is commissioner Hope Brady from SPD, and I need some information on one of your long term residents. "

"Yes, uh… Commissioner."

"The person is question is Mr. John Black."

"Oh yes, the handsome one that always looks like he's going to bite your head off?"

Hope rolls her eyes, that does sound like the New-old John Black. Grumpy as hell.

"Yep, that's the one. Has he checked out yet?"

"No ma'am, still here."

"Room number?"

"14."

"Thank you. Please keep this between us, Mr. Black is a key person in one of our investigations and I do not want him running off."

"Is he in trouble…?" The lady asks, sensing some great gossip coming.

"Nope, we just need his help. Thank you."

"Okay… Have a nice day!"

Next Hope phones Abe.

"Hi, Abe? I am officially stalking John, will have the opening in the case we need by morning."

Then she phones Bo.

"Hi, Brady, I'll be late tonight… Nope, no lead, just trying to pin down…someone for our investigation."

After the call, she realizes she almost told Bo who, and that would probably not be a good idea. Bo is still a little skeptical towards John, especially since he is avoiding every one. If he hears that John is even avoiding the case, it may just send his imagination running wild. She can't afford to let anything compromise this case. It could be their last chance to take to down Stefano.

John sighs, as he guiltily slips his phone back into his pocket, after hanging up on the call he just received. He snuck into the townhouse, and would prefer for his neighbors not to know that anyone is home. Al though in his current state of Salem Inn residency, 'home' is probably not the correct word to use.

He surveys the lounge, feeling an unease build in him. He doesn't feel welcome anymore. He doesn't feel loved, or wanted, or home. He expected at least a bit of nostalgia, and yet, all he feels is trapped. Trapped in a new world that doesn't make sense. He shakes his head, then heads down the hallway to start scratching through Marlena's drawers.

He should feel guilty. Intellectually, he knows this, and yet, nothing. He sighs, and realizes that he is changing. The Roman Brady persona Stefano created isn't dominant anymore, instead he is turning into himself. A man. A complete man.

Softly he whispers, ending the thought out loud, with a little smile.

"A man with a childhood."

Finding nothing, he reaches for the safe, only to find that Marlena had changed the combination.

"Mmm, there must be something in here, she doesn't want me to find. I was the only other person who knew the combination."

He rolls his eyes. He is John Black, not Stefano's pawn, not Roman Brady, a common beatcop, he is a man with his own life experiences, his own tools, his own emotions. Thinking all these thoughts brings through a little feeling of being whole, but he doesn't have time to dwell on it, since in his mind he is back to being the sixteen year old petty thief that haven't yet had some training from Stefano. He puts his ear to the safe door, and in seconds swings open the door. He had been a pretty good thief at 12, at sixteen, you could in fact call him a career criminal, by 21, he had volunteered to the resident crime boss' son, Stefano Dimera, for training as an assassin, by 25 he was… willing to throw it all away to run away with Gina. Betray the man that was his best friend for many years, let go of all the excitement he craved and chased his entire teen and young adult years and just disappear. He always thought that all those other persona's, Father John, the priest, Father John the art smuggler, all these flashes of memories, where a fake man Stefano created, now he remembers everything, it was a real man that Stefano destroyed with Roman's personality.

Shrugging of the building rage, he reaches into the safe, and finds an A4 sized envelope, thick with small and big objects inside. He has to know how Marlena had been involved in his memory coming back. He tries to tell himself that he should be grateful, even though he feels as if he was given a clean slate at the beginning of the year, was allowed to become his own person, and once he started building a life, the rug got pulled out from under him, and he woke up in the Salem Inn as the man he was for the past twenty five years. He swallows the rage again, telling himself he should be grateful for having the opportunity to be whole again, a real man, knowing his entire life and past, and accepting himself for who he is.

He closes the safe, and sneaks back out, his precious cargo inside his jacket. He has an instinctive feeling that his newest treasure is for personal, at-home viewing only.


	25. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

"Yes, John." Hope says as he rounds the hallway to his room, to find Hope standing in front of the door. "You have officially forced me to start stalking you. I get that you have your own personal issues to work through, but I need to close this case."

John sighs, feeling emotionally tired from everything he has learned over the last couple of weeks, and feeling slightly alarmed at the current that shoots up his arm, as Hope hooks her arm around his.

"I just need a.. phonecall… and if that doesn't work, an e-mail.."

John unlocks the door and Hope steps through first plopping down on his sofa, as if she wants to make sure that he doesn't go in and shut the door on her. Ironically, the thought had crossed his mind.

He closes the door, feeling as if he is suffocating from her mere presence, then he reaches inside his jacket and pulls out the envelope. He puts it on the coffee table, and sits down, staring at it.

If he understands correctly, this particular envelope has probably got photo's of memories, he at first thought was too intense to be real. Suddenly Hope's hand is on it, and he snatches up the envelope.

"John? What is in there? Can it help us with the case?" Hope jumped up right along with him.

John shakes his head, then finds his voice.

"No, no, it has nothing to do with the case, but it could be Pandora's box."

"Where did you get it?" Hope asks intrigued.

"Stole it." John says, matter-of-factly.

"You what?" Hope looks shocked

John turns back to her, she sits back down, almost falling as her legs give out.

"What's wrong Hope? Don't give me the whole holier-than-thou speech about right and wrong. Sometimes life is about survival, and then normal rules don't apply."

"But stealing is a bit…"

"Heavy?" John sighs, finally realizing why he feels trapped. He finally knows who he is, he finally accepts himself, wants to be himself. He is not a good person, he doesn't consider himself a bad person, but he knows by Salem standards, he would probably not be called the good guy. They will never, Hope will never, accept him as he is.

"Tell me, Hope, if I told you that in that envelope is something you did in your life, that you have no memory of, and I then put it in a locked drawer and walk out of here, can you swear on your life that you will not break open the lock and take this envelope?"

Hope opens her mouth, then closes it again, then sighs.

"I see your point."

John puts the envelope on the table and sits down on the couch, next to Hope, stretching his over-tired body.

"So, what is it that I can do for you?"

Hope turns to him, pulling her one leg, knee-bent onto the couch, before she answers.

"I need you to organize me a job at Dimera Shipping New York."

"Oh?" Hope sighs with relieve as she sees a flicker of interest in John's eyes. "Are you going under cover?"

"Yep, that's the plan."

John is silent for the moment.

"I need to get out of Salem. Is there some way I can join you? Legally, I mean, going undercover."

Hope looks surprised, then seems to gather herself.

"Depends, the only way this will work is if you stop avoiding me."

John looks uncomfortable, then stares at the envelope.

"It depends on whether we can still be friends…."

"But of course.."

"You don't understand Hope. I need to be me."

Hope stares at him looking very confused. John turns on his side of the couch, facing her, mirroring the way she is sitting with her one bent leg on the couch.

"I'm not the same John you remember, Hope. I…. am whole now."

Hope reaches forward, and grabs his hand. John flinches.

"Do you remember your life John? Do you remember what you did for Stefano when you were under his control? Can you prove his dealings?"

John pulls his hand away.

"That part is off limits. I won't tell you anything if you don't promise to never talk about investigating those crimes again."

"John? I don't understand. For years we wanted to take Stefano down for controlling you and for what ever it is that he made you do."

"He didn't make me do anything Hope. Stefano never controlled me."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, Stefano never controlled me. The first time he messed with my brain is when he sent me to Salem as "The Pawn" and fed me Roman's boring personality."

Hope shakes her head.

"It can't be John. You are the most moral…"

He cuts her off with a rueful laugh.

"I am everything but moral…. You know what, just leave it. I'll make the call."

As he moves to get off of the couch, Hope grabs his arm.

"I'm sorry, John? Sit, please? I promise to keep an open mind."

"Right. I'm sorry Hope, you can't change who you are. I'll make the call, I'll stay a part-owner of Dimera shipping, I'll help in the investigation as much as I can. And when you hang Stefano, I'll laugh at him through his burglar bars, and then leave Salem."

He looks down at his arm, where Hope has still got hold of him.

"I'm not letting you go. I want to know more. You're my best friend John, when you died, a piece of me died with you, and when we found you, the loss was even greater when you pushed us all aside. I'm not letting you walk away again, whatever happened in your past."

John feels his resolve melting, as he relaxes back onto the couch. He can drown in those chocolate and green eyes pleading into his. Then he tares his eyes away. This is dangerous territory, he realizes. She isn't Gina, even though her presence unnerves him, even though her stubbornness pulls him to her, even though he knows her inside and out. He knows that she will not accept him. He decides to drive the final nail into the coffin of their friendship. To get it over and done with.

He'll tell her his life's tale.


	26. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

"I'll tell you my life's story, but on one condition. What I tell you today will never leave this room. You will not interrupt, and you will keep your judgments to yourself, when I am done, I will keep my end of the bargain regarding the case, and you will probably leave and not speak to me again."

"The last part is not likely, but okay, start from the beginning."

"I grew up in New York…"

"Seriously?"

"Yes, didn't you promise not to interrupt?"

"Sorry."

"Anyway, my adoptive parents, Aunt Viv's brother, was a wealthy man, but stingy, even though his wife, Marie doted on me as a little boy, he wasn't going to share his fortune with an adopted brat. I associated money with power since I was very small, by the time I was 12, I was what today can be called a petty thief. I was ashamed of never having money, when the whole world new that my father was affluent, a third generation rich business man, coming from what the upper east side liked to call "old money." Oh, yes, I went to a private boarding school, but that was to keep me out of his way. That was the way it was done."

"Oh please, I had parents who loved me and I was still carted off to a private boarding school…"

"Yes, but you had an allowance, I did not. In fact, I had to wear a second-hand uniform. You know…" he stares off in the distance, leaving his story as he voices his thoughts, "criminals are people too, even your biggest crime boss had a reason for getting into the biz. So you grow up without a moral filter and you end up losing your conscience along the way. It can happen to anyone…"

He grows quiet, lost in thought.

"That doesn't seem so bad." Hope offers.

John comes back to reality, and looks at Hope.

"Do you know why me and Gina were so perfect?"

Hope looks surprised at the change of topic…

"You loved each other…" she offers, he cuts her off, shaking his head.

"We _were_ each other. It was easy to fall in love, and perhaps the excitement of the heists fueled our desires even more, brought an element of danger as an aphrodisiac, but before lust and passion and love could follow, there was acceptance. She had no conscience and she couldn't judge my lack of one."

Hope is silent, she doesn't know what to say. She had an idea what their relationship was like from what he told her back in 2001, and she had a couple of Gina's lingering memories, but he put it into perspective. She always thought that his relationship with Gina was orchestrated by Stefano, that John was being controlled by him, that all the bad things he did was because he was brainwashed, and that that is the reason he could be with a woman like that.

"How did you end up working for Stefano?"

"Hmmm, old Steffi, you know I trusted him with my life. He was a couple of years older than me, I knew him by reputation, the crime lord, Santo dimera's son, revered in the underground of crime in New York city back then. Yes, he was in New York for quite a long time, although as I understand, Stefano was born to his Italian father, in Ireland… If I knew back then that Santo's was my father… I would probably have been very keen to take up my rightful place in the business… Anyway, by the time I orchestrated a chance meeting with Stefano, I had a pretty good reputation in my own right. You want something stolen, get hold of old Forrest, he'll make it disappear and reappear in your hands before the owner even knew it was missing. That was what they used to say. Off course when me and Stefano met, we hit it off right away, he saw potential in me, and I saw my way to fame in him. I convinced him to take me on as a trainee assassin, I was tired with burglary, I had mastered it, it was time to graduate and move on."

"My God, John."

"He never controlled me. I wasn't joking when I said that."

"How many people did you kill?"

"I lost count, probably a couple of thousand… There was this one time, at the Duke of Arlington's ball while Gina was stealing the first Renet, that the Duke's son walked in on the safe as she was busy. I snapped his neck before he could make a sound, and dumped him into the well at the back of the house. Two years ago, it was all over the papers that the Duke's missing son's body was found in the family well, and that his father was being investigated for the murder. At the time, I didn't follow the story well, as I had no idea of my involvement, so what had happened to the old man, I don't know."

Hope feel a chill going down her spine as she listens to John, wondering why he is telling her in such detail. Is it a warning not to cross him? Not to tell anyone? Or does he really need to get it off his chest, out of his conscience. She looks closer at him ,but see no guilt or remorse. At that moment John remembers her presence and he turns his head to her. Their eyes lock. Hope feels another chill as she doesn't recognize her John in his eyes.

"Are you cold? Do you want some coffee? I can call room service?" he asks, seeing her shiver, and at the last minute deciding not to put his hand on her upper arm.

"Um…" Hope feels as if she is sitting with a stranger in a hotel room, where no-one even knows she is, and suddenly she feel a little fearful. Peering over at John, she decides to just forge ahead, he needs her. Without her, he'll go down right along with Stefano, although that doesn't sound like such a bad idea right about now. "Do you have some sherry?"

"Always."

He hands her, her glass after pouring, then asks.

"Would you mind if I smoked?"

She surprises herself by replying.

"I think I need a drag myself."

John lifts an eyebrow, but doesn't comment, as she pulls her bag closer, and starts scratching through it. After the third time of catching herself having a midnight smoke, she fetched the packet from Gina's hiding spot and dumped it in her bag, meaning to throw it out, somewhere far away from home. She never did, she forgot. Now, she feels grateful, as she lights up, appreciating the burning in her throat, that isn't use to the feel of it. She gives a cough from the scratching, then takes another drag with no cough…

John takes a surprised drag from his cigar.

Hope takes another sip from her sherry, and remarks.

"I underestimated the calming power of nicotine." Then turning to face him, sitting on his new favorite spot in the window sill, she asks: "Why are you telling me all this? Why so much detail? Why… What are you trying to tell me?" She takes another drag, then asks the question she really wants to ask. "Are you threatening to kill me if I tell anyone?"

John chuckles.

"Do you really think that?" then the humor leaves his face, and it becomes haunted. "No Hope, I am telling you because I need a friend, a friend who will accept me as I am, a friend who could live with what I am… and even though I can't imagine you being remotely fine with all this, I impulsively thought that you could…." He shakes his head not finishing his sentence… Then hardening his heart at the inevitable rejection, he tells her what he wants her to know. "I am not Roman, Hope, and all that crap that he believes that was brainwashed into me, is gone, it's replaced with me. I am finally the man I was born, and that will not change, my little dallying with morality because of Stefano, is not going to turn me into a good guy. I am not the good guy type, and I don't want to be. It's not in my blood…"

As Hope stubs out a cigarette, she remembers something John said years ago on the submarine…

"I'm tired of playing good guys, it's hard enough pretending to be father John… I wanna be bad, I wanna be bad with you…" she blinks away the passion that followed. Then she looks at him, and realizes, that if she felt nervous around roboJohn, this is even worse. In front of her is the man that made love to her on the submarine.


	27. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

Hope stubs out her cigarette, feeling like she wants to run away from this room forever, and yet, at the same time, so deeply fascinated with John's life that she can't get up to leave. She is staring at him, and she knows that he is aware of her staring. After tonight she will not be able to look at him the same way again. This familiar stranger in front of her is captivating. He looks just like John, her best friend, her rock, and yet, looking closely, she can see the difference in him. His posture is more rigid, his hands more sure, the way he holds his head, more arrogant, and his eyes more… more… she cannot find the word to describe the expression they hold, colder, yet more smoldering, worldly, yet primitive, he seems to be a mix of cold strength and danger, yet there is a fire in him that she had experienced first hand. This is not John, this is… taboo….

Realizing that she is noticing things about him that as a married woman she should be blind to she decides to rather go home, ye again her gaze lingers on him… the strength in his hands, the flex of his muscles on his biceps, the shadow on his shoulder blades where his vest goes… no, not a shadow, it looks like… a wing?

"It can't be…." She breathes, so softly that John doesn't even know she spoke, then she gathers her things.

"I need to go… " he looks up.

"Wait!"

"I not leaving for good John…" she rambles as she moves to the door, "You haven't lost my friendship, and we'll continue this conversation, and we still need to discuss the case, just not now. I have to get out of here…" Before reaching the door, her eyes fall on a mirror next to the door, on a little table. A mirror she knows very well, a mirror she had looked into every night since the accident. A mirror with a meaning she cannot stop to contemplate now.

As the door slams shut behind her, John stares at it in silence, then takes a drag of his cigar.

Of all the reactions in the world, this is not what he expected. Hope pretending to be fine with everything, so as not to hurt him, yes, that will make sense, or the other route, Hope flying off the handle being a goody-two-shoes judging the hell out of him, yes, looking like she saw a sudden ghost, with no reprimands or pretentions? No….

Then a thought strikes him, a thought that brings a smile to his lips, a smile that he shouldn't be having.

Suppose Hope just had a memory?

"I don't know Marlena… Something is definitely wrong."

"Well, it is as you said Bo, she has been working awfully hard." Marlena takes a sip of her coffee.

These days she hates being on her own, but can't work 24/7. When Bo phoned, saying Hope is working late again, and he needs a woman's perspective on something, she jumped at the chance to meet him at the Java café.

"Yeah, have you ever felt like someone is intentionally pushing you away? All her actions and words says she love me, only her actions also say that love apparently doesn't include feeling a physical attraction. It's like she can't get away from me fast enough."

"Have you ever thought of asking her about it?"

"And say what?"

Bo downs his coffee…

"Well, that is my life, How are things with you and John?"

"Me and John?" Marlena gives a bitter laugh, "Have you ever done something completely out-of-character, for the greater good, and then afterwards wondered why you even bothered? I don't think we'll ever be together again. I know things about his life when he was that other man, that I just can't get over, and John has… lost patience with me."

Bo looks sympathetic, and miserable at the same time, then jumps as his phone rings.

"Victor? (pause) Okay, I'll be right over."

Bo hangs up, looking alarmed.

"Is everything okay, Bo?"

"Nope, it doesn't sound like it… Victor said it's an emergency, someone's life is in danger."

As he rushes off, Marlena stirs her coffee, wondering how everything in her life is falling apart. Perhaps she had operated wrongly by blackmailing Stefano, but the fact that she and John aren't together, can still be laid at Stefano's feet. Their lives were perfect, and then he just snatched John away.

Hope is staring. Just staring, not at anything particular. She feels… she can't find a word to describe what she feels. Disturbed. Spooked. Scared. Vulnerable. Guiltily excited, yet trying hard to deny it. What the hell is happening to their lives? Nothing is the way it should be, everything is upside down.

In Salem things have always been John (the good guy, moral upstanding citizen) and Marlena, Bo and Hope, partners at home and work, Stefano the evil one, the four of them believing that good will win in the end. And love. Her and Bo's love, John and Marlena's love. And the four of them hanging out, supporting each other in bad times, and celebrating together in good. Now, she feels as if she has not only lost control of her own life, but with the normal Salem reality too.

How did things become so messed up? John has decided to go evil, no Steffi-involved, Did she just say "Steffi"? John's influence. She shakes her head. And him and Marlena are barely on speaking terms, and what spooks her the most, they are not even mad at each other, and it doesn't even look like John has any interest in closing the communication gap. And then herself and Bo? On the surface everything looks fine, and yet just under the surface, she knows Bo is starting to realize that she doesn't want him to touch her… and those damn memories. She finally admits to herself that those flashes are from the missing three weeks. Even more disturbing than the whole topsy-turvy Salem, is those memories, memories that… she gets another chill down her spine, as she admits to herself what she realized but refused to accept in John's room at the Salem Inn… Those memories involve John. Again.

She scratches in her bag, bravely fighting the thoughts coming next, clutching Gina's packet of cigarettes, then dumping them back in her bag, determined not to become an emotional smoker.

It's no use fighting it. When you realize something, as much as you refuse to accept it, you have to. That man she saw tonight remembers everything. That means he remembers what happened in those three weeks, whatever it was. It means, that for whatever reason, Gina being a very probable cause, she had made love to that man just a few weeks ago. And he knows it.

She can feel her cheeks flaming, and thanks the cover of darkness, and the isolation the trees provide in the park.

Eventually, she gives up the struggle, since she refuses to leave and go drown her sorrows in a bar, she takes the other alternative that may, hopefully, provide some comfort. She pulls her bag closer, and this time, with no hesitation, pulls out one of Gina's cigarettes, brings it to her lips and lights it. The burning sensation is less than earlier, but still comforting.

As she looks at the glow at the end, she ponders why, after everything she has been through in her life, she has now given up and became one of those self-medicating, self-comforting, and self-destructive people. Why else would she give in to smoking, when she never did after any Gina period before?


	28. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

John is still sitting on the window sill, smoking another cigar. He has lost track of time. Hope left hours ago, and in the pitch black outside he can hear early morning birds starting to chirp. The chirping of the birds makes him realize that the night is nearly over, and that he had spent the entire night thinking.

Thinking about his life, thinking about his future, thinking about Stefano, and how Stefano betrayed him all those years ago, before he had the chance to be the betrayer by running off with Gina.

Thinking about what could have been, were it not for Stefano, or if Colleen didn't hide him from his father, and he grew up with his birthright. Would he have been more moral or less? Would he ever have met Gina, or what if he never met Stefano? Would he have became a force to be reckoned with, and competed with the Dimera empire, or would he have met a nice young girl and settled into a Roman-type suburban lifestyle?

The last part seems unlikely. If Stefano hadn't sent him to Salem as Roman, and he, as himself met Marlena on the street, would they ever have had a relationship? He doubts it. She is the exact opposite of what he wants out of life. She is secure and stable and moral and well, stuck. The type of person that the phrase "tied down" was invented for.

Then he gives a rueful laugh, but then again, the same can be said of Hope, and yet, without his moral filter, he finds it difficult to think of a reason not to try and seduce her… not just into his bed, but into freedom, away from this boring suburban existence.

If you take her out of this life, let her taste freedom and adventure, would she really want to return to it? That may very well be the reason she did the whole bounty-hunter gig a couple of years back, and apart from her modeling career, always end up returning to the force. Perhaps she craves the excitement? The danger?

He thinks back to the time they spend in the jungle with Stefano. What a waste of their precious time to save boring old Roman, and yet, it was fun, it was exciting, it was the first time he really got to know Hope, even after everything else they shared. They were stuck in the jungle, just the two of them against the natives and the wild and the elements, and he remembers the excitement in her eyes, mirrored in his soul… Yes, who knows if Hope would return to this stale environment if he can show her something more… The temptation is overwhelming.

Slowly he straightens his legs, muscles tight from the way he had been sitting the whole night, then he moves over to the couch he occupied with Hope earlier. As he looks at the spot she sat, he thinks back to a time, not so long ago, that he had her pinned on that very couch, just before they both rolled over onto the floor, feverish with passion.

Yes, the temptation is overwhelming.

He reaches over to the envelope on the coffee table. He feels certain that Stefano only hinted at some kind of, what? Blackmail type situation? Involving Marlena, hoping to drive a wedge between them. John rolls his eyes, wondering where the wedge is suppose to go when there is nothing to wedge it into.

Oh well, perhaps what is in here can be used in some way to further his own agenda?

"Let me get this straight." Hope states, hoping somehow that there has been some misunderstanding, then she glowers at Bo again, and repeats, "Let me get this straight. Your ex is moving in with us, into our house, our family's house, with you, me and Ciara?"

"Hope just calm down… Victor asked me to protect her, it is just until the danger is over…"

"Well, as I understand she killed the man she left you for, so when exactly will the danger be over? This month, next month, next year?"

"Hope, please, I need you to understand, you are a good person, surely you can find it in your heart to help Carly?"

Hope blinks, once, twice, then shakes her head to get rid of the roaring in her ears. She doesn't have the strength to deal with this as well, not with everything else going. How is she supposed to even consider telling Bo the truth about, well, what she suspects happened between her and John during those three weeks, with that… that.. hussy in their house?

"Please Hope, be the better person…"

Suddenly something in Hope snaps, and she throws down the empty cup she had been holding. Pieces fly all over the lounge.

"I am tired of being 'the better person" and I am tired of everyone always walking all over me. I've been turning my cheek for years… No Brady, this is not happening."

She grabs her bag, and slams the door on her way out.

As she pulls away, she realizes that she has no where to go, but to drive around aimlessly. Then as she nears the highway, she makes a split second decision. She has to get out of Salem, she has to clear her head, she must find a way to regroup, even if it is just to be calm enough to handle the situation better. Either way, she is not allowing her husband's ex to stay with them. She takes the on ramp to Los Angeles.


	29. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

John smirks as he opens the envelope. He has a pretty good idea of what he'll find. He pulls out the report, and skims through it, quickly.

It is pretty much accurate, just Hope's name is never mentioned, or Gina's depending on how you look at it. So Marlena knows. Everything except that Hope was involved. Okay, so she must've told Stefano to turn me back, or we all go down. He shakes his head. Moral and ethical Dr. Evans. Did she really think she'll be able to cope knowing about the passion he shared with another woman, and things will just go right back to how it used to be? Naïve, at 50.

Then he takes out the three smaller envelopes, crinkly, but still sealed. The one is a recording. He puts the tape in his hand-held player and presses play.

He listens to them discussing the whole operation with Stefano the morning they gave him the reports to double check. The morning before Gina gave him the promised classes to look and sound more human.

He feels the one envelope, and suspects it to be a disk, a dvd… He pops it in his DVD player, and goes to scene selection. He selects the middle one, just to save time. As the dvd starts playing, he very quickly puts the volume down very low. His breath gets stuck in his throat as he remembers feeling what he is watching on screen. The camera is from an angle, coming through the window, possibly from the building in front of the Inn, and this camera must have very expensive zooming equipment, because every detail is as clear as if it is in the room, quietly he hears Hope scream his name through the muted volume, and see her nails drawing blood through the barely healed phoenix. He hears himself groaning, wondering with amazement how he doesn't even remember making such a sound. The picture is crystal clear, and if Marlena was to watch this footage, she would not have wondered about the woman's identity at all. Hope is instantly recognizable.

He presses the stop button, then as the dvd pops out of the machine, he exhales slowly… If he was playing with the idea of seduction, he is now very serious.

"Okay, so she's married. To a common beat cop with an anti-dimera complex and a nearly non-existent talent for smart comebacks. All bark and no bite…."

He pops the DVD back into the envelope, then open the last envelope with what can only be Polaroids. It is.

As he looks at the first photograph… just an innocent coffee at Java Café, then while turning over to go to the next one, he reaches for his phone and press number 2 on the speed dial.

Three rings later, he lands on the first of the incriminating photo's, and sucks in his breath, nearly choking as the picture had totally captured Hope's expression. He _will _make her feel that way again!

"John? Hallo?" He starts as Hope's voice on the other end of the line pulls him back to his current time and place.

"Yes…" he clears his throat, "sorry, I just saw something that…" he clears his throat again, "for a minute there I forgot I phoned you. Can we talk Hope? I need to know if you are still part of my life…?" Even though his plan is to keep her in his life, regardless of anything, he still finds himself holding his breath as he awaits her response….

He hears a sigh, and then a choked sob.

"My life is falling apart.. I need you." Not exactly an answer, but promising none the less…

"Yes, of course. What's wrong? Where are you?"

"LA… " she gives him the name of a museum and park he knows well.

"I'm on my way… I can stay on the line, if you want to talk about it…"

"No, that's fine… Rather keep your eyes on the road, cell phones can be distracting…" cradling his phone on his shoulder, John shoves all the envelopes back in the big one, and all the rest carelessly also into the A4 one, then bends down to pick up a photo that fell in his haste. Hope, pinned to the wall by his body, back arching, his hands messily buried in her hair as they kiss, her hands on his shoulders, pressed against the phoenix. He puts it in his jacket pocket, before answering Hope automatically.

"I'm a trained killer, talking and driving doesn't sound that dangerous…" he suddenly realizes how cold he sounds.

"Yes, well, try not to kill another on the way here… especially not in Salem, I'm in no mood for a homicide investigation." John smiles with amazement at her teasing answer, then she continues…" Unless, you know what Carly looks like, no-one will miss her…"

"Carly? Hope what's…"

"It's a long story. .. " The line goes quiet…

"Hope, are you still there?"

"(sigh) Yeah… I feel so lost. Don't you feel lost just drifting around on your own? Why don't you make an effort to make things right between you and Marlena, maybe if things can go right for you, I'll believe in the power of love again…"

"Hope, you're babbling… besides the power of love is a myth, probably dreamed up by Alice Horton…"

"You're making me feel so much better…." John can hear the sarcasm dripping.

"Yeah, well, life is what you make of it. Stay where you are, I'll be there is less than half an hour…"

"Mmm. John?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks…"

"Sure."

He hangs up, as he guns the engine, having just gotten onto the highway.

Hope is sitting in the park, next to the museum, watching the people, young couples, school children, all out on a day trip, just for fun. It makes her feel invisible.

Objectively she knows that things can't be that bad. Okay, so she's been pushing Bo away a bit, because she was freaked out by the memories, okay, so there is a very good possibility that she slept with John not so long ago, she herself isn't sure, Bo must be able to forgive her, it's keeping it from him that makes him angry, it's not trusting him with what she knows or suspects that is the problem, and Carly, well, she is just another ex. She'll be out of there lives in no time and then she herself will feel foolish for reacting the way she did…. So things aren't as bad.

But then she thinks about it with emotion involved, and it is so much worse. She feels betrayed by Bo for not at least talking to her before asking Carly to move in, she feels guilty because the memories make her wonder what else happened, and if it felt just as good, and then she knows, that telling Bo the truth, now of all times, would probably not be the best timing, and it will give Carly a way into their house. And now she had gone and make it worst by calling John. By right she should hand in her friends-resignation and send him back to New York to just go and be evil…

…and yet, she can't, they are connected, they have always been connected, knowing full well that he is a cold-blooded killer and even feeling a shiver of fear when she thinks of him, doesn't dim the feeling that he is her rock in the ocean. Perhaps she is being foolish? Perhaps this new-old man emerging after years of brainwashing could hurt her with no remorse, and yet…

Hope guiltily lowers her face, staring at her hands, why does she feel excitement with the fear?

Then she feels a warm hand on her one shoulder, then another on the other and the strong fingers encircling her neck, she suddenly stiffens with fear, but then the hands start kneading the muscles underneath, and she hears John's voice above her head.

"Damn Hope, how long has it been since you let your hair down? You're as tense as a guitar string." Involuntarily at hearing his voice, she relaxes, then let her head fall back against his stomach, his fingers doing magic on her sore body.

His question makes her think back over the last couple of weeks where she can find not one memory worth mentioning in the name of 'letting her hair down', instead the question just reminds her of everything that she has been struggling with. Involuntarily a sob escapes her and she realize that the burning behind her eyelids have gone over into tears.

Within seconds she finds herself cradled next to his warm chest, and his fingers combing repeatedly through her hair. He says nothing, just lets her cry it out.

Thinking to himself, he realizes that getting her away and showing her the world isn't really a completely selfish act. He'd like to think it is, but unfortunately, years of forced morality has given him the tools to recognize that he wants to do it for her as well. It's this limiting Salem lifestyle that has her in tatters.

Once she quiets down, John asks her to tell him what is bothering her.

"I don't know where to start…" Hope whispers, staring ahead of her, not moving away from her sanctuary in his embrace.

"Well, the beginning is usually the best place…" John remarks, sardonically.

"In that case I would say, it started with… Stefano's meddling, I suppose…"

"As usual, which time are we talking about?"

"That is part of it. I don't know exactly what happened. I just know, it messed up my head and then indirectly my relationship with Bo. At first I thought I am having a strange dream, and it will go away, and then things will return to normal, but it hasn't and every time he touches me, it happens, and he feels it too, and now that… woman is moving in with us so how can I try and talk to Bo about what I suspect! You know I want to call her a bitch, but I can't really because I only know of her, we've never met…. "

"Deep breath… I not completely following. Do you mean you are having memory flashes…"

"Memory flash. Singular. Over and over again…"

"Okay, and it is straining your sex life with Bo, and now Carly is moving into your house and you are worried about her honing in on your man while he's feeling neglected?"

Hope frowns.

"Well, now that you put it that way, it seems even worse."

"Oh, stop pouting, we've been here before… What do you remember? Or rather what do you suspect that you want to tell Bo?"

She pushes away a bit so she can look him in the eye. Their faces are just centimeters apart as she levels the accusation at him.

"I suspect you know a lot more than me."

For a couple of minutes they stare at one another, sizing up their opponent. Hope wonders if it was a wise thing to challenge John so directly, with him being so unpredictable of late, and John thinks of the envelope and the dvd and that he would rather prefer to show her what he knows, than tell her. His choice made, he decides to jump in and see what her reaction will be. In a split second he pulls her head towards him and plants his lips firmly on hers, taking her breath away as she feels a fire she never suspected would ignite by his touch. It was barely two seconds of contact, when he pulls back.

Shit. He's burning up. He was hoping to get a reaction out of her, but didn't expect that it would have such intense affect on himself, on some level he had somehow convinced himself that he likes the idea of her, that the fact that she looks like Gina has something to do with it, now he is forced to admit, that the times on the sub and the three weeks more recently, was way more intense that his original relationship with Gina. She is the reason. Hope.

"It's true…" Hope realizes, as she opens her eyes only to close them again as he kisses her again, this time, she's ready, she's waiting, she invites him in, hanging onto the life force that is burning her alive. Then she pushes him away, sliding further from him on the bench. In silence they stare at each other, gasping for air…

"Oh God!" Hope exclaims, then pushes her head into her hands. "It's true, isn't it?"

"Well, I don't know what you remember, but I'd love to tell you what is true or not." John's voice is strained, foreign to his own ears.

Hope looks up.

"I have to know." Hope says as she stands up, John following, when she rounds him, he wants to turn, she stops him. "No, I need to see something for myself…"

She stands behind him, and John tenses as he feels her fingers on his lower back, moving upwards pulling his shirt and jacket up, then he hears Hope's sharp in take of breath.

Pheonix. The phoenix she has been seeing for Days on end. The phoenix that is flapping it's wings in the mirror as John's hands brings her to boil… Slowly, she traces the outline with one finger, her eyes a mixture of awe and guilt.

"Hope." John's voice penetrates her consciousness, "Hope, stop." Her fingers freeze, then she realizes that she had lost herself in the moment. "If you don't stop touching me, I won't be responsible for my actions." She steps back, feeling confused, let her hand fall to her side. John turns around, and their eyes lock. There is about 2 meters between them, as Hope asks:

"We made love, didn't we?"

John stares at her, then starts shaking his head.

"No… No, it was so much more than that." Then he blindly walks off, leaving Hope standing in the middle of the park, frozen to the spot.


	30. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

**A/N:OMG! OMG! ****I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, I HAVE DIED AND GONE TO HEAVEN!**

**SPOILER ALERT!**

**IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING IN DAYS WEEK OF 6 FEB 2012 IN THE STATES, SKIP TO A/N END!**

**I JUST READ THAT IN ALICE'S SAFE DEPOSITS BOX, THE HORTON SECRET IS…**

**DUM…DUM…DUM… A marriage certificate stating that Hope and John is married! And it turns out to be legal, and they have to jump through legal hoops to get a divorce, because they are not allowed to get an annulment as the marriage was consummated…. You guessed it! On the Sub!**

**This storyline is so farfetched, I could've written it! Lol!**

**I AM SO GIDDY! I FEEL ANOTHER FANFIC COMING ON! (BUT I PROMISE TO TRY VERY HARD TO FINISH THIS ONE FIRST!)**

**A/N END **

SPOILER FREE SECTION:

As Hope pulls up in her driveway, she stops and stares, dreading to go in.

She is feeling so confused. She feels… as if her life is in Limbo, like she is in a transition period. A transition period that could become more painful with time. Things with Bo is kind of just hanging up in the air, nothing is getting resolved, and now the opportunity to try and resolve her… reluctance to get close has past with Carly moving in. And then… then there is John. Her cheeks burn scarlet as she tries to forget the incident in LA. She is refusing to feel guilty about it. She is in a situation that most people would never even be able to dream up, and seeing as she has no intention of having any contact with John, apart from the odd phone conversation that regards her case, she is going to write it off as just another… memory.

Feeling determined, if not better, she gets out and enters the house, then feels anger boiling in her.

Bo is standing in the lounge, cradling a crying woman in his arms.

Hope pulls a face. So this is Carly. After sizing up her opponent, she clears her throat.

Both looks up, a little edgy, Carly steps back looking slightly annoyed as she looks over the woman that was supposed to be dead and buried according to what she new back when she and Bo got together.

"Brady? Can we talk?"

Both are quiet, as they wait for Carly to do the appropriate thing and offer to leave the room.

"Don't mind me." She states, as she picks up her cup, heading for the kitchen. "Like it's her house." Hope can't help thinking.

"I'm sorry, Fancy face…" Bo steps closer, putting a hand on her arm… "if there was any other way…"

Suddenly Hope's anger subsides as she sees the fatigue in his eyes, and she feels a mirrored fatigue. She pulls him closer and they hug.

"Do we have to watch her 24/7 or can we go out tonight? Just you and me?" she murmurs.

"Oh, I think it would be safe…" Bo tightens his arms around her. "Besides, we need to talk. I don't know what is going on with you, but there is something bothering you, and I need to know what it is. It's the only way we can fix things."

"I'd love to sort everything out. I'd love to move on from here."

They kiss, smiling into each other's eyes, then Hope pulls away.

"Let me go freshen up, and then we can go…"

"It's gone!" Marlena shrieks into the phone.

"What is gone, Lady?" the PI asks, sounding rather annoyed.

"The envelope. Everything." She panics.

"Don't worry, Lady, I got copies."

Marlena slams her fist on the table in front of her, tears threatening to spill.

"I don't need copies! I need to know who has it. The information in there can send John to prison for life!" She should've destroyed it like she told Stefano she would, but she was keeping it, well, in case she needs it? In case a woman pitches up and she needs to see if it's _her._

"Look Lady, I don't investigate after the fact. I am not a police officer; I snoop and tell you what is currently going on." The line dies.

Marlena stares at the receiver in her hand. Then there is a knock on the door.

"Doc?" she hears John's voice.

"John?" her answer is more of a question, as she hurriedly dabs at her eyes, and check the wall mirror, breathing deep to appear calm.

"Coming."

She swings open the door. John walks in.

"I need some of Basic Black's documents from before I… well, died again."

"Something is different about you." Marlena states.

"Everything is different about me." John answers.

Marlena stares at him, wondering what exactly it is about him that changed. She can't put her finger on it, but it is like he is a stranger. Perhaps she just pushed him away so far that she doesn't really know him anymore? She needs to find that envelope, before he sees what is in it. If he does, yes, sure, he may understand why she has been acting so different, but it could also jog his memory about that other… woman, and then she may lose him forever. At this point they may still have a chance. Or even worse, if someone else has it they could use that envelope to put him away for life. Anxiously she tries to think of anyone who could have taken it. Only Stefano knew about it. Hopefully he took it and destroyed it. For the first time in her life she prays that Stefano is the culprit.

"Marlena?" John calls, then as she looks up, continue, "Why do you look like the world is coming to an end?"

Should she risk it, tell him? Or perhaps, just mention some of the details. It's his freedom on the line after all? Perhaps she has no choice, possibly lose him forever, to save him?

"I don't know where to begin. John, when you were, that… other John, you did many things. Things that can, well, land you in jail for life."

"Yes, we've been over this."

"Yes, but there is evidence. I had it. In the safe… If it falls into the wrong hands… "

"It won't."

Marlena stares at him, confused.

"How do you know?"

John starts rummaging through the desk drawers…

"Because I have it."

Marlena stares at him in silence, wondering if she heard correctly. Then it all starts making sense, he must remember that woman, perhaps they are even seeing each other, and he somehow got wind of her deal with Stefano, and decided that he needs to keep the evidence contained to save himself. Perhaps that is why he seemed like a stranger to her before. That other man must be coming back.

A blind fury takes hold of her. Everything she did was a waste of time, he ended up right back where he was, and again didn't even have the decency to tell her it's over. She narrows her eyes. She should've actually given that envelope to Hope or Roman back when she first got the info and gotten on with her life.

"You're back to your old tricks aren't you? So what is it? Did you suddenly remember the last year or have you been playing us all along?" she screams.

John pulls out the papers he was looking for.

"The former. Why would I want to deceive all of you?" He closes the drawer… "You do realize that this drawer hasn't been cleaned out in about 3 years?"

"How can you be so calm?" she whispers, rage thickening her airway.

"Because I'm still coming to terms with being able to remember everything, and getting all emotional is not going to help me sort my life out, and build something new."

As he heads for the door, she blurts out the question she keeps rephrasing in her mind.

"Are you back together?"

John looks confused.

"I'm still in one piece…"

"No, You and that… " her words trail off as she sees a sudden understanding on John's eyes.

"Oh, I am still working on that…" he shuts the door behind him.

Marlena lowers herself slowly onto the couch.

"What the hell does that mean? He is still working on it? Working on what? Remembering her, locating her, figuring out where she fits into his life, or getting back together with her?"

And his coldness towards herself? Is it because he knows what she did with the envelope? Will she be able to make it up to him? Perhaps, now that he knows what she had been struggling with, they can start working on rebuilding their relationship?

John walks into the Basic Black Offices and straight to his desk, it is the first time he has been here since getting his memory back. He walks through to his office, punches in the pass code, goes in and goes to sit behind his desk, firing up his computer, with not even a glance at any of his employees.

He wasn't kidding. He is rebuilding his life, and the easiest, is to start with all his business ventures, investigate where all of them are, see where improvements can be made, and where losses can be cut, sold or even closed down. Business keeps you busy and it doesn't affect your emotions. He refuses to think further on the subject of Hope and what happened that afternoon in LA. It makes his feel tumultuous, and he hates that. The whole reason he initially decided to see how far he can push things with her was because she fascinates him, the idea of taking her as the good girl and bringing out the rebel in her, was too delicious to pass up. The physical attraction he feels towards her was just a nice bonus. Now, she is starting to make him feel a whole lot of other things. Things that scare him. When he fell for Gina, he fell hard, and realized too late that she will be the end of his career and ambitions, after all, the only way he could have her to himself was to take her away from Stefano, which meant giving up his own adventurous lifestyle, with Hope, he would rather stay away than fall into that pot again. With Gina, at least he knew that he wouldn't have to change, that no matter what he did, she would stick by him, after all, her morals were the same. With Hope… her morality is high, her values pure, and eventually, that is what she would expect of him, and that he cannot have, he spent 25 years living that life with Marlena, now he is free. Not just physically, but his mind as well, his identity.

He starts as the phone rings.

"Black?"

"You know how hard it is to track you down?" Abe asks

"Hey, Buddy."

"Listen, I'm sure Hope must've mentioned the whole undercover thing already. It has now become urgent. We have reason to suspect a shipment coming in from China. It's docking on Friday. Dimera shipping just advertised a post for an assistant to the shipping and customs manager. This guy has work for Dimera for over 30 years. If there is anything to know, I can bet you his involved. Also, the post involves helping out the accounting department. It's your average school-leaver job, but I need you to get Hope in there, ASAP. I need her to leave tomorrow, be there by Thursday, and have gotten her boss to trust her enough to involve her on Friday when they are meeting the customs officials at the port…"

"They're meeting the custom's officials at the Port?" John echoes.

"Yep, that in itself is already a red flag."

"Does Hope know?"

"No, pull some strings, I'm mailing you a fake id document and CV for Hope, then please let her know if you are successful, if not, phone me, and I'll see if I can find another way."

"Sure thing." John opens up his email client after hanging up. It's probably for the best of he gets Hope out of town as soon as possible anyway.


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 30**

"Bo?" Hope starts tentatively, sitting across from him at the Royal Cuisine that just recently opened in Salem. Bo is heartily tucking into his Lamb Kebabs, while Hope is trying to look as if she is enjoying her meal past the knot in her stomach.

"I really enjoyed getting out and dancing a bit tonight…. But we do still need to discuss the whole Carly situation."

Bo takes a swallow of his wine.

"I know, Fancyface. You know I would not be asking you to… allow this, if there was any other alternative. Victor is really worried."

"Yes, I understand that. And I am happy for you, being able to get closer with your father after all these years, but… Bo. We have some of our own issues we need to deal with… I have… things that are… well, bothering me, stuff that, I have to discuss with you and…"

"So, talk to me Hope." Bo puts down his fork to take her hand in his. "Nothing between us has changed. I have noticed that something is… amiss with you, and I've wanted to talk to you for a while now."

"Bo, I have serious issues to… discuss with you, but I don't feel comfortable talking to you with Carly around…"

"Do you see Carly around here?" Bo asks, gesturing to their surrounding area.. "I don't… So, out with it… It's not like you're having an affair or something like that…" Bo jokes.

Hope looks a little uncomfortable…

"Well, no, but…" Hope stops short as her phone starts ringing. She checks the caller ID. John Black. She hangs up, then looks up at Bo…

"I have recently learned some things….Oh, for God's sake!" she exclaims as her phone starts ringing again. Looking very much annoyed she presses the green button and brings the phone to her ear.

"Dammit, John. You've been dodging my phone calls for two weeks, but you expect me to answer the minute you ring."

Bo frowns, looking confused, wondering why she would be phoning John so much… Still the case? Why would he be avoiding the case?

"Sorry Hope, but this is very urgent. You need to pack. I've booked you on a flight to New York tomorrow morning at 6…"

"At 6! Why… John…"

"You have an interview with a Mr. Charles Grayson at Dimera shipping. Abe is mailing you the details of the position, and I've just mailed you a copy of the fake CV and ID I had sent them."

"John, I can't leave now. You know the situation."

"Situation?" Bo mutters.

"It's unavoidable. Abe wants you to ingratiate yourself with old Charlie before Friday, since there is a very important meeting at the port that you have to be at, and for that to happen, he needs to trust you."

Hope sighs, rubbing her eyes and forehead, then smoothing her hair back.

"Fine. I suppose I should be grateful you finally decided to keep up your end of the bargain. What flight am I on?"

"Couldn't find a place with Thanksgiving around the corner, so you'll be taking my jet. I've arranged a rental car in New York, a VW Golf, the old box shape. When you see the job you'll be taking, you'll see why you'll need to look like someone who really needs it."

"Well, thanks for taking care of the little details." Hope sighs again, "I'll better get packing then…"

"Packing?" Bo mutters.

"Be careful, this could get dangerous, I grew up with this guy, he is not someone to play around with."

"I will… You know I always am…"

"I'm serious Hope. I have half a mind to go with you…"

"Stop worrying John, I don't need a bodyguard."

"Yeah, okay… How 'bout a hired assassin? Do you need me to kill Carly while your away?"

At the last phrase, Hope can't help giggling. Bo frowns.

"Please don't"

"Damn, okay. Well, If you need any help, call me."

"Will do, Bey!"

As Hope hangs up, Bo sits forward.

"What was that all about?"

Still smiling a little secretive smile as she thinks over how life would actually be easier if she could take John up on his offer regarding Carly, Bo's phrase startles her back to the present.

"Work. I'm leaving for New York in the morning."

Bo frowns.

"Why's John phoning you about work?"

Hope gives a little smile, as she sees the frown on Bo's face, then get's an amused, teasing expression, as she leans forward.

"Oh my God, Brady. You're jealous?"

"No, I'm just not used to John being back on our side… and I don't see how he can be involved in a case that is so highly confidential, I'm not even clued in."

"Seriously? Bo. You know who we're investigating. We need all the help we can get. And John has the means to do that."

She reaches over the table.

"Brady, I really appreciate you taking us out for a bit, but I am going to have to go pack. This could finally be the time that Stefano doesn't win."

They both get up, and hug.

"Finish your meal; I'll see you at home." They kiss. "Love you, Brady."

As she walks off, Bo sits down to his meal, suddenly with no appetite. He pulls the last piece of kebab from the stick and pops it into his mouth. He's feeling more confused than ever. For some unidentifiable reason, he just can't trust John the way he used to. He can't put his finger on why, it just feels like John is the enemy for some reason.

* * *

05:00am

The clock flashes on her night stand.

Hope groans, then drags herself out of bed. After dressing, and brushing her teeth, and making sure she looks presentable enough for an interview, she hauls her suitcase downstairs.

Ciara is asleep, Bo had fallen asleep on the couch, the TV still throwing silent images over his face, and Carly, well, she's nowhere near Bo, so no-one really cares where she is. Hope smiles, contemplating whether she should wake him up to say good bye or to rather leave him. He looks beat, and he is softly snoring. Eventually she decides to rather leave him be. She tiptoes over, and gives him a very light peck on the cheek.

"Love you, Brady." She whispers, then goes out into the yard, to find John parked in the driveway.

He gets out and grabs her bag.

"Any particular reason why you are chauffeuring me to the airport." Hope asks with a lifted eyebrow.

"A very good one. I can't sleep."

She shakes her head and gets into the door that he is holding for her, then he rounds the car, and gets in himself.

Behind the lounge window's curtains, Bo frowns.

The light peck did wake him up, but he should've stayed asleep. He didn't like this little scene one bit. And what he likes even less is the way John's looking at his wife…


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 31**

"So you couldn't sleep?" Hope asks, skeptically.

"Nope… but that's just an excuse. I am giving you the Ryan-Forrest-John Brady-Allamain-Black-Dimera training…"

Hope starts laughing suddenly as the hilarity of the situation that is their lives hit her…

"Okay, Fire away, Mr. I-HAVE-LIVED-MANY-LIVES. Train me…"

"Open the envelope."

Hope looks up at the envelope on the dashboard, and take out the copy of her CV inside.

"You mailed me a copy, remember."

"I know, but see, you wanted my help with this investigation… My _inside_ help, and that is exactly what I am going to give you. Look at your last employer."

"Jameson Lager?"

"Yep, your immediate superior…."

"Archealas Delgado?"

"Archie, to you. He died about six months ago, but he was good friends with Charlie in the old days. What their relationship was like towards the end, I don't know, but it doesn't matter, Charlie will know that, as Archie's assistant, you can keep your mouth shut and do what he needs, regardless of the legality. Say, "Thank you John, for doing half my work for me, I am now guaranteed to get hired."

Hope can't help but laugh.

"Thank you John…." She repeats in a little girl voice…"for doing half of my work for me, I am now guaranteed to get hired."

"Pleasure. But that doesn't keep you out of danger. If the shit hits the fan, you phone me. I'll deal with them better than any cop…."

Hope barely registers John's new colorful language, as she realizes that he does make her feel safe.

* * *

"Virginia Tyson." The no-nonsense secretary announces, curtly.

Hope gets up, and smiles. Before she can even say anything, the old woman continues.

"You're next." She motions with her head to the door next to her cubicle.

Hope takes a deep breath, and goes over her CV in her mind as she approaches the door, enters and closes it behind her. Once inside, she looks up to see a fat man at the end of a very long board room table. A detached part of Hope's mind whispers to her. "Designed to intimidate."

Well, he cannot intimidate her, because she's only interested in working with him until the end of the week. Another, even more objective part of Hope's mind notices the calculating way she is assessing the situation. Gina seems to be lingering, but for once, she welcomes it. Gina is exactly who is needed right about now.

She smiles, confidently, and walks briskly to "old Charlie", holding out her hand to shake his.

"Mr. Grayson. It's a pleasure to finally meet you." They shake hands.

"Finally?" he enquires looking a little flattered, and very much interested in being flattered some more.

"Well, yes, your business sense has made you quite famous around… town." She hesitates at the end, as if to give him the impression that he must know she is referring to much more. Perhaps it is a good thing John told her about his childhood. Now she knows how, important, reputations are to the underground criminals in New York. They want to be known, without being outed. Her sudden accent scares her. It makes her sound too much like her doppelganger princess, but it's the only accent she can do, and she needs to sound different. She can't suddenly grow an accent if she answers the office phone, and happens to talk to someone in Dimera Shipping Salem who will most definitely recognize her voice.

"Have a seat, Mrs. Tyson…." He gestures, and continues while she gets seated, to the right of him, instead of at the other end of the table, "I see you used to work with my late friend, Archie Delgado…

"Yes… Ol' Archie… I really enjoyed working with him. He was a hoot, we had a… understanding, I will miss him dearly…."

"And I'm sure you'll miss his pay check as well."

"Well, off course." Hope looks at him as if that is to be expected. "As much as I loved working with him, he knew I'd, well, go the extra mile only if I feel appreciated."

Come on, he has to take the bait….

Charles Grayson sits back, smiles, then sits forward, offering her his hand.

"I have a feeling we will get on very well. Welcome to the team. See you tomorrow morning."

They shake hands, and as Hope stands up to leave the board room, his phone rings.

"Grayson? Oh, Mr. Dimera. Yes, I have found a replacement for James. No, this one used to work for Delgado before he died, so none of that drama will arise." He winks at her as he says, "She understands the nature of our… industry." Hope gives him a conspiring smile, before exiting the room.

She smirks at the sour-faced secretary, basically because she wish people like that would just go be negative somewhere else, and at the same time it felt like the correct response for her… character to do.

* * *

"John?" Bo asks, approaching him sitting at a table at Java Café.

John looks up, lifting an eyebrow, then closes the notebook he has been writing notes in. He slips some newspaper clippings, into the book as well.

"Hey, Bo. What's up?" he asks, but can't help but feel like Bo Brady's out to give him a headache today. His body language certainly suggests it.

"That's what I would like to know."

"I'm not following." John pulls out a cigar, and lights it.

"What are you up to John? Why are you smoking cigars, and hanging around my wife, and phoning her at all hours."

John looks at him, then smiles.

"You're serious."

"Yes, I'm serious. Answer me."

A waitress puts a cup of coffee in front of John.

John shakes his head, then launches into an exasperated speech.

"I'm smoking because it's the only thing that relaxes me, and because I am sleep deprived, and my doctor refuses to give me more sleeping tablets, seeing as I have a really bad history with prescription drugs, I am hanging around your wife, because if I don't she'll never get her work done, and Dimera will pull me down right along with him. I am phoning your wife at all hours because Abe has got really bad timing. Let me see, did I leave anything out?"

Bo just shakes his head and sit down.

"I'm sorry John…." He sighs, "Things have been strained at home."

"So get rid of the ex." John shrugs, taking another deep drag of his cigar.

"She told you about that?" Bo looks sheepish.

John quirks an eyebrow and sits up.

"No, Bo, we have been best friends for ages… Why on earth would she tell me something that broke her heart?"

Bo flinches at the sarcasm, realizing how his question must've sounded.

"Sorry."

"Stop doing that!" John explodes "Stop apologizing to me. You don't owe me anything, it's Hope you should apologize to, and if you have any intention of saving your marriage, you'll get rid of that other woman." John scrapes his chair back, and stands up, gathering his things. "Well, I have done my good deed for the day, so I'm off." His phone vibrates, just as he picks it up to put it in his pocket.

Bo's eyes narrow, as John walks off, the wind almost blowing away his voice as he answers the phone….

"Hey, Hope… How'd it go?"

* * *

In New York, Hope opens the hotel window, as she answers John.

"Good. I got the job…. " she fans herself, waiting for at least the semblance of a cool breeze to enter the room.

"I know Virginia is supposed to be really hard-up for cash, but do you think Abe will mind if I con a better hotel room out of that fat friend of yours?" she grumbles into the phone.

John starts chuckling, oblivious to Bo Brady watching him from a distance.

"Well, Hope, we'll make a little con-artist of you yet. What do you say, when this job is over, you and me go somewhere far, far away and go con people out of their money."

Hope rolls her eyes.

"How 'bout not?" she answers. "Anyway, he trusts me already, so I'm basically waiting for paperwork to keep me busy until the meeting on Friday…. I'm pretty sure I am a part of it."

"Great."

" I need to get this over with so I can go deal with Carly…" she lights a cigarette. After all, she's Virginia Tyson for the next couple of days.

"Yeah…. Good luck with that. You know I have always thought Bo is stubborn and pig headed, and I've heard Stefano call him tenacious, like a dog with a bone, but seriously can I just hit him over the head?"

"Please tell me you didn't confront him?" Hope sighs, exhaling a puff of smoke. Bo's already not to happy with John's involvement in the case, and she can't understand why…. Ok, yes, there has been some more-than-working moments, but he doesn't know that…

"No, off course not, he came to me."

"To you?! Why?"

"I don't know. Did you tell him anything about the memories?"

"No…. I was about to when you phoned last night."

"Well, he is definitely not comfortable with us working together."

Hope hangs over the window sill, and when she sees no-one walking past below her window, she lets the cigarette bud go. She sighs, then the worried expression fades, as a spiteful little look enters her eyes….

"You know what? Serves him right. Let him worry, if it keeps Carly out of his orbit, then it's worth having him worry about me."


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 32**

Carly looks over at Bo Brady, as he is busy making and eating pancakes with Ciara. Somewhere inside her she feels a pang. It hurts, looking at him. Looking at what she lost when she made the wrong choice. Chose the wrong man. Instead of taking what Bo offered, she decided to stick to the bad boy, the one with the danger and excitement, and it nearly got her killed.

She sighs.

Well, she made her choice. It is too late now. For a second she wishes that she could turn back time, and stay here, stay with him. But then, Hope still would've come back from the dead…. But maybe they would've made it anyway? She looks up startled, as Ciara laughs aloud, with Bo's face white with flour, laughing with her.

If only Hope wasn't in the picture. That's the only way he would look at her again. She knows that, Bo and Hope's love is legendary in this place. It ranks right up there with Shawn and Caroline Brady, and Tom and Alice Horton…

She sighs again.

There is really no point in wishing. This is her life. She had better get used to it.

* * *

Ring-ring….

Groggily Hope reaches over to the phone next to her bed.

"Mrs. Tyson, this is your 05:00 am wake-up call. I am Shirley from the front desk. Would you like to order breakfast, or do you want me to phone again in ten minutes."

Hope groans, the pushes herself up on her elbows, and croaks.

"Just coffee, please."

"Hallo?" John answers, the new blackberry, with the number reserved for business.

"Forest?" Ah, the feelers he had stuck out, is paying off.

"Yes?"

"It's Mario. Spinelli. You wanted to know about the meeting at the docs tomorrow?"

"Yeah, you have information?"

"It's going to cost you."

"You know I'm good for it. Have I ever dropped you?"

"No, but you have disappeared from the grid for twenty-odd years."

"Mario, are you sharing, or not?"

"Okay… word is that the custom officials have been taken in by NYPD…. It's a setup. If Ol' Charlie and his people walk into that trap, they're all going for a very long vacation."

"Great, Mario. SMS me your banking details, I'll see that you get something for your effort."

"I hope you're not gonna interfere with the investigation…. If they're off the street, then we can take over…."

"Oh, he'll be off the street, and even the guys higher up, but just not yet…"

"What do you mean….?"

"I mean, keep your mouth shut. Ol' Charlie won't be going down alone tomorrow. He'll take all his friends with, but only once I have got everything in place. Then you're welcome to have the entire eastern seaboard."

"I doubt if Dimera shipping will allow it."

"I will be Dimera Shipping."

* * *

"Mr. Black?" Megan Smith enquires, leaning around his office door frame at Basic Black.

John looks up, taking of his jacket, and hanging it on the back of his desk chair. He has just walked into Basic Black's offices, and haven't even had time to get coffee.

"Megan? Get me some coffee, will you."

"Sure, in a minute. There is a lady who would like to see you."

"Oh?"

"A Miss. Genevieve…?"

John frowns, he has no idea who this could be.

"Okay, well, show her in."

A few minutes later Megan walks back in with a tray with coffee, milk, sugar, two cups, and a young lady in toe. She isn't the best looking girl, a little spotty, a little over weight, but will a fabulous dress sense.

"Mr. Black, this is Miss. Genevieve."

"Genevieve?

"Just Genevieve." The girls pipes up. She can't be older that twenty-three, twenty-four.

He motions for her to take a seat, as Megan pours them each a cup of coffee, leaving them to whiten and sweeten as they wish.

"So, Genevieve, what is it that I can do for you."

The young girl smiles nervously.

"Well, I…uh, I'd like to thank you for seeing me. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to see you… I.. um…" she clears her throat, then seems to straighten up and become more confident as she pulls a large A3 folder from her side.

"I'm a designer, and I had brought you my portfolio. What makes me different…." John can recognize that she had prepared this speech a long time, before being ushered into his office, "is that I design for older woman. Woman in their forties, and older. Woman who want to be successful, and stylish, without having to adopt the younger woman's trend and make it work for them. I feel that there is an opening in the market for a line that caters to these age groups, and your company is the best design house in the state, so therefore, you have the recourses to make this happen. If you have a look at my designs, I am sure that you will see what I see, and see the heaps of money we, you can make with this."

John pulls the folder closer, and opens to the first page.

He feels like the breath is knocked out of him. He pages again. This girl's designs are amazing. He can see woman buying this, he can already see in his minds' eye the marketing campaign that changes the landscape of fashion and the different markets. And he can see Hope modeling this. If she would…. He has no idea, but she used to model for Bella…. So why not. He feels a slight impatience with the case that still needs to get over and done with, and excitement at pitching this idea to her.

He smiles as he looks up at Genevieve. Her eyes are sparkling as she has already seen her reaction to her designs.

"Genevieve. I have a great feeling about this line." He presses the button on his phone. "Megan, please come here."

As Megan enters he immediately starts giving orders.

"Megan, take Miss. Genevieve's details, and set up a board meeting for next week Friday. Phone Miss. Genevieve with the time once it has been confirmed." Then he addresses the young girl before him. "Genevieve. Be ready to wow them all. I think this could be the start of a great career for you."

As the two woman exists his office, he checks the time. It's nearly 10:00 AM, better get Hope clued up on what's been happening at the NYPD.

* * *

Hope walks into the office, and Miss. Sour-face gives her an up-and-down look before taking her through to an office, in the back corner, next to Mr. Grayson's.

"Mr. Grayson will be in at around 09:00 am, until then, just stay out of trouble Mrs. Tyson." Hope pulls a face at the door that closed behind her.

Having nothing to do, she sits down behind the desk. The workstation has not been set-up yet, and the office has no window for a view. She has a phone, though, and no-one to call on a semi-private line….

She sighs.

Then realizes with a start that she hasn't even been in touch with Bo yet. With everything she has had to think of, it never occurred to her. She must be the worst wife in the world!

She takes out her mobile and phones Bo's mobile. She's decided that she will not use the home phone until that woman is out of her house. She has no intention of hearing her voice.

"Brady?" Bo answers.

"Hey, Brady…"

"Fancy face! Why haven't you phoned me? I've been so worried?" he exclaims, in the back of his mind a little voice says: "you could've picked up the phone and done the calling." Then another little voice answers "No, it should come from her. She has enough time to phone John."

As the two voices continue their silent war, Hope sighs…

"Yeah, I'm sorry, Brady, with everything I just didn't find the time."

But you had the time to phone John. He stays silent.

"How's Ciara?" Hope asks….

"We made pancakes last night. She enjoyed it a lot."

Hope's smiles at the mental picture he paints.

"I can imagine…." Then her guard goes up, "And Carly?"

"She was watching…"

"Okay…."

The grow silent. Hope wondering how to fix the growing silences. She hears a shuffle outside the door, and then Charlie's voice.

"I have to go Brady, my temporary Boss just walked in. I love you…."

"Boss?"

"Long story. I'll phone you again later."

"Yeah. Love you too, Fancy face." As Charles walks in, she disconnects the call, dropping the phone in her pocket.

* * *

"Okay, everyone in agreement?"

After a unanimous vote, the board meeting is over, and employees are slowly trickling back to their offices, stopping at water coolers, or cubicles for a quick chat. Hope trails after Charles, making notes. It's a shame this job is only a sham, she's quite enjoying this.

They enter his office, and he tells her to sit down, and take down a letter for him. Yes, a letter, not an email. As she gets the papers together, her mobile phone rings. She checks the caller ID…. It's John.

She thinks fast. The call could be relevant to the case, but she also cannot get into trouble on her first day. Making a split second decision, she answers.

"Hi, Giovanni! Can I phone you back? I'm at work."

John's voice sounds rushed.

"No. Get everyone out of that meeting tomorrow. The customs officials have all been dragged down to NYPD. It's a setup. If you go tomorrow, you're cover will be blown, Ol' Charlie will go down and Stefano will get off scott-free."

"How do you know?"

She can see Charles becoming impatient. He'll just have to wait. Afterall, she'll be saving his ass pretty soon.

"Let's just say I have connected with some childhood friends."

"Well, under the circumstances, I'm glad you did. Thanks!"

"No problem. I'll phone you after work."

"Bye."

When she hangs up, Charlie is resting his arms on the desk, his facial expression clearly showing his distaste for the "personal" phone call, in his office, on his time.

"Oh, Honey, stop looking like you are going to tear me apart." Hope has no idea where the silky-smooth deadly voice came from. It seems Virginia Tyson is creating herself. "This phonecall just saved your ass."

"My ass?" he looks doubtful, and still angry.

"Call off the meeting."

"What meeting?"

"The meeting with the custom officials tomorrow."

"How do you know about that meeting."

"Look, I know the industry, as you so eloquently put it. I have contacts. I keep my ear to the ground."

He is still staring at her.

"They have all been dragged down town to NYPD. It's a setup. Now, you can always leak some information to one of your competitors, and get them arrested."

Where the hell did that come from?! Virginia is taking on her own persona here. Then again, Hope reasons, at least some low life will get taken off the streets, just not the low lives they need.

He is still staring at her, then he picks up the phone.

"It's me. I need you to verify some information for me…."


End file.
